Social Anxiety Support

GlueEater · 02-21-2007, 11:31 PM

I think one of the biggest set backs of SA with me is just being able to change as you wish. It's like I have the same haircut I've had since probably 5th grade, just because I"m afraid people will notice it. And from my insecurity about being able to change, I go around telling people "you're a tool for changing your look just to meet what's 'cool'" and that just makes it harder for me to be able to change. Because I don't want to be known as the person who's against something and suddenly be it the next day. My clothes are basically jeans with any combination of t-shirt. My friend would go and buy all these clothes that are 'cool' (I don't even know anymore) and I'd lash out at him, almost made and called him a drone etc.

Which makes me thing of something else, that bothers me just as much. Am I am who I really am or is it all just because I"m too afraid to do anything? I mean I see all these extro-verted idiots and I hate them, but do I really hate them or am I jealous?

winduptoy · 02-23-2007, 03:50 PM

I don't want people to notice I've changed, either, but for me it's mostly because I don't want them to notice me at all. . .

mgb_apparitions · 02-23-2007, 04:27 PM

I was like that a lot when I was younger.

ColdFury · 02-23-2007, 06:53 PM

Change gives me major anxiety

Twilight Zelda · 02-23-2007, 07:39 PM

Change can be nerve racking for me but "I'll get used to it". That's what I try to tell myself.

aznboi719 · 02-23-2007, 08:10 PM

yeah this is diffinitely MY BIGGEST FEAR

i dont want to change because people would noticed that i have changed

and they would judge me for that!

thats what deter me from changing

Failure · 02-23-2007, 08:43 PM

I hate change.

loner2389 · 02-24-2007, 02:05 AM

Yes, I dont like change because people treat you differently.

Razorblade Kiss · 02-24-2007, 03:21 AM

I'm not afraid of that kind of change, like trying a new look. I don't care what people think when it comes to that.

I have a fear of changing certain things in my life. I've been at this job I hate for 6 years. As much as I hate it, I'm used to the people I work with and everything else. I'm afraid to step out of my comfort zone and try something new. My ex friend changed jobs like the wind. It's because they were ****ty jobs, but at least she was able to move on to something else when she needed to. I wish I was like that. I don't want to be stuck. I want to be able to move on.

elephant_girl · 02-24-2007, 06:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by winduptoy

I don't want people to notice I've changed, either, but for me it's mostly because I don't want them to notice me at all. . .

same here.

VerbalHologram · 02-24-2007, 09:26 AM

highschool i wouldn't get haircuts cause i didn't want to be the center of attention in class by people pointing out my new cut.

02-24-2007, 08:27 PM

Its weird, I'm always afraid that someone will notice I changed. I started at a new school overseas and thought it would be a new start and actually go out and meet new people, but as always i'm having a very hard time meeting people, but when some old classmates come around me I just can't talk because it would be change from what they know of me. Like I said it weird.

Softy785 · 02-24-2007, 10:48 PM

So if I'm understanding you right, you're not sure if you don't want to change because you want to rebel against culture and what's "cool", or because you're afraid of people noticing that you've changed. If you come to the realization that you want to change some aspects of your look or personality, but haven't done so because of fear of what other people think, then I challenge you to examine that irrational fear and do something about it. Who cares if people notice that you've changed something about yourself? It doesn't matter what they think! It really is no big deal at all. But, if it is a positive change, then other people may respond to you in a better way anyway! So go ahead and change whatever you want to change. It doesn't have to be drastic or all at once. You can take gradual steps to change. That's what I have done. Whenever I have made changes to my clothing/hair style, personality, etc. they have always been very slow and gradual. But you should go ahead and do whatever it is you want to do. You are entitled to look, act, speak, etc however you want. You are not to be held accountable to anyone. Good luck!

GlueEater · 02-25-2007, 01:09 PM

Well yeah that' what I've been doing too. Very slow gradual change. For example just getting my hair cut at incresingly shorter intervals. lol I joke with myself that it's phsycological desensitizing.

AllieM · 02-25-2007, 04:31 PM

idk y but ive kindve always liked switching up my "look".. it makes me happy when people actually notice and pay compliment

02-21-2007, 11:31 PM	#1 (permalink)
GlueEater Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Age: 81 Posts: 192	Fear of change...or notice of change I think one of the biggest set backs of SA with me is just being able to change as you wish. It's like I have the same haircut I've had since probably 5th grade, just because I"m afraid people will notice it. And from my insecurity about being able to change, I go around telling people "you're a tool for changing your look just to meet what's 'cool'" and that just makes it harder for me to be able to change. Because I don't want to be known as the person who's against something and suddenly be it the next day. My clothes are basically jeans with any combination of t-shirt. My friend would go and buy all these clothes that are 'cool' (I don't even know anymore) and I'd lash out at him, almost made and called him a drone etc. Which makes me thing of something else, that bothers me just as much. Am I am who I really am or is it all just because I"m too afraid to do anything? I mean I see all these extro-verted idiots and I hate them, but do I really hate them or am I jealous?

02-23-2007, 03:50 PM	#2 (permalink)
winduptoy Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: CA Age: 27 Posts: 297	re: Fear of change...or notice of change I don't want people to notice I've changed, either, but for me it's mostly because I don't want them to notice me at all. . . __________________ Don't miss your chance to swim in mystery.

02-23-2007, 04:27 PM	#3 (permalink)
mgb_apparitions Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 160	re: Fear of change...or notice of change I was like that a lot when I was younger.

02-23-2007, 06:53 PM	#4 (permalink)
ColdFury Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Gender: Male Posts: 20,789	re: Fear of change...or notice of change Change gives me major anxiety __________________ just one more song to slay this earth and i can't explain myself just what it's worth it was all i had, but not all i'd need and i can't escape the fact that i still bleed

02-23-2007, 07:39 PM	#5 (permalink)
Twilight Zelda Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 15	re: Fear of change...or notice of change Change can be nerve racking for me but "I'll get used to it". That's what I try to tell myself.

02-23-2007, 08:10 PM	#6 (permalink)
aznboi719 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 56	yeah this is diffinitely MY BIGGEST FEAR i dont want to change because people would noticed that i have changed and they would judge me for that! thats what deter me from changing

02-23-2007, 08:43 PM	#7 (permalink)
Failure Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 265	re: Fear of change...or notice of change I hate change.

02-24-2007, 02:05 AM	#8 (permalink)
loner2389 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 163	re: Fear of change...or notice of change Yes, I dont like change because people treat you differently.

02-24-2007, 03:21 AM	#9 (permalink)
Razorblade Kiss Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Dancing on the corpse's ashes Age: 29 Posts: 3,686	re: Fear of change...or notice of change I'm not afraid of that kind of change, like trying a new look. I don't care what people think when it comes to that. I have a fear of changing certain things in my life. I've been at this job I hate for 6 years. As much as I hate it, I'm used to the people I work with and everything else. I'm afraid to step out of my comfort zone and try something new. My ex friend changed jobs like the wind. It's because they were **ty jobs, but at least she was able to move on to something else when she needed to. I wish I was like that. I don't want to be stuck. I want to be able to move on. __________________ Still I send all the time My request for relief Down the dead power lines Though I'm beyond belief In the help I require Just to exist at all Took a long time to stand Took an hour to fall Elliott Smith**

02-24-2007, 09:26 AM	#11 (permalink)
VerbalHologram Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 301	re: Fear of change...or notice of change highschool i wouldn't get haircuts cause i didn't want to be the center of attention in class by people pointing out my new cut. __________________ Don't be scared just be prepared for the worst

02-24-2007, 08:27 PM	#12 (permalink)
Status: Guest Posts: n/a	re: Fear of change...or notice of change Its weird, I'm always afraid that someone will notice I changed. I started at a new school overseas and thought it would be a new start and actually go out and meet new people, but as always i'm having a very hard time meeting people, but when some old classmates come around me I just can't talk because it would be change from what they know of me. Like I said it weird.

02-24-2007, 10:48 PM	#13 (permalink)
Softy785 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Orange County, CA Gender: Female Age: 28 Posts: 587	So if I'm understanding you right, you're not sure if you don't want to change because you want to rebel against culture and what's "cool", or because you're afraid of people noticing that you've changed. If you come to the realization that you want to change some aspects of your look or personality, but haven't done so because of fear of what other people think, then I challenge you to examine that irrational fear and do something about it. Who cares if people notice that you've changed something about yourself? It doesn't matter what they think! It really is no big deal at all. But, if it is a positive change, then other people may respond to you in a better way anyway! So go ahead and change whatever you want to change. It doesn't have to be drastic or all at once. You can take gradual steps to change. That's what I have done. Whenever I have made changes to my clothing/hair style, personality, etc. they have always been very slow and gradual. But you should go ahead and do whatever it is you want to do. You are entitled to look, act, speak, etc however you want. You are not to be held accountable to anyone. Good luck!

02-25-2007, 01:09 PM	#14 (permalink)
GlueEater Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Age: 81 Posts: 192	re: Fear of change...or notice of change Well yeah that' what I've been doing too. Very slow gradual change. For example just getting my hair cut at incresingly shorter intervals. lol I joke with myself that it's phsycological desensitizing.

02-25-2007, 04:31 PM	#15 (permalink)
AllieM Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Age: 23 Posts: 113	re: Fear of change...or notice of change idk y but ive kindve always liked switching up my "look".. it makes me happy when people actually notice and pay compliment __________________ http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm...ndID=199525332

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Things are never going to change. I'm never going to change...	thepretender	Frustration	10	12-28-2009 01:00 AM
Do you fear change?	rcapo89	Coping With Social Anxiety	10	08-28-2009 07:19 AM
I need a change...any change!	formaltide	Coping With Social Anxiety	7	03-20-2009 08:48 PM
Zoloft for SAD? How long before I hopefully notice a change?	John12	Medication	3	02-17-2009 06:18 AM
Fear of change	Clivh07	Coping With Social Anxiety	8	06-12-2007 10:24 AM