Do Friend(s) just ever stop talking to you for no reason ? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-16-2006, 02:13 PM Thread Starter
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Do Friend(s) just ever stop talking to you for no reason ?

This has happened to me a couple times. I'd make a good friend. And then all of a sudden...maybe after a couple months. They just stop talking to me all of a sudden, for absolutely no visible reason at all. Even block me on instant messengers. And I don't even wanna bother calling them to see what's up cuz of my SA. Does this ever happen to you?
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-16-2006, 02:19 PM
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yep exact same things happened to me. i probably could've prevented it all with a few phone calls.. but i cant just phone someone up out of the blue and ask them to go do stuff. also seemed like plans would get canceled at the last minute, and i'd change my other plans to accomodate one thing just so the friend wouldn't show up at all.
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-17-2006, 12:07 AM
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It happens, which makes finding dependable and trustworthy friends an issue. But don't blame yourself. Through my experience and the stories I hear, the lack of communication was on the other persons side. Either other things in life have kept them occupied and/or something has pushed a growing friendship with you aside so much that they feel like its not worth it anymore to try or may even feel too embarrassed after all this time to try to start up it up again. All you can do is shrug and move on.

It happens quite often with everyone, so don't blame yourself or think it may be something that you did. If they've gone so far as to block you, then don't even bother trying to contact them anymore. Even if you just want to make sure their okay, just forget it and move on. The problem is on their side, not yours so save yourself the trouble of worrying about it.
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-17-2006, 03:47 AM
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This has happened on every occasion I have made a friend. Everything seems fine and I value their company until all of a sudden things would disintegrate. At first gradual avoidance, and then to be completely disregarded. It's shattered my confidence when it comes to new people. Definitely.
I think my problem comes down to the fact that I don't know what to do with people when it comes to going out and socilaising, and so they were just people I talked to in and around school. Perhaps I overestimated them by thinking of them as friends in the first place. In hindsight it seems that all I ever had was casual aquantances.

Never expect anything from someone, then you'll never be dissapointed when they let you down. You've got to just try and find someone else to befriend. Forget about them; like they have done with you.
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-17-2006, 05:54 AM
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It has happened to me, but in reality I'm not sure if I can even say that because I'm guilty of not contacting friends. If I haven't heard from someone in a while, yet I have made no attempt to contact them, I can't complain that so-and-so doesn't talk to me anymore. They could very well be saying the same about me.
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-17-2006, 09:20 AM
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For no reason? Once. I thought we were best buddies, roomed together for two years. Almost like overnight, she just stopped talking to me. That made me cry. Then I got over it. The end.

I'm a hypocrite.
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-17-2006, 10:22 AM
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yea acouple of times I have had the same thing happen to me. I think it might have been a lack of effort from my part tho.
Most of the time I think I expect them to call me and make plans to chill or whatever but I never did.
Or maybe some of them that I didnt bother keeping in touch with just met other people and continuted on with their lives.
Maybe it was different for you guys but I think I had something to do with my friends getting distant from me.

"Don't let your special character and values, the secret that you know and no one else does, the truth - don't let that get swallowed up by the great chewing complacency. " -Aesop
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-17-2006, 12:56 PM
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Yes, which means that they weren't my friend in the first place.

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Lexapro, Zoloft, Celexa, Prozac, Paxil, Effexor XR, Remeron, Wellbutrin SR, Eskalith CR, Topamax, Valium, Xanax, Ativan, Ambien, Restoril, Desyrel, Ritalin, Adderall, Dexedrine, Inderal, Lopressor, Thorazine, Lamictal, Abilify, Depakote, Geodon, Seroquel, doxepin, chloral hydrate
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-17-2006, 01:09 PM
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Yep, I have had that happen. I was friends with someone in college, we hung out, than the quarter ended, she went home. When the next quarter started up, I would try to talk to her, but she would have nothing to do with me. The final six months in college, she was flighty at best. It was probably becasue I was graduating. I can't figure women like that out (women in engineering seem to have different issues than most women for some reason).

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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-17-2006, 04:47 PM
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There is a reason you just arent aware of it.
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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-17-2006, 06:14 PM
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This has happened to me. The thing is, I'm so clueless about friendships, it may just be that I'm the one not keeping in touch with them. I never know how often to call or IM or anything, so I think people sometimes get the impression I don't really care when I wait too long.
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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-18-2006, 01:38 PM
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This happens to me all of the time. I have never really had any "real", just ppl I message every now and then. Im just affraid that I come off as being boring and unsocialble. Im no fun to be around at all.
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