Certain people that make you uncomfortable? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-16-2011, 10:02 AM Thread Starter
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Certain people that make you uncomfortable?

Do you ever feel like some people make you way more comfortable than others? I feel like I'm super comfortable around some people, even when I've just met them, to the point where I say "I'm shy" and they don't believe me! Other people just make me feel really awkward, and I clam up. It's hard to explain - it's like everything that comes out of my mouth sounds awkward and stupid. I can't figure out what kind of people make me feel this way - it's not that they're outgoing, because I'm sometimes comfortable around outgoing people, and it's not that they're awkward - in fact, it seems to be people that are less awkward, although that's not always the case.

Anyone else feel less comfortable around certain people? Do you know why? How do you handle it?
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post #2 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-16-2011, 11:13 AM
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I'm the same way - couldn't tell you why though.

I think some people just put out a better vibe than others. Some people are just more welcoming and easy going than others. I don't really know what else it could be.
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post #3 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-16-2011, 11:37 AM
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I know exactly how you feel, but I don't know if our discomfort towards certain people have the same origins.

Whenever I like someone, it's like I'm scared to do anything wrong, so I get uncomfortable around them.

It's the same with conversations. The more I like someone, the less I want to talk to him or her. Does that make sense ? Yes, it makes sense even though it's a ****ing ****ty attitude.

How can I hope to someday be happy in my life if I shorten every conversation with people that might become my friends ?


Oh come on... now I'm complaining like a (word deleted, don't want to offense anyone...)
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post #4 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-16-2011, 12:27 PM
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Yes, I think I know what you mean. I know I am more nervous around people who ask me questions about myself, or people that stand or sit close to me.

But then, there are those who just make me nervous for no identifiable reason. No idea what that's about.
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post #5 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-16-2011, 12:32 PM
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I think those really bold and blunt people make me uncomfortable. Or really attractive people. Or maybe people that are just oozing confidence.
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post #6 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-16-2011, 12:47 PM
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People from the North of England lol with their 'plain-speaking no-nonsense senses of humour' (basically they just mock you to your face then say 'don't be so soft lad' for not liking it)
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post #7 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-16-2011, 01:21 PM
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I'm like that also. I think I feel most uncomfortable around people from my past that I don't hang around anymore and then I see them after a few years. I get totally razzled and try to avoid them. People I don't know at all, don't bother me much except attractive women and some authority figures. Those 2 groups make me nervous, even if I don't know them. I also try not to have conversations with new people that I know I will see again (e.g. cashiers, clerks, customers/patients, etc.) because I hate having to small-talk every time I see them. But sometimes, it's unavoidable because they initiate conversations.
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post #8 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-16-2011, 01:26 PM
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I can relate to what you are saying.
I find certain kind of people very intimidating and i am unable to function correctly amongst them.
My (few good) friends make me feel perfectly comfortable and like i belong.

I swear to you gentlemen, that to be overly conscious is a sickness, a real, thorough sickness.

- Fyodor Dostoevsky Notes From The Underground

"Its noble to be timid, illustrious to fail to act, sublime to be inept at living....

- Fernando Pessoa The Book Of Disquiet

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The place that I would like to live
Solitude sometimes is
When nothing really seems to fit..."

-Manic Street Preachers Solitude sometimes is
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post #9 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-16-2011, 01:40 PM
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Rule #1: If I don't know you, I will not speak to you or look at you.
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post #10 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-16-2011, 01:51 PM
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I feel that how uncomfortable I am around somebody is directly proportionate to how loud/outgoing they are.

Every time somebody thanks me, I feel like a superhero.
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post #11 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-16-2011, 01:52 PM
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Attractive women make me feel uncomfortable.
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post #12 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-16-2011, 01:59 PM
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Uhhh, everyone is like that, you don't have to have SA. There are people with, I wouldn't say real, but serious problems and you're here saying things like "Sometimes I'm shy ...anyone like that?" wth ?
I think I'll turn into comic book guy ... Most Obvious Thread ...Ever!

Ok, I might be a little pissed off today. Still, I think it's a valid point.
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post #13 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-16-2011, 02:00 PM
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I feel really uncomfortable around loud or outgoing people. Especially in groups.

Those who clothe themselves in good deeds are well camouflaged.
-Captain Picard

Why do we fall sir? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.
-Alfred (Batman)

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post #14 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-16-2011, 02:24 PM
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I've lived with my grandmother up to this day and for as long as I've lived with her she still makes me very nervous and uncomfortable. If you knew my GM you would know why.

Not Uncomfortable in a I was scared of her way, no I loved and will always love my grandma but our relationship changed over the years. I constantly felt like I had to walk on egg shells around her.

I never felt good enough for her. I never spoke properly, I talked to much, I always had to watch how I talked and what I was saying not in terms of swearing but in the general way I spoke, using improper grammar, blabbering on like I am now, talking too loud or too soft, or using the wrong words.

Just having her come home from a week, weekend or month away made me nervous, she constantly found fault, this is not right, this is broken and that is broken and who ate this and who ate that and when she drank she found reason to get mad about stuff that happened years ago, what happened to my little Jesus statue (yeah the Jesus statue that fell and broke what 5 years ago)

She will ask about that, she'll say what are you planning to do with your life. There's always how she hawk eyes me at family events. Watching to see how many drinks I have, what I'm saying, how much or how little I'm eating.

The other person would be my mom, that is a story onto itself, if you knew my mom you would definitely understand why she makes me uncomfortable especially around other people. My mom is a wonderful, loving, down to earth person but it's my mom when she is in defensive or overprotective mode that scares me.

My mom will tell you off if you even look at me side ways which is embarrassing to me, having my mommy try to protect me, I don't ask her to do anything I stand up for myself but my mom has this urge to tell you to F off, argh I don't even want to go into details. One minute my mom was loving and fun to be around and the next she'd get angry and scratch herself and break down and cry or just act like you weren't there.
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post #15 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-16-2011, 02:29 PM
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Yes, I'm like this as well.

I tend to feel comfortable around people who make jokes, or seem easy going and kind. While I feel extremely uncomfortable around people who seem overly judgmental, especially if they make comments that are appearance related criticism about others.

Basically it all boils down to how much I think the person will judge me. If they seem hyper-critical of others, then I will assume that there's a good chance that I'm not impervious to that criticism, and I will pretty much shut down around them.

The future is here, and it's about a hundred feet above the Arby's.


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post #16 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-16-2011, 03:58 PM
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I guess I'm different from a lot of people on this site. I actually have a harder time with easygoing, outgoing types because I have felt more judged by them in the past (they called me judgemental how ironic LOL). People that are more "no-nonsense" whether they are outgoing or not are less intimidating for me because there seems to be no fake social veneer.
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post #17 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-17-2011, 11:42 AM
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People that are hard to get a smile/laugh out of, or don't talk, make me nervous. As well as shady people, extremely intelligent people, and attractive men. I become so self conscious!
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post #18 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-17-2011, 01:08 PM
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I am uncomfortable around all females, and I do not know why...
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post #19 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-17-2011, 01:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meganmila View Post
I think those really bold and blunt people make me uncomfortable. Or really attractive people. Or maybe people that are just oozing confidence.
This. Attractive guys especially, and super successful people.

Left SAS October 4th 2011.
It's time to try and live my life to it's fullest and live by the quote "Feel the fear and do it anyway"
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post #20 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-17-2011, 02:14 PM
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I think its to do with how much chemistry you have, I don't know I can tell as soon as I meet someone how I going to feel about being with them for however long. I kindof imagine what they think of me, and then it all goes from there.

But I also think its down to YOUR attitude/state of mind
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