Social Anxiety Support

jfcorby79 · 11-19-2009, 04:57 PM

Hello, my name is Jon, and I'm from New Hampshire. Over the last few years, I have begun to feel as though my fear of public places has become an obstacle to both my social life and career. It's hard to quite figure out where it all began, but I become really nervous about going anywhere that isn't home or work.

I am a successful manager, and my job involves 100% travel. Public speaking is part of my job, and I speak to groups ranging from three to four hundred on a daily basis. I am outspoken, pleasant and really positive in the workplace. But, that is where it ends.

Coworkers, and others I have just met on the job will frequently ask me to join them for lunch, dinner, or drinks after work. At that moment, I am instantly panic-stricken, and will find any excuse possible to "bail out." In fact, I am uncomfortable spending time with anyone who is not a childhood friend (who I may see once in a few months time), my parents, or my girlfriend of four years.

Whenever I am "lured" into situations which I cannot protest my way out of, I become so nervous that I have nothing to say. This has caused my coworkers, superiors, and new aquaintances to call me "strange" and "wierd." People have even told me that I make them uncomfortable, asking how I can be so cheery at work, yet so dismall off-the-clock.

I wish I knew what to do. Earlier this week, I delivered my finest speach to date, motivating a group of three hundred toward a common goal. But, my girlfriend and I sit in silence at the local bar, as I am more concerned about what the other patrons are thinking. Or like the other day, when my manager wanted to take my out to lunch, but I had nothing to say to him.

How can I feel so confortable at work, but nowhere else? I'm tired of leaving my job and going straight home. I'm tired of not wanting to pick up the phone when it rings. I'm tired of not experiencing anything but work. Does anyone have any thoughts on what I can do?

Youandwe · 11-19-2009, 06:18 PM

Have you read Conversationally Speaking by Alan Garner ? It has really good practical advice about how to start conversations, how to set and acheive social goals, and a whole host of other things. That book may be helpful for you. You can get it at amazon.com

11-19-2009, 04:57 PM	#1 (permalink)
jfcorby79 Status: Leggo my Eggo Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Laconia, New Hampshire Gender: Male Posts: 5	Comfort Zone - Advice Welcome Hello, my name is Jon, and I'm from New Hampshire. Over the last few years, I have begun to feel as though my fear of public places has become an obstacle to both my social life and career. It's hard to quite figure out where it all began, but I become really nervous about going anywhere that isn't home or work. I am a successful manager, and my job involves 100% travel. Public speaking is part of my job, and I speak to groups ranging from three to four hundred on a daily basis. I am outspoken, pleasant and really positive in the workplace. But, that is where it ends. Coworkers, and others I have just met on the job will frequently ask me to join them for lunch, dinner, or drinks after work. At that moment, I am instantly panic-stricken, and will find any excuse possible to "bail out." In fact, I am uncomfortable spending time with anyone who is not a childhood friend (who I may see once in a few months time), my parents, or my girlfriend of four years. Whenever I am "lured" into situations which I cannot protest my way out of, I become so nervous that I have nothing to say. This has caused my coworkers, superiors, and new aquaintances to call me "strange" and "wierd." People have even told me that I make them uncomfortable, asking how I can be so cheery at work, yet so dismall off-the-clock. I wish I knew what to do. Earlier this week, I delivered my finest speach to date, motivating a group of three hundred toward a common goal. But, my girlfriend and I sit in silence at the local bar, as I am more concerned about what the other patrons are thinking. Or like the other day, when my manager wanted to take my out to lunch, but I had nothing to say to him. How can I feel so confortable at work, but nowhere else? I'm tired of leaving my job and going straight home. I'm tired of not wanting to pick up the phone when it rings. I'm tired of not experiencing anything but work. Does anyone have any thoughts on what I can do?

11-19-2009, 06:18 PM	#2 (permalink)
Youandwe Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Oklahoma Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 172	Have you read Conversationally Speaking by Alan Garner ? It has really good practical advice about how to start conversations, how to set and acheive social goals, and a whole host of other things. That book may be helpful for you. You can get it at amazon.com __________________ Are you good enough to go to Heaven? Take the test at... wayofthemaster.com