Social Anxiety Support

Akira90125 · 11-02-2009, 10:16 PM

like you're at fault because of the way you are

it's like "i do want to help myself, it's just hard to bring myself to do it!"

i dislike this guilt trip. they don't realize just how much i crave social interaction/friendships/relationships/etc

know what im talking about?

sonne1234 · 11-02-2009, 10:39 PM

heard it heard it heard it. First, people talk down to us cause we're shy and awkward, then it's OUR fault because of the ways we've been treated.
It is NOT our fault. The world is a destructive, fallable place full of moronic and evil people who all think 'they' have the answer and that everyone else is wrong.
'We teach others how to treat us'--
--BS
It should go something like:
"Others teach us how to treat ourselves'
The fact is, very people understand this disorder.... even some of the people who specialize in it.

2Talkative · 11-02-2009, 11:22 PM

It is impossible for someone to understand SA who doesn't suffer with it.

I've made attempts with family they just pass it off, more like sweep it under the carpet. It's like people just actually don't want to know whats troubling us. They prefer to push us to the side.

Ospi · 11-02-2009, 11:27 PM

Honestly, I feel that a lot of people here do indeed expect things to get better without them really putting in any effort. I made some great progress over the past 12 months but **** it was tough work, I really had to force myself into consistently exposing myself to situations which made me ill to the stomach to just think about but I simply had to do it in order to make progress.

I fear a lot of people do just enough to make them think they are putting in the hard yards but in reality they are in a bit of denial.

2Talkative · 11-02-2009, 11:38 PM

Your right Ospi I know for a fact I do not do enough to combat SA to be honest I gave up and from there I only got worse now trying to claw my way back up from the ditch I dug.

Dempsey · 11-03-2009, 12:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ospi

Honestly, I feel that a lot of people here do indeed expect things to get better without them really putting in any effort. I made some great progress over the past 12 months but **** it was tough work, I really had to force myself into consistently exposing myself to situations which made me ill to the stomach to just think about but I simply had to do it in order to make progress.

I fear a lot of people do just enough to make them think they are putting in the hard yards but in reality they are in a bit of denial.

Just like with anything unfamiliar, it can be very difficult to push yourself into learning without someone showing you.
Imagine trying to learn to play the guitar without a music book or teacher.
You are right, it is all on the person to push themselves out of their comfort zone, but it is understandably a daunting task.

CrashMedicate · 11-03-2009, 12:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ospi

Honestly, I feel that a lot of people here do indeed expect things to get better without them really putting in any effort. I made some great progress over the past 12 months but **** it was tough work, I really had to force myself into consistently exposing myself to situations which made me ill to the stomach to just think about but I simply had to do it in order to make progress.

I fear a lot of people do just enough to make them think they are putting in the hard yards but in reality they are in a bit of denial.

Completely agree.

Sometimes the truth hurts, doesn't it?

Prakas · 11-03-2009, 04:30 AM

I know exactly what you mean.

I am hard-headed with life in general. Wether its learning to overcome SA or something smaller. It can also be that I'm paranoid with SA, which I recently learned that I am in another thread, but don't want to accept it.

secretlyshecries · 11-03-2009, 05:05 AM

Quote:

It is impossible for someone to understand SA who doesn't suffer with it.

I wouldn't say it is definitely impossible. You can't really say for sure unless you personally know each and every person on earth, lol.

Anyway, I feel like my consultant at the employment place I have to go to had this attitude. Just the way he looked at me and said that I had to admit, it was obviously holding me back from getting work. The way he spoke about it made it sound like some little problem I'd been putting off.

thetourist · 11-03-2009, 08:51 AM

Change isn't easy, and Life isn't easy. Trying to overcome SA is like any other challenge, it takes some dedication. It does suck that people without SA don't understand how simple tasks can be so difficult, but the only person in the end who can help you, is yourself. A therapist, meds, a supporting cast can help the process be made easier, but in the end it lays on our own shoulders to face this battle. I have been in the same situation lately. I realize I am lazy in the quest to heal myself, and expecting some magic cure. I know I will never be a social butterfly, but I hope I can learn and heal and to be able to compromise enough with myself to be comfortable and find some semblance of content.

11-02-2009, 10:16 PM	#1 (permalink)
Akira90125 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Bloomingdale, IL Gender: Male Posts: 74	Do u ever get told that ur too stubborn and dont want to help urself to overcome SA? like you're at fault because of the way you are it's like "i do want to help myself, it's just hard to bring myself to do it!" i dislike this guilt trip. they don't realize just how much i crave social interaction/friendships/relationships/etc know what im talking about?

11-02-2009, 11:22 PM	#3 (permalink)
2Talkative Status: MIA Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Vancouver BC Gender: Male Age: 28 Posts: 509	It is impossible for someone to understand SA who doesn't suffer with it. I've made attempts with family they just pass it off, more like sweep it under the carpet. It's like people just actually don't want to know whats troubling us. They prefer to push us to the side. __________________ "I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds." - Henry Rollins

11-02-2009, 11:27 PM	#4 (permalink)
Ospi Status: Swoit Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Brisbane, Australia Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 1,499	Honestly, I feel that a lot of people here do indeed expect things to get better without them really putting in any effort. I made some great progress over the past 12 months but **** it was tough work, I really had to force myself into consistently exposing myself to situations which made me ill to the stomach to just think about but I simply had to do it in order to make progress. I fear a lot of people do just enough to make them think they are putting in the hard yards but in reality they are in a bit of denial. __________________ "Racing is life. Anything that happens before or after...is just waiting"

11-02-2009, 11:38 PM	#5 (permalink)
2Talkative Status: MIA Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Vancouver BC Gender: Male Age: 28 Posts: 509	Your right Ospi I know for a fact I do not do enough to combat SA to be honest I gave up and from there I only got worse now trying to claw my way back up from the ditch I dug. __________________ "I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds." - Henry Rollins

11-02-2009, 10:39 PM	#2 (permalink)
sonne1234 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 79	heard it heard it heard it. First, people talk down to us cause we're shy and awkward, then it's OUR fault because of the ways we've been treated. It is NOT our fault. The world is a destructive, fallable place full of moronic and evil people who all think 'they' have the answer and that everyone else is wrong. 'We teach others how to treat us'-- --BS It should go something like: "Others teach us how to treat ourselves' The fact is, very people understand this disorder.... even some of the people who specialize in it.

11-03-2009, 04:30 AM	#8 (permalink)
Prakas Status: Failure - Life Sucks Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Delaware Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 434	I know exactly what you mean. I am hard-headed with life in general. Wether its learning to overcome SA or something smaller. It can also be that I'm paranoid with SA, which I recently learned that I am in another thread, but don't want to accept it.

11-03-2009, 08:51 AM	#10 (permalink)
thetourist Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: NY Gender: Male Posts: 22	Change isn't easy, and Life isn't easy. Trying to overcome SA is like any other challenge, it takes some dedication. It does suck that people without SA don't understand how simple tasks can be so difficult, but the only person in the end who can help you, is yourself. A therapist, meds, a supporting cast can help the process be made easier, but in the end it lays on our own shoulders to face this battle. I have been in the same situation lately. I realize I am lazy in the quest to heal myself, and expecting some magic cure. I know I will never be a social butterfly, but I hope I can learn and heal and to be able to compromise enough with myself to be comfortable and find some semblance of content.