Do you ever get "encouraged" to be socially engaged by family?

[Magus]

Does your family ever try to "encourage" you both negatively or positively to become a social butterfly? How do you deal with the pressure of being the "black-sheep" of the family? My mom doesn't tell me to get friends anymore, after I had a long talk with her about how I feel in general about people. She always used to nag me, though.

[foodie]

lol this happens all the time even from family friends or older ppl i grew up with..yup just basically from EVERYBODY!!! lol

[KittyGirl]

ohh, yeah...

When I was 14, my grandpa called me 'antisocial' all the time.
He told me that if I could stop being antisocial for the summer, he would buy me a computer.


...he didn't buy me a computer. And I felt like an arse. XD

[mbp86]

My mom used to push me all the time. But she has stopped now.

[Tangerine]

Yeah, mostly my sister these days..
It always ends in her saying something along the lines of "Fine ***" and hanging up on me. haha..

[Keneth Jameson]

It is important to understand that these people care about you and thats the way that they show there love. My mum pressures me to be in a relationship all the time, but I know she just wants me to be happy. Most people that say to be more social may not understand our feelings but they just want us to well adjusted, confident and successful. I see it that we are successful already!

[jJoe]

all the time and sometimes i enjoy it, and others not so much

[Hello22]

Ya, like right now mam asked me to go somewhere, but i'm not in a brilliant mood so i'll stay in bed for another while. I'm moving out next month (thank ****) so i can stay in my room as much as i like without the parents nagging me

[Canadian Brotha]

My mom doesn't say much too often but every so often she asked me to join her at one of her church functions to get out & when I say no she'll say "you need people around you" which is true, I can't dispute that but I don't know how to explain to her how hard it is for me, I don't know how to explain depression & SA to anyone

[dreamingfear]

When I was a teenager my parents would tell me to get out of the house. That's so backwards from what most parents tell their children. My parents always wanted me to be more social and I would tell them there's not much I can do since I was a minor. I remember one period of time when I was 16 I had no desire for human contact and I was perfectly fine just living life in solitude for a few months. I was depressed at this time too, but I've been depressed for a lot of my life so it was nothing new. For me, I hate people telling me to be social both when my lack of social contact has to do with social anxiety and when my lack of social contact has to do with the low desire for human contact. I don't want to be bothered either way! It's not just my parents but also friends. I had a friend who would try to get me to get out of the house more often so that I could hang out with her and when I hung out she kind of made it sound like she thought I was stupid for not wanting to go out in the first place. I'm sure you all know that condescending speech people give to people with social anxiety when they tell them it's a good thing they finally got out of the house. I hate that. Now I still have my parents telling me to go out more often and I'm starting to hang out with friends more often than I was a few months ago, but that means I'm hanging out 2 to 4 times a month. I don't care anymore if people think I'm a loser for hanging out less than once a week, my socially anxious life is my socially anxious life.

[pita]

They used to encourage me, but one day, I asked them why they didn't have any friends, themselves. The encouragement stopped. Perhaps that was the wrong move on my part.

[Paul]

My parents were always trying to get me to be social growing up. Around age 9-10 or so they tried ordering me to call up somebody to do something on weekends, and since I didn't have any friends and didn't want the embarrassment of being rejected by a classmate I usually just used my sister's friend's brother who I didn't even like at all.

Later on my parents made me do cub scouts, which was torture. There was also little league. By the time I was a teenager, though, they seemed to give up and accept that I was a hopeless case.

Originally Posted by dreamingfear

Now I still have my parents telling me to go out more often and I'm starting to hang out with friends more often than I was a few months ago, but that means I'm hanging out 2 to 4 times a month. I don't care anymore if people think I'm a loser for hanging out less than once a week, my socially anxious life is my socially anxious life.

Well at least it makes you a socialite winner on SAS. I've met up with [actual] friends ten times in my life.

[BetaBoy90]

Yes at christmas time whenever I have a new hobby (last year it was running), I always get encouraged by my whole family, aunts, grandparents, everyone, to join a club with other people who run, to get "out" there, and meet people. I'm at the age now where I feel they should respect me, and let me as a young adult make my own choices. No one likes being babied, and I especially do not.

[Silent Ninja 88]

Yeah im always "encouraged" by family to be more social. They tell me i need to go out and meet some people and now that im 21 there telling me i need to go to the club and hang out more

[Nathan18]

My parents used to do this all the time. My dad called me antisocial quite often. Since I told them about my SA, they have pretty much stopped doing it. They told me that they just didn't understand why I didn't want to go out, and now they have a better understanding.

[sarafinanickelbocker]

Oh yeah, my mother used to harass me all the time for not having a social life. She even introduced me once, at a wedding rehearsal, as her "little spinster." I wasn't quite twenty-one at the time. Ahem! She has since given up, for whatever reason. Anyway, that is not a good example. I think family's usually thinking of your well-being. I just simply lived through that phase.

[Magus]

Thanks for all the answers, I've read all answers on here eagerly. It's great to know that I wasn't alone on this. ^^

[anxiousgirl79]

I guess I have the opposite problem. Even though I have Panic Disorder and OCD I get energized by meeting new people. I have a hard time actually opening up and letting people truly in my life, but to the rest of the world I can be the belle of the ball!

Kaley

[MrWorry]

I always got dragged onto the dancefloor at weddings. Absolutlely hated it because they would single me out.

Had cousins who didn't want to dance, but for some reason they would always try to get me out there.

[Brax]

My parents were pretty good about respecting my anti-social nature. However, my cousin was always telling me that I 'need to get a girlfriend'. He doesn't anymore though. But he was rather creepily invested in getting me laid at one point.

Edit: I just remembered that my mum was very annoying about getting me to go to church for a while. Ostensibly because it would get me out of the house. But I didn't want a bunch of compassionate Christians patronizing me in an attempt to soothe my social ills and I wasn't interested anyway. That was difficult for my mum to understand because she has such an odd relationship with church and religion, which I don't really want to get into. I couldn't get the kind of emotional satisfaction that she did from what I considered to be a boring and irrelevant place... I tried telling her just how much church wasn't for me but it was years following until she really understood.