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Old 12-14-2008, 05:42 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default Confused/surprised when people like you?

It dawned upon me tonight that when someone shows good feeling towards me I'm confused and don't believe that positive feeling towards me can last. I realized this after a friends of my sisters came over and laughed at some of my comments and respected me, its probably because I'm in the family though. Still, I don't know how to react or how to think when someone doesn't hate me, its like the whole game changes. I also realize I go into meeting people expecting them to hate me, no matter what I do. Because of this I've learned to not even try as the years went by.
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Old 12-14-2008, 05:47 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Yes! Very much so. Fading with time, but my first reaction is always "they're just pretending to be nice".
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Old 12-14-2008, 05:55 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Yes! Very much so. Fading with time, but my first reaction is always "they're just pretending to be nice".
Yeah I think the same thing, I become very aware and just look out for that grimace or frown to give way their true feelings about me. I can't figure out why it ends up like that usually, I can even get along with a person and laugh together but in the end they will hate me.
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Old 12-14-2008, 06:07 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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I'm surprised when someone talks to me period. As far as complimenting goes I think they probably notice my awkward behavior and can tell I have a low self esteem etc. and are just saying something nice to make me feel good.
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Old 12-14-2008, 06:09 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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I'm surprised when someone talks to me period. As far as complimenting goes I think they probably notice my awkward behavior and can tell I have a low self esteem etc. and are just saying something nice to make me feel good.
Yeah Ive noticed people have a very strong radar when it comes to detecting insecurity or discomfort in others, specifically me.
When someone actually likes me (very few and far between) I think there must be something wrong with that person instead of something right with me.
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Old 12-14-2008, 06:10 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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I know!!

What a concept!! the idea that someone could actually like me!!
impossible!! ridiculous!!

or is it???

holy ****

wouldnt that be something
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Old 12-14-2008, 06:15 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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I don't really know how to react we people give me a compliment, I mean sure I say thanks but then I feel like I have to give them one back. And I'm afraid I'll say something stupid. I guess they're just trying to be nice ,but it leaves me feeling more insecure.
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Old 12-14-2008, 06:21 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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I don't really know how to react we people give me a compliment, I mean sure I say thanks but then I feel like I have to give them one back. And I'm afraid I'll say something stupid. I guess they're just trying to be nice ,but it leaves me feeling more insecure.
Ditto. But sometimes it actually helps me feel good about myself. <3
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Old 12-14-2008, 06:23 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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I can't even remember the last time I was complimented on any aspect of myself -_-
I only know criticism.
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Old 12-14-2008, 06:32 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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Same here. When someone compliments me, I think they're just trying to be nice or they feel sorry for me.
Also when someone shows that they like me, I feel like they are planning on something, or they just haven't really known who I am yet. So I reject them before they know who I really am.
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Old 12-14-2008, 06:35 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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I got a compliment by someone a while ago. She said she liked my hair, but it was so ugly I'm sure she was just saying that, I replied with "I hate it." Then felt stupid for not just saying "thanks" like I should have.
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Old 12-14-2008, 06:57 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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When I stopped explaining to people why they were wrong for complimenting me - that's when I felt that I was really getting somewhere. Nowadays, though ...
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Old 12-15-2008, 12:14 AM   #13 (permalink)
 
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I feel the same. I think they are just trying to humor me or something... Even worse is that I actually feel bad for getting A compliment how hideous is that? lol
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Old 12-15-2008, 12:19 AM   #14 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jinnix View Post
It dawned upon me tonight that when someone shows good feeling towards me I'm confused and don't believe that positive feeling towards me can last. I realized this after a friends of my sisters came over and laughed at some of my comments and respected me, its probably because I'm in the family though. Still, I don't know how to react or how to think when someone doesn't hate me, its like the whole game changes. I also realize I go into meeting people expecting them to hate me, no matter what I do. Because of this I've learned to not even try as the years went by.
at first its hard to take. but ive figured the people that i will be friends with.. will like me for who i am and i don't have to go out of my way and try and impress them. dont carry expectations. be yourself. let things be.
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Old 12-15-2008, 04:18 AM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snowfly View Post
I got a compliment by someone a while ago. She said she liked my hair, but it was so ugly I'm sure she was just saying that, I replied with "I hate it." Then felt stupid for not just saying "thanks" like I should have.


That's exactly how I am. Anytime someone gives me a compliment I am very skeptical about it......and I figure they either see that I am insecure or they are just being polite. All I can do is respond in a weird and uncomfortable way....haha.
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Old 12-15-2008, 04:20 AM   #16 (permalink)
 
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I'm surprised when a girl likes me. I always think that they think I'm boring.
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Old 12-15-2008, 09:33 AM   #17 (permalink)
 
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ha! see I have the opposite problem, I tend to be naive and become friends with people who aren't "real" friends b/c I want to feel connected and be liked and make friends. So these people end up letting me down b/c I really thought they liked me or whatever. Sometimes they're flakes, or they're using me. BUT that is not typical...it happens rarely. I generally assume everyone will like me b/c whats not to like and I think thats a good attitude. And I seriously believe people think I'm nice and funny and probably have a good opinion of me. I do worry they think I'm boring though. The bigger question is will they invite me to do stuff? will they call me back? will they actually be a friend?
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Old 12-15-2008, 09:34 AM   #18 (permalink)
 
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oh! and about accepting compliments...just smile and deliver a sincere thank you. You don't need to give one back and you shouldn't feel awkward. They said something nice! be happy! Only give compliments to others if you really mean it...people can tell when you're being fake or just saying something out of obligation.
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Old 12-15-2008, 03:16 PM   #19 (permalink)
 
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Yeah, I'm always really surprised when people are nice/open to me. It happens so rarely.
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Old 12-16-2008, 02:36 AM   #20 (permalink)
 
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I'm confused/surprised when people even acknowledge me. I'm still in high school mode when I was The Invisible One.
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