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Old 01-06-2010, 05:32 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default Being called stupid and slow

Hi everyone,
Just had having a hard time at work with different various people "joking" around with me calling me stupid and that I am slow at my job..Its happend various times..I work retail but after this year I am done with it..no more fighthing the good fight..I havent given up I just know my limitations after working around people for a while I just know its to much stress. These comments come around due to my social anxiety..I am a hard worker but its just that when I have people around me I loose focus and forget things all the time..I just get fulustered and just slow down trying to think about the best way to due certain task so the managers wont yell at me..so all of this is complenty SA driven..It doesnt help that I take klonopin which might cause short term memory loss..I have had jobs where I work with just a couple people and dont have the pressure of alot of people being around and I am just fine..I need help from you guys..please! A couple questions..has anyone else had these type of comments directed toward you? And if so how do you respond? Second of all is it really worth it? To do this day in and day out knowing its torture for my well being and overall self esteem? I think i need to look for another job..All comments are great appreciated

Jon
South Carolina
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Old 01-06-2010, 06:01 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Its just how guys bond. There are just trying to make you laugh I think (its hard to say cause i don't know these guys). I have been called similar things at work and I just laugh with them and everyone else seem to laugh with me so i let it go and once and awhile throw in a verbal jab when i see someone else make a mistake. Maby its just cause your a gamecock fan? lol Go Irish.
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Old 01-06-2010, 06:54 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Sometimes people think that I'm really stupid, and I'm quite the opposite, so recently I just saw WHY people call me those things, and its b/c I don't act mindfully all the time, I'm just in a daze. Other times I do weird things b/c I have SA, and people don't know that so they think I'm dumb or something.
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Old 01-06-2010, 10:46 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Yes, looking for a better work environment seems best. In some environments there's a culture of p*** taking between males. This appears to be what you are describing. Are any managers or supervisors involved in it?

My issues were always noticed by supervisors and managers; co-workers kept quiet and only spoke behind my back. They were too keen to take advantage of vulnerability and difference, and not give benefit of the doubt. I would have very little opportunity to respond or even realise there were problems before managers ejected me. In the job market I am like teflon because nothing sticks.
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Old 01-06-2010, 10:52 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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i sometimes feel people look down on me as stupid and naive and slow because of SA and i hate it because i act less ditzy than a lot of other girls my age sometimes. it just upsets me so much. its like people dont take you seriously
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Old 01-07-2010, 07:23 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
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This is interesting as I'm a similar age and feel the same. For me it's **** like "why are you doing it the hard way?" In reality my mind is just miles away thinking about my problems, so I'm not really focused... I then get tagged a dumb ****, and I really have no comeback.
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Old 01-07-2010, 07:59 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
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I would just shock them with my intelligence.....the fools
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Old 05-21-2010, 10:35 AM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Yeah, I've often wondered if people think that of me in certain situations, but I don't think I've ever actually had someone say it. I'm sorry, that is really mean of them .


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Old 05-21-2010, 10:55 AM   #9 (permalink)
 
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today i had a good experiance :

one of the popular guys asked another:,...and how was it hanging around with that looser , hes so stupid and slow(he meant me),
and then he defended me and said to him: hes okay, hes okay

i hope it made him atleast think about it
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Old 05-21-2010, 01:15 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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Yup know how you feel.

I have actually been written up for 'being too slow' and 'not following the flow' or something to that effect. Which really upsets me because when someone else at work is doing similar but they have better social connections then it seems to be just fine. And I work my butt off 90% of the time.

being thought of or called stupid is one of my biggest fears! So if I do something even little that I feel was stupid I beat myself up over it because surely someone else thinks I am stupid because of it.
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Old 06-10-2010, 02:11 AM   #11 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by triptothebrain View Post
If you show signs of weakness, insecure people might catch on to any vulnerabilities you have and capitalize on them to feel better about themselves. It's sad but it does happen.
it happens to me quiet a lot
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Old 08-08-2010, 09:56 AM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Yeah, I've experienced people thinking I'm slow and stupid, as well. I've had a couple of supervisors and coworkers who would nitpick more at me than anyone else. The thing about me is that even though I have struggled with social anxiety, people like that tick me off to the point where I will argue back and let them know not to ***** with me. When I'm really angry, I can give them a good dose of their own medicine. Even if I am slow at the job, it's none of that person's business, so therefore he or she is being nosy and minding my business, when it's not called for. So if they do make comments, just say "It's none of your business, so stop violating my privacy and making it harder for me to get my work done, otherwise I'll report you for harassment". That's the kind of thing that will scare them off, unless they really want to be annoying. If you do that a couple of times, they will waddle off, with thier tails between their legs and be less likely to bother you.
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Old 08-08-2010, 10:18 AM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gamecock View Post
Hi everyone,
Just had having a hard time at work with different various people "joking" around with me calling me stupid and that I am slow at my job..Its happend various times..I work retail but after this year I am done with it..no more fighthing the good fight..I havent given up I just know my limitations after working around people for a while I just know its to much stress. These comments come around due to my social anxiety..I am a hard worker but its just that when I have people around me I loose focus and forget things all the time..I just get fulustered and just slow down trying to think about the best way to due certain task so the managers wont yell at me..so all of this is complenty SA driven..It doesnt help that I take klonopin which might cause short term memory loss..I have had jobs where I work with just a couple people and dont have the pressure of alot of people being around and I am just fine..I need help from you guys..please! A couple questions..has anyone else had these type of comments directed toward you? And if so how do you respond? Second of all is it really worth it? To do this day in and day out knowing its torture for my well being and overall self esteem? I think i need to look for another job..All comments are great appreciated

Jon
South Carolina
I had quite a similar situation when I was a waitress for three months. I was just much too spacey for the job, and would constantly forget or mix up people's orders, and my boss would make comments that implied that I was stupid. I pretty easily maintain a scholarship level GPA, and I'm capable of grasping a lot of different things, so I know I'm not stupid. But I had to admit that waitressing just wasn't the job for me. Too much stimuli, and I'd get nervous and **** things up. I work as a cashier now to save my tuition, and it sucks cuz you miss out on the tips, but I also don't have to deal with a boss calling me stupid and a very good possibility of being fired.

On the one hand, it's not good to constantly give up on things and let the SA win. But on the other, there are some times where realistically, you're just not going to be suited for a particular activity and you'd be better off finding something else. Unless you're passionate about retail, I'd recommend finding slightly more independent work.
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Old 08-08-2010, 11:08 AM   #14 (permalink)
 
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Ahh...took the words right out of my mouth.


I have always been someone who has a slower reaction and learning time. This, in part, is due to my Predominantly Inattentive ADHD, which when left unmedicated, makes me a completely sluggish, luggish person. I feel a large part of it, though, is my SA and fear of judgement. Seriously, the standard people with SA hold themselves to can be likened to torture. The constant overanalysis and anxiety makes it really difficult to survive in this society of competition and fast-moving people.

I always attributed the slowness to being "stupid", but upon reevaluating and talking to people who have studied and interacted with all kinds of brains, I have come to better understanding and have realized it's simply the way I work.
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Old 08-08-2010, 11:48 AM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Didn't have to deal with much from co-workers, but I worked at Panera for two summers. Getting chewed out by a customer happened at least once daily. You've got to take all their comments or else you're out of a job. The customer is always right....sadly.

I was called various names, many expletive. I remember one of my co-workers being called a fatass, too.

Retail sucks, it seriously does. You've got to deal with some mega douchers.
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Old 08-08-2010, 11:58 AM   #16 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by factmonger View Post
Ahh...took the words right out of my mouth.


I have always been someone who has a slower reaction and learning time. This, in part, is due to my Predominantly Inattentive ADHD, which when left unmedicated, makes me a completely sluggish, luggish person. I feel a large part of it, though, is my SA and fear of judgement. Seriously, the standard people with SA hold themselves to can be likened to torture. The constant overanalysis and anxiety makes it really difficult to survive in this society of competition and fast-moving people.

I always attributed the slowness to being "stupid", but upon reevaluating and talking to people who have studied and interacted with all kinds of brains, I have come to better understanding and have realized it's simply the way I work.

This is basically me, as well. I definitely think that I have inattentive ADD. I haen't been properly diagnosed, but I have always had a hard time focusing on just one thing. I can sit and act like I am focused but really I am not. Usually my mind will be racing and I am very disorganized. If I am working on one task, I can't stay focused for very long. I can't use an organizer book because that would just be disorganized as well. I am also an INFP, and from what I gather, a lot of people who have an INFP personality, end up also having Inattentive ADD. So in my opinion, all of these things come together and makes sense as to why I act the way I do.

I always liked jobs where I could mostly work by myself. I liked having a few coworkers around, but as long as the task required working by myself, without much external stimuli, I was happy. I've also done the retail jobs, and those are not my cup of tea.
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