Getting overly-clingy with the people that DO talk to you - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-27-2012, 08:17 PM Thread Starter
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Getting overly-clingy with the people that DO talk to you

So, I have a problem with becoming too needy with people I socialize with. Especially girls. I get these intense urges to hug people and cuddle with people. It's mainly a physical distance sort of thing. Something about being so isolated my whole life makes me gush when I do get that comfort and attention. I just wish people were more open to physical affection sometimes. Sigh.
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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-27-2012, 08:56 PM
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I'm this way as well. I want to hug them, but my SA holds me back.

Also, any time I have a fulfilling conversation with someone I then can't get them out of my mind. For weeks. I think of what it would be like being their friend, doing activities together, etc. Its because I'm so desperate for any kind of connection.

Thats all it is, not really neediness, just wanting a connection.

I'm surprised though with this being an SA forum that you would feel comfortable giving people that kind of affection. I certainly don't mind receiving it. I did hate it though for 20 years. absolutely hated it. not anymore. Its the giving that I struggle with.

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post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-27-2012, 09:04 PM
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Yes. And I mostly hate those suckers who know this and still want to be my "friends" just to leave me.
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post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-27-2012, 09:09 PM
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Hmm, I kind of feel this way too, especially when I'm stuck in a situation where I don't know the group of people I'm surrounded with very well. People who actually engage in conversation with me - and seem to enjoy my company - I always feel I go overboard with trying to get their approval and get them to want to continue the conversation.

It's then a super downer when they either stray to talk to other people or suddenly seem to become disinterested.

With friends, I tend to be a little clingy and overly friendly sometimes too. Seems some people can take it and some can't...don't let it discourage you.
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post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-27-2012, 10:06 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Julietta View Post

It's then a super downer when they either stray to talk to other people or suddenly seem to become disinterested.

With friends, I tend to be a little clingy and overly friendly sometimes too. Seems some people can take it and some can't...don't let it discourage you.
This. And sometimes the people that can't take it are the ones you want to the most. Gah.

Yeah, I mean when I'm in a good mood I really want to hug people. All the time. Like I would start a club where alls you did was hug. I could hug someone for an hour. Hugs are lovely. And women are lovely, and contact is lovely. I dig it right up.
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post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-27-2012, 10:10 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by valgal123 View Post
I'm this way as well. I want to hug them, but my SA holds me back.

I'm surprised though with this being an SA forum that you would feel comfortable giving people that kind of affection. I certainly don't mind receiving it. I did hate it though for 20 years. absolutely hated it. not anymore. Its the giving that I struggle with.
Yeah I wouldn't have been okay with that kind of affection when I was younger, but now I crave it. And I'm totally open to it. I'm actually a very laid back and open person, but secretly social anxiety holds me back a lot.
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post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-28-2012, 01:19 AM
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I have the opposite problem, I don't mind people slapping me on the shoulder or hugging me, but if they want to hang out all the time I wish they'd go away I feel like my emotions are broken.
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post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-28-2012, 01:25 AM
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I have the opposite problem when it comes to people who want to talk to me. I kind of get bored of talking and try to detach myself from that person.


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post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-28-2012, 03:41 AM
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I'm not sure if I could answer for myself. My clingy is someone elses indifferent.

I never usually initiate any contact physical or otherwise. Never know how to react it's so lame. -_-

Hmm I remember there was a song by linkin park with that line...


Ah it was "slow to react"
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post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-28-2012, 03:46 AM
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I'm the same. Hugs are amazing. In fact, i'd travel all the way to North Carolina just to hug you haha!
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