Being unable to relate to people - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-03-2012, 08:26 AM Thread Starter
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Being unable to relate to people

So I have this problem, im in the last year of high school and im basically a loner now. I have a few people that I casually talk with but I Have no "real" friends it seems except 1 whos now in college and we hardly ever see each other anymore.

People that I used to be able to have great conversations with, I just cant relate to them anymore. All they talk about is cars and there jobs at mcdonalds. My interests and hobbies are just alot different then theres and it can lead to some pretty stale and awkward conversations. I find now that I just spend most of my time listening to music and in the library on my own.

Does anyone else have problems relating to people like I do?
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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-03-2012, 08:36 AM
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Yes, I also have difficulty relating to people, and I'm sure they also have trouble relating to me. That's what happens when someone who doesn't conform to the norm (has a stereotypical job, social life, party-goer) tries to socialize with someone who is. I have an unconventional life at the moment with odd interests, so it's hard to find someone that's also "odd" that I could potentially connect with.

I tried to actively put myself out there and make friends before and I simply couldn't relate to them on any level whatsoever, they seemed like your stereotypical college student. I've only had one true friend (not anymore) and she was quite the oddball like me who happened to have common interests. I'm not sure where it meet more people like that.

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post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-03-2012, 08:37 AM
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Oh, do I ever!
My interests don't line up very well with the majority. So if a conversation ever comes down to personal interests I have to pretend that I care about the (more socially acceptable) things they like.

There's seriously nothing I can use as a conversation starter with regular people. All they care about is sports and drinking and parties. I wish I'd see somebody my age crocheting in public or wearing an obscure band/comic T-shirt, or reading a book I like. Where are my people at? D:
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post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-03-2012, 09:17 AM
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yes its hard to meet people you click with.i find most conversations revolve around gossip, sports, cars or getting laid if you are a guy.tbh i find talking about these things for any length of time to be quite boring.i am an eccentric person and getting older so its very difficult to find likewise people.i dont have much advice other than just keep throwing yourself out there but thats difficult if you have sa and other issues.
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post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-03-2012, 09:20 AM
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I can not relate with many ppl coz i am so different then everyone

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post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-03-2012, 02:28 PM
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Yes, this is one reason I have only one friend at the moment. Most people, even those who share my interests, just aren't into chattering about them for fun. Go figure I'm interested in stuff that nobody else much cares for.

It seems the only people who ever show interest in communicating with me aren't remotely interested in my interests, so of course, we end up with nothing to chatter about! Then it gets really awkward because I get bored of communicating and can think of nothing to say, it's just so tedious to keep it up. And the other party usually gets offended or hurt. I've tried hard but I just don't have much incentive or energy to keep up communication with somebody if we have NOTHING major in common, in regards to personal interests. I've had people express anger that I don't "give them a chance," but really, what is there for us to talk about...? I get tired of random smalltalk; I want somebody I can share my interests with, without feeling like I'm boring or confusing them. And I want them to express their shared interests in return. Back and forth. Both of us passionate about the same things.

I'm lucky to have a friend at the moment, though I feel I have to be careful not to overwhelm her with my interests and such. The last time I had a friend with all my interests in common was around 1990. (She moved away and lost all interest in keeping in touch.)

If I don't reply to you, it's NOTHING PERSONAL. It's my ANXIETY.

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post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-03-2012, 04:58 PM
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I feel unable to relate to people because when they talk about their jobs, their friends, their kids, their vacations, their fun times out, it's like this whole other world that I don't belong in. I don't have any of these. I have so little going on in my life and I am not the greatest conversationalist. Also, in the real world who wants to hear about me and my issues anyway? I would be embarrassed if they asked me about my life anyway. It's so lame when the only person you go out with is your mom and dad.
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post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-03-2012, 05:00 PM
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i feel your pain, i just moved to another state and everyone here talks about stupid ****, im not into any of there things, so it sucks
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post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-03-2012, 05:08 PM
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i think i would consider to be similar to you. in the uni i know only 3 ppl that i consider acquantances not friends. but on the other hand ive gotten use to not talking to alot of ppl.
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post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-03-2012, 05:25 PM
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I have the same problem, other than my small group of friends (like 3 people) I cannot relate to anybody at all.

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