Did your SA improve when you left home?

[CoriDory]

I'm currently living with my parents, in my late twenties and hope by my 30th bday I'm out of here. They aren't completely horrible, and can be supportive at times but I know A LOT of the sa or anxiety stems from them. I hear and see how harsh and judgmental my dad is with himself and everyone else, how angry my mom used to get. Living at home also doesn't do much for the self esteem. I guess I'm just wondering if things improved for those that moved away? Or did the stress of being on your own bring it's own set of problems.

I understand that even without being around parents, we still carry our own negative beliefs and thoughts but sometimes not being in that environment, and I imagine being on your own forces you to become more self reliant, independent..etc

[Moon Calf]

I'm also in my late twenties and live with my parents. I don't think living on my own would help me much. Actually, I would probably become even more of a recluse. I think I should move in with my sister and her boyfriend. At least there I would be forced to interact with people.

[CoriDory]

yea, I wonder if the stress would get too much sometimes and become counteractive to improvement, then again staying home too long and being around ppl that remind you of negativity isn't helpful either.

[Gena320]

I wonder the same thing sometimes, but I don't know if I'd be able to make it on my own.

[mrmaticus]

I am 20 and live with some friends and I have found that it is better then living at home because it makes me feel more normal. If I had to stay at home while my friends were on their own, I feel like I would stand out. But now on my own I can pretend that I'm perfectly normal and it helps my mindset. Plus it forces me to deal with situations and have constant interaction with people.

[letitrock]

My sanity improved when I left home

[semidetached]

Yes! Almost entirely! But then I screwed up with bill payments and had to move back in with my parents... and guess what? That's right, I'm back to being my old SA self again.

It's absurd. I don't blame my parents for being who they are, but I have to learn to accept that they are affecting me. For instance, I have quite bad depression, but when I go to spend the evening at my sister's house my depression lifts (only slightly sometimes, but greatly a lot of the time). If that's not a sign of how my parents and my home life is making me feel I don't know what is.

[CoriDory]

sorry to hear about having to move back home semidetached :-/ though it's great that you moved out before and to know you have some kind of outlet for the sa. When I stay at my bf's house I tend to feel a bit more sane too..lol..but then I get irritated if i'm there too long and have to go home to recollect myself. Yea, I imagine having your own place challenges you more and personal space is so important...

[frozen moment]

Living on my own actually did improve my SA. I have to go out to buy things, make phone calls, etc. I cannot ask someone else to do it for me, like I did before. It was difficult at first to do all those things by myself, but I've gotten used to it. I still feel anxious when I go out and I can be pretty avoidant sometimes, but not as much as I used to. I feel better about myself now.

On the other hand, I do worry a lot and I can feel pretty stressed because I have to do everything myself. Luckily I can always ask my family for help.

[solitarian]

Originally Posted by Moon Calf

I don't think living on my own would help me much. Actually, I would probably become even more of a recluse.

I moved out of my parents' house for the first time several months ago (moved out of state) and this is happening with me. I'm more reclusive than ever. It's good to be away from my family--it's not a healthy environment for me--but now I am truly becoming a hermit outside of work hours. I still have no friends, but now I don't even have family members around.

[pixies]

I felt much better when I moved out, but I was on Paxil at the time and it made me so well that I got a job and shared a house with people and everything was awesome. Until I stupidly stopped taking it and then everything turned to crap..

[kindasorta]

It was better in the beginning, but when I got too bad to work and actually socialize I think I allowed myself to turn inward more than if I had stayed with my parents. But that has never been an option since I left.

[UltraShy]

I wouldn't know as I've yet to leave home at 36.

Leaving home would just mean to me spending additional money on housing so that I can be 100% alone and talking to a wall, rather than my mother who is at least marginally better than a wall.

[somethinginthewind]

I was 19 when I moved out and moved 6 hours away to start college and my SA became actually almost nonexistent. I had great roommates and made quite a few close friends though.

[Jayne311]

I think living with my parents has a big effect on s.a. I can never do anything outwardly without their approval. I can't stand to argue or be different than what they think of me as. This goes back to when I was a small child too. I never wanted to do anything, even talk to other children, because I never had before, and if I started, that would mean changing, and I wasn't sure if my parents would like that.

I love my parents, and they still do a wonderful job helping me, but when I get ready to live by myself I think it will do me a lot of good. I'll be able to experiment with life more when I'm not right by them.

[ohpewp]

It took some adjustment, but when I started college and moved into dorms and was dealing with my own business and planning for all my own time, things got a lot better. It was stressful sometimes, but mostly it gave me, I don't know...a sense of adventure or something

[Makaveli]

Originally Posted by UltraShy

Leaving home would just mean to me spending additional money on housing so that I can be 100% alone and talking to a wall, rather than my mother who is at least marginally better than a wall.

that made me laugh, funny comment!

----

I'm recently 27. Still at home. For me to move out I'd need: a job, a car. I can do chores and stuff and the only other thing is to cook which I guess I could learn by necessity (just how I learned other chores). I'm not sure how it would affect my SA. I think initially it would be pretty ****en hard but after the separation stage I'd be ok. I have separation anxiety stemming from childhood btw. Like I literally got anxiety attacks and depression when I was on holidays in Thailand last year. It eventually passed.

Being independent and having to survive on my own would either make or break me. As humans I think we are conditioned to survive to it'd probably be a blessing for me.

To take the plunge I'd need a job and car and some serious commitment. Coz if I moved out and then stopped taking meds and plunged into deep and dark depression then it could be disaster and could lead to homelessness, eviction etc. Similar to what happened at uni (15k debt from forfeiture of subjects), or work (repeated warnings for not calling in when sick - due to being severely depressed and not wanting to use the phone).

[MayritaJudith]

I'm about to find out that answer, because I will be leaving home in january and live in a completely different country, lets see how it goes, i think my SA is improving.

[neurotic1]

Its helpfull on many levels, you learn to be independent which is good for self esteem besides its practical side. Also if your away from a negative home its much less stressful, it in my experience makes you want to do things. Though sa is always still there, and so many things you will have to deal with on your own.

[shadowmask]

It's better to an extent since getting my own place, although still debilitating on so many levels. The fact that I fell into a severe depression, which I have yet to recover from, shortly after leaving home didn't help matters though. As others stated, it's one of those things that will either make you or break you.