Does talking to people drain you? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-06-2012, 01:21 PM Thread Starter
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Does talking to people drain you?

Don't know if there's a medical condition for it, but just talking and socializing to people is draining me. My coworkers and boss are chatty Cathy's and I dunno what their drinking or smoking, but they can go for hours talking to multiple groups of people. I just got home doing 2 meetings with different doctors and chiropractors for marketing purposes and I'm tired. I did the same thing yesterday, came home, and passed out on the bed for 5 hrs.

Knowing my boss, she could talk to dozens of people within a 4 hr time frame, and still be ready for more. And don't get me started on public speaking. I'm up on the podium for 15 mins, then pass out at home for 4-5 hrs.

Anyone know what the cause is?
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post #2 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-06-2012, 01:22 PM
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yes...
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post #3 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-06-2012, 01:32 PM
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Look up introvert.

But more specifically, you are wired differently than most people so when you try to socialize "their way", it drains you. Try interacting with people where you can freely say what's on your mind and talk about topics that interest you and you may feel yourself gaining more energy.
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post #4 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-06-2012, 01:46 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by LucidVision View Post
Look up introvert.

But more specifically, you are wired differently than most people so when you try to socialize "their way", it drains you. Try interacting with people where you can freely say what's on your mind and talk about topics that interest you and you may feel yourself gaining more energy.

Introvert is more of a personality than a medical condition. And the same goes for friends, I do get drained from talking to them about common interests and stuff.
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post #5 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-06-2012, 01:50 PM Thread Starter
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Found an interesting article...

http://www.succeedsocially.com/drained
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post #6 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-06-2012, 01:55 PM
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Yeah but because I focus on "errors" in the conversation

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post #7 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-06-2012, 03:40 PM
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I can relate.

It seems like society values people who like to talk a lot.
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post #8 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-07-2012, 01:11 PM
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yeah i feel mentally and physically drained after just a hour or 2 of conversation... it doesn't matter who it is i always leave social situations feel like a zombie...
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post #9 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-07-2012, 01:38 PM
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It's funny, I was just thinking about this the other day. Met a friend of mine at a sports bar and he brought another friend of his I didn't know. The two of those guys can talk and talk. I can keep up with conversation just fine for like the first hour, then it's like my mental energy just dissipates. I kind of drop out of the conversation and just do a lot of listening and saying "yeah" "uh-huh" "okay." Then I just feel like leaving.
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post #10 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-07-2012, 01:41 PM
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Yep!
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post #11 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-07-2012, 01:43 PM
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Yeah introversion is characterized by being emotionally drained after socializing. While extroverts are charged from it. I guess I lie somewhere in between with a slight leaning to introversion or extroversion depending on my mood for that day.

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I can relate.

It seems like society values people who like to talk a lot.

It's an extroverted driven society. We are all expected to get along and be sociable. Sometimes when we don't have the energy or are not in the mood for it we are seen as grumpy people. I guess we should all learn to be a bit more extroverted when possible.
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post #12 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-07-2012, 01:52 PM
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It depends on who it is. I "talk" to a total stranger for 5 agonizing shake-filled minutes and I need a damn nap. I talk to a family member or close friend (Which I don't have anymore) and I'm usually fine unless we're angry with eachother.
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post #13 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-07-2012, 03:41 PM
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O god yes, i can so relate to this. At one point i get so tired from talking it gets hard not to stutter. I can focus for like a half hour at maximum and than i get tired and feel the need to be all alone, with no people around me.
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post #14 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-07-2012, 03:46 PM
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I only feel drained when I'm pretending. Particularly when it's mostly the other person doing the talking, talking about stuff I don't care about. When I have real conversations, though, it's the opposite effect.
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post #15 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-07-2012, 03:51 PM
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I only like to socialize with one person, maybe two if I'm up for it, at the very most 3 or 4. If there are anymore people in the surrounding area, I get irritated, sad, and I want to leave.
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post #16 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-07-2012, 03:55 PM
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yes...
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post #17 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-07-2012, 04:03 PM
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Yes, it's called introversion.
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post #18 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-07-2012, 04:50 PM
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Yeah, and eventually I just get bored of talking about their football injury or the way their socks didn't dry all the way. God, people are soooo boring.

"It is no measure of good health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - Jiddu Krishnamuerti
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post #19 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-07-2012, 05:05 PM Thread Starter
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O god yes, i can so relate to this. At one point i get so tired from talking it gets hard not to stutter. I can focus for like a half hour at maximum and than i get tired and feel the need to be all alone, with no people around me.

I start out good, and then I slowly start stuttering and sounded retarded...By the end of the day I feel like I need a nap.

I guess I've gotten better if some people get tired after half an hour of talking. Since I'm talking to different people about 15-30 mins per person...
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post #20 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-07-2012, 05:18 PM
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I'm introverted when it comes to talking to certain types of people.

Here's what's draining: Talking to loud, overbearing people who insist that every conversation move at a fast, distracted pace and continuously jump around (with no rewind button). These people often don't give the quieter, more thoughtful people ("thoughtful" both in terms of having good manners by allowing the quieter people opportunities to speak and content having a little depth of thought) is draining and aggravating. It's as if there's a "whew...glad that ordeal is over" sigh of relief when the conversation with those types of people is finally concluded.

Talking to quieter and more thoughtful people who respect others' pace of conversation and give everyone a chance to talk can be quite enjoyable, at least at certain times. And quite often the quiet people are saying more interesting and witty things than the loud yippers.
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