Originally Posted by suzyQ555
I don't know if I have an official diagnosis of SAD, but I do know that I keep running into the same problem everytime I start a new job. Everyone is nice to me at first, but soon after, I am basically excluded from any friendly conversations. No one ever takes any interest in me or asks me anything about myself. When I try to join in a conversation, I am often given an angry look that seems to say that I am not welcome to join in the conversation. They might let me finish my sentence, but then they ignore me and continue talking to the other person.
I try to smile and be friendly to everyone I meet. I try to take an interest in each person to get to know them, but they show no interest in me or my life. I feel like I'm in middle school or high school all over again. I know I shouldn't care what they think and I should just do my job and stop trying to gain their acceptance, but it is such a painful feeling. I can't figure out why this keeps happening to me. I like my job (I work in a medical practice) and working with patients, but it hurts to be left out and to feel that they don't like me.
Hmmm, it's indeed kind of difficult to determine what is going on here without actually seeing you in action, so to speak.
Do you actually have something in common with these people, though??? The problem with coworkers of course is that you never picked
these people yourself, contrary to your friends! Just because you do the same type of work doesn't mean you are also compatible in other ways. You do mention you always run into this problem at work (although "always" can sound more dramatic than it is. I mean how MANY times have you really had this problem before?) But if it does happen a lot, then it might be something else, although not sure what.
Are you very shy? Do you feel afraid of being judged? Do you like yourself? Do you worry about saying the wrong thing?
Smiling and being friendly is very good, but unfortunately it's not enough. The above things can turn people off, as sad as that may be, but insecurity reminds people of their OWN insecurities and can make them like you less. It's like people feel what YOU feel. So if you feel nervous, uncertain, afraid of being judged, that is how you will make OTHERS feel in your presence. And if you feel relaxed, not worried about saying something stupid, not caring what someone else thinks of you, then others start feeling the same way around YOU.
This may be hard to hear for people who do NOT feel relaxed around others, but it's the truth. I know it can suck big time, but it's just how it is. Think about how when you are around someone who is very excited, for example, that often rubs off on you, and you start to feel some of those same emotions. In contrast, when you are around someone who is incredibly boring and bored with life, YOU will start to feel that!
So maybe (and I stress the word maybe here!) there is some vibethat you are sending out that is turning them off. I hope not, and it could also just be that these people are not compatible with you at all, different interests, life philosophies etc.