Social Anxiety Support

nightwalker · 12-11-2008, 09:43 AM

I noticed that i'm good at making small talk with people. except thats the only thing i have the courage to do. after a few weeks, small talk get boring. i know. so people tend to not like talking to me anymore because all i know how to do is talk small talk but nothing more. I can't express myself. I can't express my personality. Thats what makes people special. but i can't do that. so people get bored of me because small talk/fake feelings is all i kno how to show.
Edit: well i go run out of things to say after like a few seconds of small talk. and sometimes i try to engage a convo by asking questions but they can't hear me or i always ask at the wrong moods/times and stuff. idk. its like i too conscious so idk wtf is going on.but yeah. my small talk isnt that good. but i still make it sometimes. but its just that i want to express myselfw hile making small talk. but i just can't..

i dont know.

TheVoid · 12-11-2008, 10:02 AM

well I have this issue and I feel for you

But are you sure they are bored with you? Because there are times I feel like people are not bored with me as much as I think they are. Sometimes they are just busy.

Come to think of it, most of us are generally not interested in each other in any special way so maybe we are just giving ourselves a hard time over it. For example I don't find anyone particularly interesting or boring so maybe it's the same for others don't you think?

shyvr6 · 12-11-2008, 10:12 AM

Usually people can't make small talk either so you're halfway there.

C.J. · 12-11-2008, 10:18 AM

hey you're ahead of the game. I can't even make small talk well. I can think of one or two things to say and then I run out. Give yourself credit for what you do do! Anyway, once you feel someone out and decide they're "safe" try opening up a little more and say something just a bit more personal than usual and see how it goes- you'll probably find a positive outcome which will encourange you more. I doubt people are bored of you. Considering we all have SA here, I bet most people can agree we all judge ourselves harshly and are very critical and dare I say paranoid. So you might think people are bored and really its in your head.

nightwalker · 12-11-2008, 01:08 PM

sometimes i run out of things to say or when i REALLY need to make small talk, it doesnt work or ppl dont listen. its embarrassing. and sometimes ppl dont hear me. btw. i edited my original post

12-11-2008, 09:43 AM	#1 (permalink)
nightwalker Status: confused and in pain Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Nowhere. I am lost in my soul. Gender: Female Posts: 921	Good at small talk but nothing more. I noticed that i'm good at making small talk with people. except thats the only thing i have the courage to do. after a few weeks, small talk get boring. i know. so people tend to not like talking to me anymore because all i know how to do is talk small talk but nothing more. I can't express myself. I can't express my personality. Thats what makes people special. but i can't do that. so people get bored of me because small talk/fake feelings is all i kno how to show. Edit: well i go run out of things to say after like a few seconds of small talk. and sometimes i try to engage a convo by asking questions but they can't hear me or i always ask at the wrong moods/times and stuff. idk. its like i too conscious so idk wtf is going on.but yeah. my small talk isnt that good. but i still make it sometimes. but its just that i want to express myselfw hile making small talk. but i just can't.. i dont know. __________________ Before: After:

12-11-2008, 10:12 AM	#3 (permalink)
shyvr6 Status: Makin Waves Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Somewhere on a map. Gender: Male Posts: 9,645	Usually people can't make small talk either so you're halfway there. __________________ Music

12-11-2008, 01:08 PM	#5 (permalink)
nightwalker Status: confused and in pain Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Nowhere. I am lost in my soul. Gender: Female Posts: 921	sometimes i run out of things to say or when i REALLY need to make small talk, it doesnt work or ppl dont listen. its embarrassing. and sometimes ppl dont hear me. btw. i edited my original post __________________ Before: After:

12-11-2008, 10:02 AM	#2 (permalink)
TheVoid Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 556	well I have this issue and I feel for you But are you sure they are bored with you? Because there are times I feel like people are not bored with me as much as I think they are. Sometimes they are just busy. Come to think of it, most of us are generally not interested in each other in any special way so maybe we are just giving ourselves a hard time over it. For example I don't find anyone particularly interesting or boring so maybe it's the same for others don't you think?

12-11-2008, 10:18 AM	#4 (permalink)
C.J. Status: SAS Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Wisconsin Gender: Female Posts: 51	hey you're ahead of the game. I can't even make small talk well. I can think of one or two things to say and then I run out. Give yourself credit for what you do do! Anyway, once you feel someone out and decide they're "safe" try opening up a little more and say something just a bit more personal than usual and see how it goes- you'll probably find a positive outcome which will encourange you more. I doubt people are bored of you. Considering we all have SA here, I bet most people can agree we all judge ourselves harshly and are very critical and dare I say paranoid. So you might think people are bored and really its in your head.