Could not urinate at work, embarresed

[Beryl]

During school I almost never went to the bathroom to pee and the seldom times I did I used the toilet instead of the urinals, I didn't even realize I was being avoidant. Now I work in an office and occasionally by the afternoon I got to go, I have gone a few times but have always been lucky none else was there or I was midstream. Only once before had I came in with someone else whom I was more comfortable with, but he washed his face while I used the urinal and only when I was done did he go to the restroom. It took me a little time then too but I was able to go. This time I had drank a good amount of caffein so my anxiety was running a bit higher than usual. As soon as I was walking in one of my older coworkers, whos one to speak his mind, and sometimes harsh, but always pretty nice to me, walked in at the same time I did. My mind started racing about what if I couldn't urinate, he finished quick but I couldn't go and even trembled a bit as he finished up quickly washed his hands and then left, it was only after a minute later could I actually go.

Alot of my coworkers already think im crazy, now this. I feel like he wont say anything to anyone, probably out of fear I would blow my brains out or his.

Anxiety is affecting every part of my life. I don't want to stay avoidant, I have to beat this. Im going to try using the urinal everywhere I go outside work, then trying to tackle this at work. This was a problem 6 months ago during the drug test before I started the job also, it took me a long time to go. It was only after the drug test did this fear really come about although I did avoid urinals in the past.

[OGKush]

man I hate this ****... the other time as this club I just couldnt ****ing go, not even on the closed bathroom... I kept hearing all the people outside and stayed there for like 20 minutes (felt like forever) each time I went, sometimes aborting and coming back later... its so frustrating, I cant be relaxed if Im dying to take a piss, why cant I be like every other dude and just pee in the street lol

[jvanb00c]

I can't pee at a urinal if my life were on the line when guys are in there but I can pee in the stall no matter who all is in the bathroom.

[ToucanSam]

You described my school & work shy bladder perfectly!!

You are wise to not want to give in to the urge to flee, but rather to confront it!!

Exposure is one of the best ways to beat back an anxiety; however, the exposure scenario must be reasonable. If it's too stressful (like your work restroom), then the exposure practices can backfire and reinforce your fears.

Are there other public places that you find less stressful? A good strategy is to practice in some easy scenario until you feel really comfortable (weeks or months), and then up the ante by going somewhere a little (not a lot) more stressful.

[djp2k10]

That's the way it's always been with me too at school or work in the past.

I try to just resign myself to being a "stall man" heh.

[ToucanSam]

Originally Posted by djp2k10

I try to just resign myself to being a "stall man" heh.

unfortunately, that doesn't work reliably for me. This damn SA is often worsened by over-analyzing a situation, so the paranoia I have standing at a urinal does not dissipate in a stall, but rather is recycled into the fear that people are thinking, "Wow, he's such a sissy that he has to pee in a stall!"

[SomebodyWakeME]

This may sound odd, but there's a method i use to try to break myself of this "disorder". When i'm at home around people i feel more comfortable with, i'll crack the bathroom door while urinating. Next time, crack it a little more...and so on. This is just to break me in ya know, i don't leave it wide open every single time.

[djp2k10]

Originally Posted by ToucanSam

unfortunately, that doesn't work reliably for me. This damn SA is often worsened by over-analyzing a situation, so the paranoia I have standing at a urinal does not dissipate in a stall, but rather is recycled into the fear that people are thinking, "Wow, he's such a sissy that he has to pee in a stall!"

Hehe, yeah I know. That's happened to me too at times. But look at it this way, they could also think "oh that guy is just peeing before/after he poops."

Also, remember they can't see you so they don't know who you are in there as long as you don't come out while they're in the bathroom. I like to try and zone out a little and think about something exciting which makes me get a pee urge if I'm lucky. The only thing that gets me is when there's someone is pooping the next stall over. Or both stalls next to you......... and loudly. Ugh. haha.

I usually do better in a big completely public restroom with lots of stalls and anonymity.

lol, the fun ways we have to trick our minds.