For the 20 Somethings

[Youandwe]

Hey guys! I'm 21 and I'm new to this site, so I just wanted to know a bit about some of your experiences with SA and how it's affecting your life.

[numero1]

Well in addition to a lack of a social life I have acne which actually just got worse due to a prescription topical acne medication. So my life isn't going anywhere where I want it to go.

[Franky]

Hi welcome to the site!

I'm 24 and social anxiety has really affected my life. I was always shy growing up and i thought I would grow out of it, but I just didn't and I realised something was up a few years a go and realised it was social anxiety.

I don't have many friends and have trouble meeting people. I also had to quit my job because I wasn't talking enough in the office, so it's stuffing up my career too. So yeah I had to move back home and I'm just trying to battle through the anxiety.

[Complicated45]

Ugh, it affects me to no end.. how are you supposed to cope? Anxiety stops me from doing so much. Whenever I go out anywhere I just work myself up.. even though I know that it's not going to be near as bad as what I make it out to be in my head. Because I'm so shy I just panic about meeting new people because I always find it so hard to maintain conversation. It's so discouraging. So often I wish I had more confidence...

[Prakas]

Added to a lifetime of badluck and depression, its been hard. I'm Barely able to fight it anymore. I don't have anything going for me, and barely making it through college.

No life
No real friends since I was 10 or so
No motivation
No confidence or self-esteem

Don't think I can continue this post...

[94hours]

Oh boy, where to begin. I'll guess I'll start with my professional life. I recently had an internship which actually went pretty well. I was always real nervous around my co-workers and boss, and had trouble talking to them either on a professional or personal level. It never effected my work though, because I had my own workspace and was able to do whatever was assigned to me on my own. No doubt when I got graded by my boss, I had all high remarks outside of communication, which I scored a 2/5. Everyday I felt uncomfortable.

Socially, in the past, I'd only go out when I was drunk. I'm trying to cut down on that because that's not good for my health. Now unless I'm going to class or the gym(which actually is a major boost), I don't get out much. Luckily, I have great friends from highschool that have stood with me throughout all of this. When I'm around new people I act like an ***hole to try to hide the awkwardness. I could go on and on about how anxiety affects my social life, but I'd ramble on forever.

[Peter Attis]

Meh.

[Alys]

I'm 21 too and also in college...SA is really affecting my relationships with people and it's making it very difficult to start and continue conversations with people I don't know. But as long as I don't give up I know I will get better...we need to push ourselves. And don't be so discouraged I'm certain you have many things to be thankful for even if they seem minor and I know you can have many more in the future.

[ohpewp]

It sucks and people expect you to work and drive and cook and be a real person, but at least it's not high school.

[Prakas]

The first time I saw my physch. he said SA won't kill me. I guess thats a positive,though I wish it would sometimes.

[illlaymedown]

I have a few friends, but I don't think they actually enjoy being around me. People really don't understand me and tend to think I hate them when I don't. Only had one relationship and he broke up with me cus of my SA and other related/semi-related issues. I get so nervous around people that sometimes I say way more than I should cus I feel I need to keep the convo going or they won't like me or I don't talk at all and then they think I'm bored.....lose lose situation. I got a 2yr art degree, but I dropped out of the 4 yr cus it was too far from home and I didn't know anyone and was all alone and had a huge panic attack(made my mom come get me that night, only went one day)...Every guy I actually like ends up not talking to me anymore I found this great guy that fits most of everything I could ask for and I just know I'll never hear from him again and it's been a month since we last talked I also have a sucky disfunctional family too though and they don't support or help me any. 23 and I haven't had a real job yet...it took me years to get up the courage to get baptized. I'm also terrified of driving. I worry incessantly about what the other drivers are thinking about me and I freak out if someone gets behind me, but I've gotten better in this part

[dullard]

I am twenty-one. My SA was terrible from around the age of twelve to the beginning of this year. I had a tendency to stay inside all the time and sit at the computer for most of the day. I put off school partially because of SA and partially because I wanted to figure out what I wanted to do. Haha I suppose that worked out in my favour because what I had initially wanted to go to school for does not appeal to me at all now. I have a small group of friends who were used to my quietness but almost all of them have moved to start new lives. I am on my own most of the time because I haven't made many more local friends.

Onto the good things; this site actually motivated me to start living my life. Seeing the number of people here ten, twenty years older than me having the same problems gave me a much needed push. Early this year I travelled Brazil and Argentina for two months. I took a couple months at home and then spent three months exploring Canada (to be fair, one and a half months were spent in Toronto). I must say that the forced exposure from those trips and the new environments have really helped my SA dramatically. I am now in a relationship with the most wonderful woman I have ever met and am moving to Toronto in the spring. I can honestly say that this has been the best year of my life.

[sky is falling]

Originally Posted by Complicated45

...I always find it so hard to maintain conversation. It's so discouraging. So often I wish I had more confidence...

I think a lot of us can relate to that. Those two things are something I personally struggle with daily... I didn't always have SA so I have friends who know me like I use to be but still it would be really nice to be able to go to school/work and not find ways to make myself invisible, to be able to talk to people and not feel below everyone else.

I'm in college and those couple of days of class are horrible. I work myself up and play out all these things that could happen, that have never happened but I cannot let go of it. I've been to almost every class yet I still find myself dreading them when I wake up, after hours of me getting all worked up I finally make it to class, set down and then worry about getting called on, called up to the front or the teacher putting us in groups.. I will never, ever like group work.

As for my job, thankfully I've got a awesome bro-n-law who I work for. He knows I have SA so he is usually encouraging me to be more outgoing and finding ways to put me in situations where I have to talk.

[chunkylover53]

I'm at the tail end of my twenties. Basically, I've been up, down, up, down, semi-functional, functional... and now completely non-functional. I have a friend who is a doctor and she has given me useful recommendations to help me make the first move in getting things back together, but I'm hesitating on the precipice at this stage.

[veron]

Welcome to SAS

Originally Posted by Prakas

No life
No real friends since I was 10 or so
No motivation
No confidence or self-esteem

To answer your question, this pretty much sums me up. I guess there are various degrees of SA you'll find on here, lol.

[CrashMedicate]

Welcome to the site! Well at the age of 24 I've come to realize that it's only going to affect me as much as I let it affect me. When I give in to the evil voices in my head that say "don't you dare say hi or make eye contact with that person" I often find myself isolated from society. When I push myself to step out of my comfort zone and extend myself to people, I often find that they're willing to chat with me and get to know me.

I recently decided to start being more proactive in fighting off SA, and in a couple of short weeks I've already made a few work friends by simply saying "hi" as we passed. Forcing myself to do this made me realize how irrational my thinking patterns are, and now I have much more confidence with people.

I made it past that hurdle, so the next step for me is learning how to come out of my shell and be myself, which is working out really well. I had quite a good time at work yesterday, laughing and joking around with about 3 or 4 other coworkers.

You'll get it if you fight for it. Best wishes.

[Youandwe]

Hey guys thanks for the replies! It's so good to hear from you all about your experiences, a lot of which I can relate to. It's feels good to know I'm not the only one (although I'm not glad you guys have SA).

[secretlyshecries]

Well, I feel like I can never really be myself. Not when I'm around people anyway. I'm always worrying what people are thinking about me, I'm really paranoid about embarrassing myself.. I feel so awkward a great deal of the time.

All my friends have slipped away. There are people I hear from every now and then but none of them feel like real friends. I feel like I don't have enough confidence in life to go for the things I want.

[glarmph]

I'm 25, have had SA for the past 13 years, it gets a little worse every day. Just trying to make it to the next day at this point.

[quietgal]

Welcome

I'm 23, and at that age where I'm supposed to be learning to become "independent," which in this society bascially means shifting your dependence on family and parents, to friends, peers, professors, mentors, professional networks, significant others, etc. It's a stressful and harrowing period for everyone, let alone people with SA who often don't have the benefit of friends and support networks that most people rely on to get through the tough parts in life.