Does your entire quality of company change when you are 100% comfortable?

[Jaiyyson]

What I mean to say is that when you feel 100% non-judged or pressured in your interactions do you feel as though you can much more easily say what's on your mind without anxiety affecting the thoughts, feelings and verbal skills involved in expressing them?

I find that in almost all day to day situations, i.e with normal people in completely unstructured/ casual type interactions (especially at work), my thoughts and the way I talk is always more distorted than say the way I might express myself with somebody who shows interest and reciprocates with me such as my therapist. This is the same as when I am online too i.e I always find it much easier to communicate on msn perhaps for the same reason (because I am feeling more comfortable).

I just wish I could achieve the same thing with people who are of greater importance in my life. It's frustrating.

[Prakas]

I only feel like it on these forums and another place or 2 online. I don't feel 100% comfortable with anyone.

I can say that atleast here, I feel that I'm being clear, honest, and giving my opinion. What the worse that can happen here?

In the real world, I'm easy to please and won't argue. I say what is needed and required of me, and thats just about it. My mom lives me with, so I'm most comfortable with her because we been through alot, but I wouldn't say 100%, maybe 70% or so with her.

[hmf22]

I feel exactly the same!! The way I act and the people that I become friends with as a result is totally different from the way I act when I'm anxious and can't really make any friends. It is extremely frustrating. I attract all the guys I don't like because I'm comfortable with them, but don't attract all the guys I do like because I'm nervous and awkward around them, grrrrr....

[rdrr]

Originally Posted by hmf22

I feel exactly the same!! The way I act and the people that I become friends with as a result is totally different from the way I act when I'm anxious and can't really make any friends. It is extremely frustrating.

same here except i dont attract females i like really because the anxiety and nervousness i display causes me to avoid the whole situation most of the time. I guess you must fight the anxiety to get to that high comfort level you have with others so you can be 'normal'. I guess that's why someone of us on here get questions like 'how do you have sa' and 'why are you here' because we can be comfortable in some situations that others can't. for the answer to that: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/groups/the-sa-isn-t-running-your-life-but-it-s-still-here-and-you-struggle-with-it-group/

[malone]

Most definitely - when I'm with my best friend or boyfriend, my SA isn't a problem because I feel so comfortable and safe. Therefore I can be myself and I'm much more expressive. However there's times when we can be out and there's a lot of people around us (eg. boyfriends gig) and it seems that even with their presence, I'm really uncomfortable - so I'm awkward again.

[carambola]

Yes, of course.

[epril]

I absolutely understand what you're saying and feel the same way.