Social Anxiety Support

rojers · 11-03-2009, 04:37 PM

I've practically been a loner my whole life. In pre-k nobody wanted to be my friend. Elementary no body knew me. High school I hung out with kids that didn't even want to be my friend because I did not want to look like a loner.

My parents are strict, growing up they always told me avoid girls. They never let me call my friends and I can't go out not to friends houses or parties or to the park. They told me it's for academic sucess but I'm a failure at school.
I always wanted to go out and do stuff with my friends but I never was allowed out. I'm 19 now and my parents still do not let me go out. They say they will disown me and kick me out of the house. I would like to have a good job before I move out. My parents take pride in it and tell all the other parents that I'm a good kid I don't drink or smoke don't have friends or go outside and cause trouble. Even though I drink sometimes and smoke weed occasionally and experiment with other drugs."no hard drugs"

Lately I noticed I have no close friends. In college if I meet someone in class later on in the hallway they pretend they don't know you and treat you like an acquaintance. After that I didn't really feel like being so friendly since everyone so cold.

I don't feel that I belong at home or at school the only place I ever felt at home is the boxing gym. I can easily make friends there I have so many friends there. It's pretty much what I'm addicted to and spend whatever time I can into it. It seems so much easier to make friends with someone after you fight with them.
Other activities are usually surfing the web, t.v and stuff. I never go places either. I snuck into a club once I hated it though the loud music and bright lights really annoyed me and I never went in there again.

Also I have a nervous tick. Whenever I'm nervous I start smiling or if I'm in trouble which has caused some akward situations

I hate my life. Everyone knows me as a loner I hate it. do i have sa?

rcapo89 · 11-03-2009, 05:02 PM

Well do you experience anxiety symptoms in social situations?

redtogo72 · 11-03-2009, 05:03 PM

I don't know. You probably should see a doctor to get properly diagnosed. You can go see to your college's mental health building to get free help.

Do you notice a big difference from when you are at home and when you are interacting with people outside of family? With my social anxiety, I feel like everything is focused on me and people will judge me for anything that I do. I have trouble making eye contact and talking to people. Often, I have to go over in my head of what I'm going to say.

Everyone's SA is different so if this doesn't describe you it doesn't mean you don't have it. It does sound like your parents are very strict and if you do decide to get help, they will need to be more supportive.

rojers · 11-03-2009, 05:06 PM

I always think alot of how others percieve me. If they see me as cool or uncool.
I hate being in a large group of people I'm alright in a group of 1-4 friends. More than that I start to feel uncomfortable.

rcapo89 · 11-03-2009, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rojers

My parents are strict, growing up they always told me avoid girls. They never let me call my friends and I can't go out not to friends houses or parties or to the park. They told me it's for academic sucess but I'm a failure at school.
I always wanted to go out and do stuff with my friends but I never was allowed out. I'm 19 now and my parents still do not let me go out. They say they will disown me and kick me out of the house. I would like to have a good job before I move out. My parents take pride in it and tell all the other parents that I'm a good kid I don't drink or smoke don't have friends or go outside and cause trouble. Even though I drink sometimes and smoke weed occasionally and experiment with other drugs."no hard drugs"

Your parents don't allow you to have a social life? Your an adult! Your parents are proud that you have no friends?!

rojers · 11-03-2009, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rcapo89

Your parents don't allow you to have a social life? Your an adult! Your parents are proud that you have no friends?!

They tell my cousins he's such a good boy most kids go out and drink and get pregnant, my son does none of that he just stays home and stays out of trouble. Whenever I tell them to stop telling them that because it's untrue and I do not like to stay home all the time they start fighting with me.

rcapo89 · 11-03-2009, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rojers

They tell my cousins he's such a good boy most kids go out and drink and get pregnant, my son does none of that he just stays home and stays out of trouble. Whenever I tell them to stop telling them that because it's untrue and I do not like to stay home all the time they start fighting with me.

How many years do you have until you graduate college? Have you thought about living in a dorm? Having a part time job would help you become exposed socially.

rojers · 11-03-2009, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rcapo89

How many years do you have until you graduate college? Have you thought about living in a dorm? Having a part time job would help you become exposed socially.

I have a year left. There's no dorms at my college. I tried a part time job before I did make some friends but it was just to smoke weed and chill out I guess. At my last work place I think I got too personal with a co-worker. She was a lonely 30 year old waitress and I worked alot of shifts with her and I got too personal and they fired me. So I try not to get to personal.

rcapo89 · 11-03-2009, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rojers

I have a year left. There's no dorms at my college. I tried a part time job before I did make some friends but it was just to smoke weed and chill out I guess. At my last work place I think I got too personal with a co-worker. She was a lonely 30 year old waitress and I worked alot of shifts with her and I got too personal and they fired me. So I try not to get to personal.

Have you tried joining a club to meet people who share similar interests.
I know I'm stating the obvious.

illlaymedown · 11-03-2009, 06:10 PM

I'm a tad confused...not trying to be rude, but is SAS actually another term for social anxiety or are you just mixing up the site name with SA? :/ Like I said, just asking cus I would like to know as much as I can about SA and I know it's also called SAD, social phobia, and such...
As far a your question goes...having continuous isolation can cause SA, infact a lot of minor things can cause SA if especially if they happen during your development childhood years. Not sure from what I've read that you have it or not, but it's very possible. There are many sites including this one that describe it in depth with its symptoms of all sorts as well.

rojers · 11-03-2009, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rcapo89

Have you tried joining a club to meet people who share similar interests.
I know I'm stating the obvious.

Thank you for at least trying.
I enjoy playing video games but I'm not that hardcore.
SO I tried the videogame club but the people there seemed to care more about playing games rather than being social. Alot of the kids there seem a little wierd too I feel uncomfortable around them. They seem like they have a few "mental problems". I made like 2 friends but I feel incredibly uncomfortable there as I suck at videogames and everyone beats me at it.
Hell I got beat by a mentally challenged kid.
I don't really feel at place in the other clubs either because they don't appeal to my interests.

rojers · 11-03-2009, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by illlaymedown

I'm a tad confused...not trying to be rude, but is SAS actually another term for social anxiety or are you just mixing up the site name with SA? :/ Like I said, just asking cus I would like to know as much as I can about SA and I know it's also called SAD, social phobia, and such...
As far a your question goes...having continuous isolation can cause SA, infact a lot of minor things can cause SA if especially if they happen during your development childhood years. Not sure from what I've read that you have it or not, but it's very possible. There are many sites including this one that describe it in depth with its symptoms of all sorts as well.

yeah sorry I confused it with the site name. I meant social anxiety.
What are the symptoms anyway?

illlaymedown · 11-03-2009, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rojers

yeah sorry I confused it with the site name. I meant social anxiety.
What are the symptoms anyway?

Nah, it's ok...just wasn't sure

Well there are many but not every SA sufferer has them or has them to the same degree in the same situations....stuff like profuse sweating, shaking, blushing, heart palpitations, panic attacks, labored/excessive breathing, etc mainly associated with social situations. In my case, I really fear asking for applications, driving, being around more than one person I don't know, working, answering the door, talking on the phone, etc...You normally fear the potential rejection, judgement and humiliation of others in these types of situations. Sometimes if it's extreme enough you think excessively about a social event weeks before it even happens and after it's over you analyze everything you said/did and the way other people acted and must have thought of you. My SA makes me have trouble sleeing, nauseaus, have headaches, feel stressed, depressed, shaky, breathe irregular, my heart race, sometimes I twitch(especially my eye), makes me more alert to everything that's going on around me, etc. There are dif levels of SA just like any other illness/condition, so not having exactly what I do doesn't mean you don't have it, but just having some of the things doesn't mean you do either. You just either have to study it or ask a doctor...

Hope that helps.

millenniumman75 · 11-03-2009, 06:39 PM

The homepage has some information. I think there is some SA there, but only a doctor can completely diagnose it.

In the meantime, don't get anyone pregnant!

rcapo89 · 11-04-2009, 04:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by millenniumman75

In the meantime, don't get anyone pregnant!

... What is that supposed to mean?

11-03-2009, 04:37 PM	#1 (permalink)
rojers Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 6	Do I have SAS? I've practically been a loner my whole life. In pre-k nobody wanted to be my friend. Elementary no body knew me. High school I hung out with kids that didn't even want to be my friend because I did not want to look like a loner. My parents are strict, growing up they always told me avoid girls. They never let me call my friends and I can't go out not to friends houses or parties or to the park. They told me it's for academic sucess but I'm a failure at school. I always wanted to go out and do stuff with my friends but I never was allowed out. I'm 19 now and my parents still do not let me go out. They say they will disown me and kick me out of the house. I would like to have a good job before I move out. My parents take pride in it and tell all the other parents that I'm a good kid I don't drink or smoke don't have friends or go outside and cause trouble. Even though I drink sometimes and smoke weed occasionally and experiment with other drugs."no hard drugs" Lately I noticed I have no close friends. In college if I meet someone in class later on in the hallway they pretend they don't know you and treat you like an acquaintance. After that I didn't really feel like being so friendly since everyone so cold. I don't feel that I belong at home or at school the only place I ever felt at home is the boxing gym. I can easily make friends there I have so many friends there. It's pretty much what I'm addicted to and spend whatever time I can into it. It seems so much easier to make friends with someone after you fight with them. Other activities are usually surfing the web, t.v and stuff. I never go places either. I snuck into a club once I hated it though the loud music and bright lights really annoyed me and I never went in there again. Also I have a nervous tick. Whenever I'm nervous I start smiling or if I'm in trouble which has caused some akward situations I hate my life. Everyone knows me as a loner I hate it. do i have sa?

11-03-2009, 05:02 PM	#2 (permalink)
rcapo89 Status: Exploring the moon Europa Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Georgia (northeast of Atlanta) Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 842	Well do you experience anxiety symptoms in social situations? __________________ I see the world being slowly transformed into a wilderness, I hear the approaching thunder that, one day, will destroy us too. I feel the suffering of millions. And yet, when I look up at the sky, I somehow feel that everything will change for the better, that this cruelty too shall end, that peace and tranquility will return once more. - Anne Frank

11-03-2009, 06:10 PM	#10 (permalink)
illlaymedown Status: Miseria Cantare Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Mississippi Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 366	I'm a tad confused...not trying to be rude, but is SAS actually another term for social anxiety or are you just mixing up the site name with SA? :/ Like I said, just asking cus I would like to know as much as I can about SA and I know it's also called SAD, social phobia, and such... As far a your question goes...having continuous isolation can cause SA, infact a lot of minor things can cause SA if especially if they happen during your development childhood years. Not sure from what I've read that you have it or not, but it's very possible. There are many sites including this one that describe it in depth with its symptoms of all sorts as well. __________________ "I feel like a helpless puppet being manipulated in some major scheme."~ Squall Leonhart My avatar is my art...www.myspace.com/illlaymedown

11-03-2009, 06:39 PM	#14 (permalink)
millenniumman75 Status: Super Moderator Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Dayton-Cincinnati, OH Gender: Male Age: 34 Posts: 38,682	The homepage has some information. I think there is some SA there, but only a doctor can completely diagnose it. In the meantime, don't get anyone pregnant! __________________ millenniumman75 You are a success story waiting to happen! Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover.... Live and HELP live is better!

11-03-2009, 05:03 PM	#3 (permalink)
redtogo72 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 78	I don't know. You probably should see a doctor to get properly diagnosed. You can go see to your college's mental health building to get free help. Do you notice a big difference from when you are at home and when you are interacting with people outside of family? With my social anxiety, I feel like everything is focused on me and people will judge me for anything that I do. I have trouble making eye contact and talking to people. Often, I have to go over in my head of what I'm going to say. Everyone's SA is different so if this doesn't describe you it doesn't mean you don't have it. It does sound like your parents are very strict and if you do decide to get help, they will need to be more supportive.

11-03-2009, 05:06 PM	#4 (permalink)
rojers Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 6	I always think alot of how others percieve me. If they see me as cool or uncool. I hate being in a large group of people I'm alright in a group of 1-4 friends. More than that I start to feel uncomfortable.