Originally Posted by mysteryguy85
I seem to have problems cutting out negative people. Mostly because some negative people seem to be attached friend or family-wise to people I like. For example, if you have a friend you like, well he or she will have a friend they come with as a set.
Anyway, when you lack self-esteem and you have to hang out with somebody who belittles you and laughs at your goals and aspirations, it is very discouraging to keep going.
Say you want to be a fireman, and somebody laughs at you and tells you that you don't have what it takes, you're not strong enough, and they act like they're so much more qualified, more life experience, etc.
So you think you can do something until you run into this person and then they rain on your goals.
Then they say something and you sit down and go, "Oh wow...I don't think that I can do this any more..." and you second-guess yourself.
But I've recently decided I need to do what I can to cut these people out.
Any tips? Has anybody successfully done this? Told them off cold? I've thought about just being an absolute jerk back to them, that seems to make them back off...pre-emtive.
What do you think? Ways to cut them out? Ways to ignore them? Ways to make them see eye-level with you?
to do this you have to be blunt. you have to tell them straight.
i used to have a ''friend'' who would always verbally bully me , always , about anything and everything. one day i thought to myself '' iwant this guy out of my life for good''. why would i want someone like that in my life .
anyway one day he phoned me and i sed '' what the **** do you want ?'' and he sed ''whats up with you '' to which i replied'' **** you fat c@nt, who the **** are you , we are not friends so dont phone me again''
that was 5 years ago and i never heard from him since, he deffo got the message
it may sound a bit harsh or unneccasery or inapropriate but there are 2 things to consider here:
1) if i hadnt been that harsh he would not have got the message
2)it doesnt matter if it was harsh cos this person has never once considered your feelings so why should you consider theres ?
another time there was this guy in work who i didnt particulaly like and he sent me an email asking me if i wanted to buy these designer clothes that he was selling. now this guy never made an effort with me and sometimes walking past him int he corridor he woul dignore me or give me a little smerk as if he was laughing at me .
so i thought ''who the **** are you trying to make money off me when uve never even been friendly to me '' so i sent him an email back saying '' listen i want you to stop emailing me ok, me and you are no friends so do no email me ''
he got the message. everytime i seen him after that he felt awkward but i never .
i nver used to be able to do things like this though cos i had problems being assertive . i fixed that though using this batch remedie. i think its name was ''centuary''
a good way of getting negative people out of your life is to put yourself in an angry state. make a list of all things that make you angry e.g:
ive missed out on so much of life
other people my age have so much moe
i could end up alone forever cos of sa
people used to always bully me just cos i was shy
just write dow stuff that makes you angry cos when you are angry you become harsh and selfish , and thats exactly the way you need to be to get negative people out of your life