Social Anxiety Support

illlaymedown · 10-29-2009, 08:26 PM

I used to think I was the hugest weirdo for being scared to work/get a job. I also only thought I had depression until I found about about SA and found out I wasn't the ONLY person in the world to have it after so long feeling like I was just stupid and weird. I've found that now that I know about it, I feel more normal, as much as I can with SA and not so alone. Also, I noticed that sometimes my mind tries to use it as an excuse to stay socially anxious. Like it's ok cus it's a real issue many face...I still fight it and it seems like that's gotten easier since giving it a name, but I'm also more aware of my anxiety than I used to be. So it's been mostly good for me, but did have its draw backs :/

tvgirl48 · 10-29-2009, 08:42 PM

Like you, it's given me some sense of normality as normal as you can get with SA. It makes me feel better to identify it, to know I'm not just totally weird and alone in my oddness. I can identify it, I can accept it and figure out how to deal with it. I know I'll always feel anxiety but now I can rationalize myself out of it in some cases. Ironically, my SA is another motivator for me to try and be just as good or better than any one else in my academics despite my SA. It's kinda like when someone doubts my academic abilities and I want to do better just out of spite.

Ing · 10-29-2009, 08:43 PM

I’m not really sure. I almost felt a little worse to find that I have severe anxiety and I’m not just shy; I just never really thought about it. It is really nice to vent about social anxiety issues on the forum though, and I’ve found some useful information to help slowly overcome social anxiety. I guess since I’ve joined the forums I’ve starting actually noticing this as a problem and have been trying a bit harder to fix it.

tvgirl48 · 10-29-2009, 08:44 PM

Also, identifying my SA has helped me recognize what good things I DO have. I have a lot to be grateful for and I'm not going to dwell all the time on what I don't have and wallow in self-pity. Appreciating the little things in life has actually done wonders for my day-to-day happiness.

softconcrete · 10-29-2009, 09:04 PM

i think i liked it better before i knew about it. when i thought i was just shy i would try and do things. now that i know i have it, i use it as an excuse to stay in and not try anything. i used to leave the house a lot more before i found out i had it.

toffee · 10-29-2009, 09:10 PM

I'm not as confused.. now i know why i feel this way.. i thought i was the only person in the world who felt like this.

secretlyshecries · 10-29-2009, 10:33 PM

It hasn't 'changed everything' but it's given me some relief to know it isn't just me.

LStambaugh85 · 10-29-2009, 11:55 PM

I always knew that there was something wrong with me or I was different. I was mis-diagnosed in high school with depression and it wasnt until I ended up picking up a book at the library 1 day that I realized there was a name for what was wrong with me! It has changed my way of thinking from this is who I am to this isnt who I have to be. I know that my anxiety is only the effect of inner wounds and its just a matter of healing those wounds. Putting a label on myself has only given me hope and as I work through my issues hope is what keeps me going everyday.

slkjao · 10-30-2009, 12:14 AM

i think im always going to be shy but its good to know that this level of anxiety is not normal and can be fixed to the point where i wont be afraid to make a phone call or something equally trivial.

ImAboutToEXPLODE · 10-30-2009, 01:59 AM

Nope.I cant remember when i first heard the term "social anxiety", because it was such a non-event, means nothing....

Trini · 10-30-2009, 07:02 AM

Yes, most definitely it has helped. It helps explains things and it helps push me to not do things the way I've always done them. Finding this board and seeing others out there with similiar issues also helps greatly.

My husband has ADD and be it valid or not, he uses it as an excuse A LOT. I'm very much aware of that and have vowed to not use my disorder as an excuse.

pixies · 10-30-2009, 07:16 AM

Being told I had Social Anxiety Disorder was a massive revelation to me. I all kinds of freaky problems and I never knew why. Im a way I was relieved to know what my problem is, and that it's a recognised thing with recognised treatments.. However at the same time, it was heart breaking news for me to learn that I have a serious illness and it's one with such an embarassing name... We all want to think of ourselves as popular, sociable people, but if I am to tell friends and family the truth about my behaviour... I have to tell them that I have a social problem. To me it's akin to telling them, "Yeah Brad Pitt, Beyonce, and all the cool kids of the world, they are super social centers of attention. Me though, I am incapable of even talking to people". It's an illness... but I'm sure people would judge me at being a loser for not learning to work in social situations like all the other normal people in the world. But maybe that's just my negative view of it. Some people at least, would appreciate it's an illness I'm sure.

Attracting attention to me having a problem also made me feel worse. I have been quite unwell with this thing for the last year since I was diagnosed. I now get panic attacks and stuff, because although I'm better off for knowing.. I now am more nervous about social situations because I know I have a specific problem affecting me in them..

The positive of all this though, is that I know what I have, and I am motivated to beat the damn thing. It is screwing my life up and as someone else described in another thread here, playing the waiting game, waiting for the moment when you are going to be strong enough to beat it... it's a waste of time. It will never come. You have to throw caution to the wind and go out and do stuff. Meet people even if it's going somewhere on the bus for a change and asking someone the time. That post really pushed me. I've since told my friend I will go to the gym with him twice every week, and on another one or two nights I'm going to sign up to a night class in cooking or something. I know my enemy, I'm going to fight it now, and I'm not going to keep waiting to be in the right mood to fight it.

Dempsey · 10-30-2009, 07:33 AM

I knew I was "shy", but I didn"t see shyness as a way of thinking. For some reason I didn"t consider that other people may think the same way I do in these situation.

It was only after looking up "shyness" in wikipedia that I saw that it was a condition, a relatable phobia. After that I realised that my shyness counquered most of my life. A lot of things I can"t do or don"t do wasn"t just because of my personality, it was because my "shyness" was preventing any growth there. I became very depressed for a few weeks after I grew more and more aware of how much it affected me.
Now I"m at the stage where I"m finally taking steps to help it, which wouldn"t have happened with out finding out about SAD.

[edit] I just realised I wrote exactly what Pixies did. Damn.

pixies · 10-30-2009, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dempsey

[edit] I just realised I wrote exactly what Pixies did. Damn.

that's ok, I like knowing I'm not alone

Toad Licker · 10-30-2009, 10:54 AM

I don't think knowing really helps a lot except maybe for understanding somewhat what you are going through, though any help is good so...

illlaymedown · 10-31-2009, 06:03 PM

I'd like to do more things, but I have tons of issues besides SA to work with/through...I have faced it when I got the chance though and honestly, it's not so bad. I was TERRIFIED to work on a cash register about a month ago and I did it at my mom's job when they needed help one night. I felt AWESOME after doing it

I also waited tables and answered the phone and was pretty comfy with it after an hour or so....the problem is finding a job in this economy and my family is not the best...I've written a little about them in my blogs. They hold me back a lot

zomgz · 10-31-2009, 06:11 PM

All I know is it's so nice not to be alone in this =]

Fuzzy Logic · 10-31-2009, 06:18 PM

I used to think I was just a freak of nature and that every other human being in the world found socialising easy and had friends. While other mental conditions are all over the media, I never saw anything that seemed like what I had. It was strange when I found out it is so common. Why isn't it more publicised? If it were more widely known I wouldn't have had to wait all those years to figure out what the hell was wrong with me.

Fajita · 11-01-2009, 07:04 PM

I think it has definitely helped me more than anything to know that there is a name for this problem and that there are other people out there that suffer from it too. All through school I was always the shyest, quietest person and I never understood why everything was so easy for everyone else and I just could not bring myself to talk. It wasn't until I ended up dropping out of college due to conditions I believe to be related to social anxiety that I finally did some research online and found out about this. Although I am still really shy, I have been taking steps to work on things and I now believe that there is actually hope that I can improve things.

10-29-2009, 08:26 PM	#1 (permalink)
illlaymedown Status: Miseria Cantare Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Mississippi Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 366	Has having a name for your anxiety changed anything? I used to think I was the hugest weirdo for being scared to work/get a job. I also only thought I had depression until I found about about SA and found out I wasn't the ONLY person in the world to have it after so long feeling like I was just stupid and weird. I've found that now that I know about it, I feel more normal, as much as I can with SA and not so alone. Also, I noticed that sometimes my mind tries to use it as an excuse to stay socially anxious. Like it's ok cus it's a real issue many face...I still fight it and it seems like that's gotten easier since giving it a name, but I'm also more aware of my anxiety than I used to be. So it's been mostly good for me, but did have its draw backs :/ __________________ "I feel like a helpless puppet being manipulated in some major scheme."~ Squall Leonhart My avatar is my art...www.myspace.com/illlaymedown

10-29-2009, 08:42 PM	#2 (permalink)
tvgirl48 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Ohio Gender: Female Posts: 213	Like you, it's given me some sense of normality as normal as you can get with SA. It makes me feel better to identify it, to know I'm not just totally weird and alone in my oddness. I can identify it, I can accept it and figure out how to deal with it. I know I'll always feel anxiety but now I can rationalize myself out of it in some cases. Ironically, my SA is another motivator for me to try and be just as good or better than any one else in my academics despite my SA. It's kinda like when someone doubts my academic abilities and I want to do better just out of spite. __________________ -"Do you have a dream for your life? Your future? Yes?" -"Of course. Do you?" -"It might sound weird. I want to someday be content. Just...feel comfortable, like everyone else. I want..." -"...a normal life." - Dexter

10-29-2009, 08:44 PM	#4 (permalink)
tvgirl48 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Ohio Gender: Female Posts: 213	Also, identifying my SA has helped me recognize what good things I DO have. I have a lot to be grateful for and I'm not going to dwell all the time on what I don't have and wallow in self-pity. Appreciating the little things in life has actually done wonders for my day-to-day happiness. __________________ -"Do you have a dream for your life? Your future? Yes?" -"Of course. Do you?" -"It might sound weird. I want to someday be content. Just...feel comfortable, like everyone else. I want..." -"...a normal life." - Dexter

10-29-2009, 09:10 PM	#6 (permalink)
toffee Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: England Gender: Female Age: 17 Posts: 181	I'm not as confused.. now i know why i feel this way.. i thought i was the only person in the world who felt like this. __________________ Everywhere i look, you're all i see.. just a fading ****ing reminder of who i used to be.

10-30-2009, 12:14 AM	#9 (permalink)
slkjao Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Sylmar, California Gender: Male Age: 19 Posts: 74	i think im always going to be shy but its good to know that this level of anxiety is not normal and can be fixed to the point where i wont be afraid to make a phone call or something equally trivial. __________________ "Success doesn't mean the absence of failures; it means the attainment of ultimate objectives. It means winning the war, not every battle." —Edwin C. Bliss

10-29-2009, 08:43 PM	#3 (permalink)
Ing Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: United States Gender: Female Age: 19 Posts: 61	I’m not really sure. I almost felt a little worse to find that I have severe anxiety and I’m not just shy; I just never really thought about it. It is really nice to vent about social anxiety issues on the forum though, and I’ve found some useful information to help slowly overcome social anxiety. I guess since I’ve joined the forums I’ve starting actually noticing this as a problem and have been trying a bit harder to fix it.

10-29-2009, 09:04 PM	#5 (permalink)
softconcrete Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 146	i think i liked it better before i knew about it. when i thought i was just shy i would try and do things. now that i know i have it, i use it as an excuse to stay in and not try anything. i used to leave the house a lot more before i found out i had it.

10-29-2009, 10:33 PM	#7 (permalink)
secretlyshecries Status: In hiding Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Australia, hiding under a rock somewhere Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 569	It hasn't 'changed everything' but it's given me some relief to know it isn't just me.

10-29-2009, 11:55 PM	#8 (permalink)
LStambaugh85 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: CA Gender: Female Posts: 26	I always knew that there was something wrong with me or I was different. I was mis-diagnosed in high school with depression and it wasnt until I ended up picking up a book at the library 1 day that I realized there was a name for what was wrong with me! It has changed my way of thinking from this is who I am to this isnt who I have to be. I know that my anxiety is only the effect of inner wounds and its just a matter of healing those wounds. Putting a label on myself has only given me hope and as I work through my issues hope is what keeps me going everyday.

10-30-2009, 01:59 AM	#10 (permalink)
ImAboutToEXPLODE Status: baby you're a lost cause Join Date: Nov 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 1,661	Nope.I cant remember when i first heard the term "social anxiety", because it was such a non-event, means nothing.... __________________ i dunno man...who knows...ya know??

10-30-2009, 07:02 AM	#11 (permalink)
Trini Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 77	Yes, most definitely it has helped. It helps explains things and it helps push me to not do things the way I've always done them. Finding this board and seeing others out there with similiar issues also helps greatly. My husband has ADD and be it valid or not, he uses it as an excuse A LOT. I'm very much aware of that and have vowed to not use my disorder as an excuse.

10-30-2009, 07:16 AM	#12 (permalink)
pixies Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: England, UK Gender: Male Posts: 144	Being told I had Social Anxiety Disorder was a massive revelation to me. I all kinds of freaky problems and I never knew why. Im a way I was relieved to know what my problem is, and that it's a recognised thing with recognised treatments.. However at the same time, it was heart breaking news for me to learn that I have a serious illness and it's one with such an embarassing name... We all want to think of ourselves as popular, sociable people, but if I am to tell friends and family the truth about my behaviour... I have to tell them that I have a social problem. To me it's akin to telling them, "Yeah Brad Pitt, Beyonce, and all the cool kids of the world, they are super social centers of attention. Me though, I am incapable of even talking to people". It's an illness... but I'm sure people would judge me at being a loser for not learning to work in social situations like all the other normal people in the world. But maybe that's just my negative view of it. Some people at least, would appreciate it's an illness I'm sure. Attracting attention to me having a problem also made me feel worse. I have been quite unwell with this thing for the last year since I was diagnosed. I now get panic attacks and stuff, because although I'm better off for knowing.. I now am more nervous about social situations because I know I have a specific problem affecting me in them.. The positive of all this though, is that I know what I have, and I am motivated to beat the damn thing. It is screwing my life up and as someone else described in another thread here, playing the waiting game, waiting for the moment when you are going to be strong enough to beat it... it's a waste of time. It will never come. You have to throw caution to the wind and go out and do stuff. Meet people even if it's going somewhere on the bus for a change and asking someone the time. That post really pushed me. I've since told my friend I will go to the gym with him twice every week, and on another one or two nights I'm going to sign up to a night class in cooking or something. I know my enemy, I'm going to fight it now, and I'm not going to keep waiting to be in the right mood to fight it.

10-30-2009, 07:33 AM	#13 (permalink)
Dempsey Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Sydney Australia Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 636	I knew I was "shy", but I didn"t see shyness as a way of thinking. For some reason I didn"t consider that other people may think the same way I do in these situation. It was only after looking up "shyness" in wikipedia that I saw that it was a condition, a relatable phobia. After that I realised that my shyness counquered most of my life. A lot of things I can"t do or don"t do wasn"t just because of my personality, it was because my "shyness" was preventing any growth there. I became very depressed for a few weeks after I grew more and more aware of how much it affected me. Now I"m at the stage where I"m finally taking steps to help it, which wouldn"t have happened with out finding out about SAD. [edit] I just realised I wrote exactly what Pixies did. Damn.

10-30-2009, 10:54 AM	#15 (permalink)
Toad Licker Status: Broken Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: A Fruitloop Daydream Gender: Male Age: 44 Posts: 29,636	I don't think knowing really helps a lot except maybe for understanding somewhat what you are going through, though any help is good so... __________________ All will wither, go to sleep The ones you love you may not keep All you touch will fall apart The dreams you kill will break your heart There's no mercy, there's no rest The void will scream within your chest No one knows and no one will So leave this place that makes you Ill - Madder Mortem

10-31-2009, 06:03 PM	#16 (permalink)
illlaymedown Status: Miseria Cantare Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Mississippi Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 366	I'd like to do more things, but I have tons of issues besides SA to work with/through...I have faced it when I got the chance though and honestly, it's not so bad. I was TERRIFIED to work on a cash register about a month ago and I did it at my mom's job when they needed help one night. I felt AWESOME after doing it I also waited tables and answered the phone and was pretty comfy with it after an hour or so....the problem is finding a job in this economy and my family is not the best...I've written a little about them in my blogs. They hold me back a lot __________________ "I feel like a helpless puppet being manipulated in some major scheme."~ Squall Leonhart My avatar is my art...www.myspace.com/illlaymedown

10-31-2009, 06:11 PM	#17 (permalink)
zomgz Status: Wherever The Winds Fly Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Washington Gender: Male Age: 19 Posts: 600	All I know is it's so nice not to be alone in this =] __________________ Chained to the bottom of the ocean floor, it's like running underwater. Feel free to add me to: Myspace \| Facebook \| Mindviz

10-31-2009, 06:18 PM	#18 (permalink)
Fuzzy Logic Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: United Kingdom, Northern Ireland Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 312	I used to think I was just a freak of nature and that every other human being in the world found socialising easy and had friends. While other mental conditions are all over the media, I never saw anything that seemed like what I had. It was strange when I found out it is so common. Why isn't it more publicised? If it were more widely known I wouldn't have had to wait all those years to figure out what the hell was wrong with me. __________________ “There is but a thin line between madness and genius. I have been trying valiantly to cross it, but I don’t think I’m mad enough yet.”

11-01-2009, 07:04 PM	#19 (permalink)
Fajita Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: West Virginia Gender: Female Age: 29 Posts: 7	I think it has definitely helped me more than anything to know that there is a name for this problem and that there are other people out there that suffer from it too. All through school I was always the shyest, quietest person and I never understood why everything was so easy for everyone else and I just could not bring myself to talk. It wasn't until I ended up dropping out of college due to conditions I believe to be related to social anxiety that I finally did some research online and found out about this. Although I am still really shy, I have been taking steps to work on things and I now believe that there is actually hope that I can improve things.