Certain people that make you uncomfortable? - Social Anxiety Forum
X

Download the SAS Android App

Or switch to mobile version of the forums

X

Download the SAS iPhone App

Or switch to mobile version of the forums

Help/FAQLog InJoin SAS
Go Back   Social Anxiety Forum > Recovery > Coping With Social Anxiety

Reply
Old 08-16-2011, 10:02 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 41



Default Certain people that make you uncomfortable?

Do you ever feel like some people make you way more comfortable than others? I feel like I'm super comfortable around some people, even when I've just met them, to the point where I say "I'm shy" and they don't believe me! Other people just make me feel really awkward, and I clam up. It's hard to explain - it's like everything that comes out of my mouth sounds awkward and stupid. I can't figure out what kind of people make me feel this way - it's not that they're outgoing, because I'm sometimes comfortable around outgoing people, and it's not that they're awkward - in fact, it seems to be people that are less awkward, although that's not always the case.

Anyone else feel less comfortable around certain people? Do you know why? How do you handle it?
notcandace is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2011, 11:13 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Minnesota
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,135



Default

I'm the same way - couldn't tell you why though.

I think some people just put out a better vibe than others. Some people are just more welcoming and easy going than others. I don't really know what else it could be.
OldSchoolSkater is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2011, 11:37 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
Aedan's Avatar
 
Status: Spoiler-Man
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: London, UK
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Posts: 488



Default

I know exactly how you feel, but I don't know if our discomfort towards certain people have the same origins.

Whenever I like someone, it's like I'm scared to do anything wrong, so I get uncomfortable around them.

It's the same with conversations. The more I like someone, the less I want to talk to him or her. Does that make sense ? Yes, it makes sense even though it's a ****ing ****ty attitude.

How can I hope to someday be happy in my life if I shorten every conversation with people that might become my friends ?


Oh come on... now I'm complaining like a (word deleted, don't want to offense anyone...)
Aedan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2011, 12:27 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
Elleire's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MA
Gender: Female
Age: 24
Posts: 977



Default

Yes, I think I know what you mean. I know I am more nervous around people who ask me questions about myself, or people that stand or sit close to me.

But then, there are those who just make me nervous for no identifiable reason. No idea what that's about.
Elleire is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2011, 12:32 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
meganmila's Avatar
 
Status: Mega awesome
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Humid land
Gender: Female
Age: 24
Posts: 5,085



Default

I think those really bold and blunt people make me uncomfortable. Or really attractive people. Or maybe people that are just oozing confidence.
meganmila is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2011, 12:47 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
0lly's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: UK
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Posts: 1,028



Default

People from the North of England lol with their 'plain-speaking no-nonsense senses of humour' (basically they just mock you to your face then say 'don't be so soft lad' for not liking it)
0lly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2011, 01:21 PM   #7 (permalink)
Kon
 
Kon's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Toronto, Canada
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,811



Default

I'm like that also. I think I feel most uncomfortable around people from my past that I don't hang around anymore and then I see them after a few years. I get totally razzled and try to avoid them. People I don't know at all, don't bother me much except attractive women and some authority figures. Those 2 groups make me nervous, even if I don't know them. I also try not to have conversations with new people that I know I will see again (e.g. cashiers, clerks, customers/patients, etc.) because I hate having to small-talk every time I see them. But sometimes, it's unavoidable because they initiate conversations.
Kon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2011, 01:26 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
max87's Avatar
 
Status: Nowhere Man
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Mexico
Gender: Male
Age: 27
Posts: 676



Default

I can relate to what you are saying.
I find certain kind of people very intimidating and i am unable to function correctly amongst them.
My (few good) friends make me feel perfectly comfortable and like i belong.
__________________
I swear to you gentlemen, that to be overly conscious is a sickness, a real, thorough sickness.

- Fyodor Dostoevsky Notes From The Underground

"Nobody knows
How cold it blows
And nobody sees
How shaky my knees...

- Nick Drake Poor Boy

"Ooh, I keep mine hidden
The lies are so easy for you
Because you let yours slide
Into public view... "

- The Smiths I Keep Mine Hidden
max87 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2011, 01:40 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
comicbookkid's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Toronto
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Posts: 72



Default

Rule #1: If I don't know you, I will not speak to you or look at you.
comicbookkid is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2011, 01:51 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 70



Default

I feel that how uncomfortable I am around somebody is directly proportionate to how loud/outgoing they are.
__________________
Every time somebody thanks me, I feel like a superhero.
QueenEnna is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2011, 01:52 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
InfiniteBlaze's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Chicago, IL
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Posts: 10,699



Default

Attractive women make me feel uncomfortable.
InfiniteBlaze is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2011, 01:59 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
Status: User Requested Permanent Ban
Join Date: Aug 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 148



Default

Uhhh, everyone is like that, you don't have to have SA. There are people with, I wouldn't say real, but serious problems and you're here saying things like "Sometimes I'm shy ...anyone like that?" wth ?
I think I'll turn into comic book guy ... Most Obvious Thread ...Ever!

Ok, I might be a little pissed off today. Still, I think it's a valid point.
Daniel87 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2011, 02:00 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
TheLostCube's Avatar
 
Status: Forever alone
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: New York
Gender: Female
Posts: 98



Default

I feel really uncomfortable around loud or outgoing people. Especially in groups.
__________________
Those who clothe themselves in good deeds are well camouflaged.
-Captain Picard

Why do we fall sir? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.
-Alfred (Batman)

TheLostCube is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2011, 02:24 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
Status: Permanently Banned
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Toronto, Canada.
Gender: Male
Age: 27
Posts: 2,620



Default

I've lived with my grandmother up to this day and for as long as I've lived with her she still makes me very nervous and uncomfortable. If you knew my GM you would know why.

Not Uncomfortable in a I was scared of her way, no I loved and will always love my grandma but our relationship changed over the years. I constantly felt like I had to walk on egg shells around her.

I never felt good enough for her. I never spoke properly, I talked to much, I always had to watch how I talked and what I was saying not in terms of swearing but in the general way I spoke, using improper grammar, blabbering on like I am now, talking too loud or too soft, or using the wrong words.

Just having her come home from a week, weekend or month away made me nervous, she constantly found fault, this is not right, this is broken and that is broken and who ate this and who ate that and when she drank she found reason to get mad about stuff that happened years ago, what happened to my little Jesus statue (yeah the Jesus statue that fell and broke what 5 years ago)

She will ask about that, she'll say what are you planning to do with your life. There's always how she hawk eyes me at family events. Watching to see how many drinks I have, what I'm saying, how much or how little I'm eating.

The other person would be my mom, that is a story onto itself, if you knew my mom you would definitely understand why she makes me uncomfortable especially around other people. My mom is a wonderful, loving, down to earth person but it's my mom when she is in defensive or overprotective mode that scares me.

My mom will tell you off if you even look at me side ways which is embarrassing to me, having my mommy try to protect me, I don't ask her to do anything I stand up for myself but my mom has this urge to tell you to F off, argh I don't even want to go into details. One minute my mom was loving and fun to be around and the next she'd get angry and scratch herself and break down and cry or just act like you weren't there.
Ironpain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2011, 02:29 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
au Lait's Avatar
 
Status: poison apple
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: the beach
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,066



Default

Yes, I'm like this as well.

I tend to feel comfortable around people who make jokes, or seem easy going and kind. While I feel extremely uncomfortable around people who seem overly judgmental, especially if they make comments that are appearance related criticism about others.

Basically it all boils down to how much I think the person will judge me. If they seem hyper-critical of others, then I will assume that there's a good chance that I'm not impervious to that criticism, and I will pretty much shut down around them.
__________________
The future is here, and it's about a hundred feet above the Arby's.


au Lait is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2011, 03:58 PM   #16 (permalink)
 
Status: User Requested Permanent Ban
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,409



Default

I guess I'm different from a lot of people on this site. I actually have a harder time with easygoing, outgoing types because I have felt more judged by them in the past (they called me judgemental how ironic LOL). People that are more "no-nonsense" whether they are outgoing or not are less intimidating for me because there seems to be no fake social veneer.
Mae West is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-17-2011, 11:42 AM   #17 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 13



Default

People that are hard to get a smile/laugh out of, or don't talk, make me nervous. As well as shady people, extremely intelligent people, and attractive men. I become so self conscious!
wolfpackofone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-17-2011, 01:08 PM   #18 (permalink)
 
Status: Unabridged
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: The City of Angels
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Posts: 148



Default

I am uncomfortable around all females, and I do not know why...
hellinnorway is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-17-2011, 01:39 PM   #19 (permalink)
 
spacebound_rocketship's Avatar
 
Status: Be your own hero
Join Date: Nov 2009
Age: 19
Posts: 761



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by meganmila View Post
I think those really bold and blunt people make me uncomfortable. Or really attractive people. Or maybe people that are just oozing confidence.
This. Attractive guys especially, and super successful people.
__________________
Left SAS October 4th 2011.
It's time to try and live my life to it's fullest and live by the quote "Feel the fear and do it anyway"
spacebound_rocketship is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-17-2011, 02:14 PM   #20 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 857



Default

I think its to do with how much chemistry you have, I don't know I can tell as soon as I meet someone how I going to feel about being with them for however long. I kindof imagine what they think of me, and then it all goes from there.

But I also think its down to YOUR attitude/state of mind
misspeachy is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I make other people uncomfortable. Andy43 Coping With Social Anxiety 58 03-08-2014 07:52 AM
I make people feel uncomfortable BadVibes Frustration 59 01-13-2014 04:40 AM
Anyone feel like the make people uncomfortable? REC90 Coping With Social Anxiety 38 06-02-2013 12:10 PM
Some people make me really uncomfortable. Delicate Coping With Social Anxiety 17 12-07-2008 10:36 AM
Why does my SA make other people uncomfortable? kinda long YRU_So_Quiet? Frustration 1 07-19-2006 09:50 PM

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:34 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® ©2000-2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.