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Old 09-18-2009, 04:02 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default Fear of reading emails

For some odd reason, I've developed this fear of opening up e-mails. I always expect some bad news or some stressful situation I don't want to deal with...usually with my professors or clients.

It gets me into trouble alot, especially when I muster the courage to open up the email at the very last minute possible...usually during the end of the day or week. And then, low and behold, I miss some deadline.

I was wondering if its just me or if anyone else here has that problem; what do you do about it?
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Old 09-18-2009, 06:19 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
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I have the same problem, and an even bigger problem composing emails. It does really affect my work performance. For me, it's not even that it has to be negative - I'm afraid it will require me to do something (make a call, etc.) that will be extremely stressful and difficult. As far as how to deal with it - I usually try to psych myself up, and set times when I'll force myself to check emails despite how nervous I am. Depending on how busy I am it could be once an hour or a couple times during the day.

I'm experimenting with writing down the outcomes of what I'm afraid of at work, and that seems to help relieve some anxiety for me. What I'm afraid of rarely matches reality, so every time I check emails (or send one that makes me nervous) I write it down and then later record the outcome. To see on paper that 95% of the time there was nothing to worry about makes it a little easier to counter my fears.

But you recognize the most important thing: what's actually causing you problems is avoiding checking emails and the feeling of fear you're getting, not the content of the emails.
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Old 09-18-2009, 07:05 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaso View Post
For some odd reason, I've developed this fear of opening up e-mails. I always expect some bad news or some stressful situation I don't want to deal with...usually with my professors or clients.

It gets me into trouble a lot, especially when I muster the courage to open up the email at the very last minute possible...usually during the end of the day or week. And then, low and behold, I miss some deadline.
I have that exact problem with the profs. and everything......For me, I was in the process of trying to transfer the school that I'm at now, in late 2008-early2009 and it took days for me open each email from the transfer coordinator, financial person, everyone, and at one point, I got the not so good news in one email that I would have to apply to the school all over again(application, essay, portfolio, financial forms, everything), and then I emailed her and she said to call her to discuss it further but I ignored her, and I actually didn't communicate with her for a whole THREE MONTHS cuz I was so afraid of what would happen!

After that I got the nerve to email her though with a couple questions and you know what?

It turns out the reason she had wanted to discuss over the phone is because she had the good news that the school was gonna grant me an exception to the new policy of reapplying, so I did nothing and was afraid for 3 months for no reason!

And I am still afraid of opening emails but now I can't afford to ignore them so I usually open them on the day they come-But back home in Maryland during summer break, I just had my 10 year old little brother read e'm and tell me if it was good news or bad news and then I'd read it myself.
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Old 09-18-2009, 08:11 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Yeah, I have the same problem.
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Old 09-18-2009, 08:35 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
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I have this problem too. One time after I applied for a job online I avoided checking my e-mail for a couple of weeks out of fear.
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Old 09-18-2009, 10:57 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
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I get nervous if I'm anticipating hate mail from a friend, or if I'm e-mailing back and forth with co-workers (about work related things).
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Old 09-18-2009, 12:46 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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I get this way sometimes. I guess it depends on who is sending me the email.
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Old 09-22-2009, 09:25 AM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Yeah I just realised. I don't normally get that many emails but when I'm expecting something I just realised I'm really nervous, can't look directly at the screen. I'm kind of the same with posts and pm's on here.
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Old 09-22-2009, 03:17 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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I'm like this too. I thought I was the only one. Sometimes I'll open up an email with my hand over the screen so I can just peek at the first few words. Haha.
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Old 09-22-2009, 04:06 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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I can't pick up the phone or open emails. If the phone has a really loud ringtone, than I cover my ears with my hands. I think that this is probably a common trait and alot of people have the same problem.
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Old 09-22-2009, 04:25 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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I feel like I've been on the phone all afternoon, and I'm stressed and ready for a nap. I do, however, feel I've accomplished a lot today!

E-mails- I open them but I'm nervous about some, mostly when it's info. about my kids.
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Old 09-26-2009, 09:42 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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I thought I was the only one! Any time I get a personal e-mail from someone, I immediately get that nervous feeling. Especially if it's from a professor or someone who is in some kind of management position. I feel the same way about phone calls and IM's. I guess I just figure it's going to be bad news or some kind of rejection.
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Old 09-26-2009, 11:34 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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I sent an e-mail for someone looking for artists, and felt all nervous and stupid for sending it after... Now i'm stressing out about it and life in general. -.-
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Old 09-29-2009, 04:58 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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i have SA but why the fùckz are you afraid to just read some stupid e'mails
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Old 09-29-2009, 10:13 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigrobt View Post
i have SA but why the fùckz are you afraid to just read some stupid e'mails
That's what we want to know! lol But then, the whole thing with SA is that very little of it makes any sense. For the most part it's just a long list of irrational fears we can't control. But I'm glad that you don't have this side of SA...it's a pain, trust me.
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Old 09-29-2009, 11:07 PM   #16 (permalink)
 
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Last year we got email where I work. Many will find that surprising, but this is the UP of Michigan change comes slowly. I just hate getting a message, because it is always someone griping about how I didn't do this, didn't do it correctly, etc.
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Old 09-30-2009, 04:12 AM   #17 (permalink)
 
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I have that problem with opening e-mails. I really don't like to look in my inbox, even though I only receive e-mails from two people; my Aunt and my friend Steve. They wouldn't send me anything negative... but it still is kind of stressful. That's why I take so long getting back to them.
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Old 09-30-2009, 09:01 AM   #18 (permalink)
 
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This is so crazy but I do this as well.
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Old 10-08-2011, 11:16 AM   #19 (permalink)
 
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Wow, I looked this up on google and I can't believe other people experience this as well.
-I sent an email to to my professor because I needed to address some concerns. I didn't check for a reply for four days.
-I sent an email to this guy I dated for a couple months. I didn't tell him issues I had until a week after I broke it off then I finally felt comfortable telling him about his inappropriate behavior because I was too shy to bring it up and didn't want to cause conflict. I sent email and its been days and afraid to read reply.
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Old 10-08-2011, 12:22 PM   #20 (permalink)
 
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yup! I usually have to have something open in another window, so I can open the email, then click away fast, click back to the email and read a bit, click away, click back, click away, click back, phew email done. I didn't even realize I was doing this for a very long time, so now I'm just forcing myself to sit there and tough it out LOL

I have gotten a LOT of bad news through email, but I did this long before any of that so I wonder what the heck my problemo is
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