Today was awful. I don't know why i sort of get excited before a family shindig, but always feel like **** afterwards; drained. I'm thinking about distancing myself a bit, because my brother really gets me worked up. I stopped trying today; i mean, i like to make the effort to catch up because time flies in this life, but even people i haven't seen in a while act like i'm bothering them. okay, **** it. I heard the laughter about something, but when i walked in, it sort of broke up, and everyone scattered. I don't know what else to do. My immediate family is ok, but the kids and couples don't know what to do around me. Ahh, i don't know, it was just good to come home.