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Old 05-10-2011, 09:24 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default Even little things can set me off

So, I was at Walmart today, looking for distilled water to use for ironing my clothes. Couldn't find it in the automotive section, which is where I had always found it before. Asked a saleswoman, she said to look in the pharmacy section. Asked there, was told to look where the bottled drinking water is. Hello? It's not for drinking. Anyway, that started the usual snowball effect. I felt embarrassed in front of my boyfriend because, as usual, I seem to be clueless. I'm clueless, which feeds into my feeling stupid and inferior and unattractive and just generally a failure as a human being, and a waste of oxygen, living space, toilet paper, carbon, everything. Nobody but a total loser would allow themselves to get so upset over something so insignificant. If I'm such a loser, and I've known I'm a loser but have been living in denial, I should just take my boxcutter and finally slit my throat, which is what I think about doing every day. Screw it. I'm so tired of being so stupid and ****ed up.
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Old 05-10-2011, 09:44 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Sometimes I think the only reason I haven't done "something stupid" is out of spite of my SA. But I'm not going to give up and neither should you. Be strong.
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Old 05-10-2011, 10:53 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Don't give up just because you encountered some stupid salespeople.
And don't label yourself as a total loser, I'm sure your boyfriend doesn't think he is dating a total loser. You have tremendous value.
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Old 05-10-2011, 03:00 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Hi Stormclouds,

Sounds like distorted thinking about the event got you feeling bad. I do the negative internal self talk like you do.

I just spent the morning poking around You Tube and other places on these problems to help myself. Here are some helpful links, if you are interested.

Look at what you said to yourself and check this list at www.traumaawareness.org/id56.html
"16 Styles of Distorted Thinking"

There are different types of therapies and self-help that you can do to counter these negative thoughts. Some You Tube links:

What is Cognitive Therapy? (part 1) with Dr. Robert L. Leahy
youtu.be/gdFovvVJpr8

Possible Causes of Social Anxiety
youtu.be/tB98UvUb_PA
Victoria Lorient-Faibish
askvictoria: holistic psychotherapist

Ask Victoria: Tools to Cope With Social Anxiety
youtu.be/4yKUYl9I1yU


Emotional Freedom Technique: Neutralize Difficult Emotions
youtu.be/P7kL6luD_aU
Victoria Lorient-Faibish
askvictoria: holistic psychotherapist


You really need to be kind to yourself. You aren't as bad as your inner critic says you are, I can guarantee that.
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Old 05-10-2011, 06:37 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Thanks to everyone who replied. FMF, I really do have a lot of those distorted thinking patterns that were listed in the link. I've thought that way for as long as I can remember. I hope that I can break those patterns. Thanks again
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Old 05-10-2011, 06:49 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Try not to blame yourself. Blame Walmart, if it's anything like the ones I've been to they constantly are rearranging the whole store causing a normal shopping trip into a distorted scavenger hunt. I can never find anything there because they always are moving stuff around or discontinuing shelf space for certain items.
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Old 05-10-2011, 07:27 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stormclouds View Post
So, I was at Walmart today, looking for distilled water to use for ironing my clothes. Couldn't find it in the automotive section, which is where I had always found it before. Asked a saleswoman, she said to look in the pharmacy section. Asked there, was told to look where the bottled drinking water is. Hello? It's not for drinking. Anyway, that started the usual snowball effect. I felt embarrassed in front of my boyfriend because, as usual, I seem to be clueless. I'm clueless, which feeds into my feeling stupid and inferior and unattractive and just generally a failure as a human being, and a waste of oxygen, living space, toilet paper, carbon, everything. Nobody but a total loser would allow themselves to get so upset over something so insignificant. If I'm such a loser, and I've known I'm a loser but have been living in denial, I should just take my boxcutter and finally slit my throat, which is what I think about doing every day. Screw it. I'm so tired of being so stupid and ****ed up.
Maybe this is something you could laugh over instead. When you feel a little uncomfortable, make a joke and smile. Dont' let it build up.
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Old 05-10-2011, 07:36 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Walmart sucks, not you. You have a boyfriend. You're a winner.
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