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Old 06-18-2011, 09:58 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default Getting blamed for things you didn't do...

Do you ever get blamed for things that you never actually did?

I work at a fast food place, and whenever the manager sees something wrong, he only tells me and no one else. If someone makes a mistake, he's the one who blames me. I'd say about 90% of the things I get blamed for, I never really did. It's always the other employees.

The worst part is that I stand there and take it. I can never tell him that it wasn't me because I get scared that I'm going to get fired for talking back at the manager. I always come home and think of all the possible things I could've said to defend myself while I was in the situation, but I never do it. I have to grow a back bone, but it's hard.

I also get the feeling that I'll soon get fired because he always thinks it's me that makes the mistakes, but he doesn't realize that it's not me at all.

I want this all to change! It's hard because I'm pretty shy and have never really stood up for myself before. Can you relate or give out any advice?
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Old 06-18-2011, 10:00 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Do you think this is an honest mistake your boss is making, or is he a jerk all around?
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Old 06-18-2011, 10:03 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by surrender to nothing View Post
Do you think this is an honest mistake your boss is making, or is he a jerk all around?
It's hard to tell. I mean, no body really likes him. He's certainly not anybody's favorite manager. I've heard people quit because of him and that he's not well liked. I just don't know how to get him off my back.
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Old 06-18-2011, 10:18 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Tell him calmly, that it seems to you that the majority of the mistakes being made are falling on your shoulders, even though, much of the time you are not involved.

Interpersonal Effectiveness
How To Be Assertive

His attitude toward you could be in part, due to your lack of assertiveness, which he is taking advantage of.
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Old 06-19-2011, 10:18 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
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It's basically my job to get blamed for things I didn't do or don't have any control over. I work retail in the electronics department and constantly have to take the blame for my co-workers mistakes, my inept management and the company's stupid policies. I can put up with it to a certain degree, but if a customer gets too rude and starts blaming me personally, I get heated.

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I always come home and think of all the possible things I could've said to defend myself while I was in the situation, but I never do it.
I can relate. I'm never good in the heat of the moment. I always think of something good or clever to say after the fact .

In your situation, just let your manager know that you aren't responsible for the problems. You don't have to be angry about it, just do it in a respectful manner. He may just be looking for a scapegoat. If you stand up for yourself, he may realize he can't pin everything on you.
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Old 06-19-2011, 10:27 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Scapegoats-R-Us...

I tend to get blamed for things done by others because my self-esteem is too low for me to go defend myself...

Surrender to Nothing links are good. I think most of us here need much more assertiveness and self-esteem therapy/training because it seems to contribute much to SAD.
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Old 06-19-2011, 10:48 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
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There is a lady I cover for on her days off or on days she needs to work on something else. I've made mistakes here and there, especially when I first started, but not as many as she perceives. She's a bit flighty and sometimes I think she blames me for mistakes that she may have made while she's reconciling the spreadsheet we use. She's a nice lady, and I don't think she's being callous, but it's beginning to bug me.

Getting blamed the way you are at your job would piss me off. Like you, however, I would probably not say much either. I don't know how you would prove that you didn't make the mistake really. Your boss is likely an idiot.
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Old 06-19-2011, 02:47 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Fast food managers can be tricky. It's possible to get along with them most of the time but you have to have a forgiving nature, a good sense of humor and you have to be willing to put up with it when they get nasty for no other reason than that they're having a bad day. They'll take it out on whoever will put up with it.
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Old 06-19-2011, 03:13 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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I have to deal with it at home. Brother does so much wrong, but I get yelled at by my parents for it for some reason.
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Old 06-19-2011, 05:17 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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There are always certain people who give me crap I don't need. Certain people would blame me for the Spanish Inquisition if they could. Nothing to do but avoid them.
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Old 06-19-2011, 05:29 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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That's really cruel. But freezing and not saying anything about it is the worst thing you can do. And what do your co workers say about this? They just let it happen and don't take the blame that they deserve?
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Old 06-21-2011, 02:49 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tigerblood View Post
That's really cruel. But freezing and not saying anything about it is the worst thing you can do. And what do your co workers say about this? They just let it happen and don't take the blame that they deserve?
Part of it is that they mess up and then walk away. Then I happen to walk by the mess and so does the manager and sees me by the mistakes and assumes I'm the one who made them. I'm always there at the wrong time. Just my luck...
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