Asking a girl to lunch? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-21-2010, 09:13 PM Thread Starter
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Asking a girl to lunch?

I met this girl last week at a church camp. She was definitely flirting with me the whole week and we sort of became friends and by the end of the week I realized that I really liked her. I don't know if I am ready for a relationship but I really just want to hang out with her again. I did not get her phone number but we are facebook friends. How do I just ask her to a nice, casual lunch? I would have to ask her on facebook because there is no other way that I can contact her.

I do not remember the last time I have asked someone to hang out with me. I do not think I have ever hung out with a girl one on one before. I just need advice as to how to not sound like a creep or stalker when I ask her to lunch. If I could do this, this could be a major turning point in my social life. Thanks!
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post #2 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-21-2010, 09:28 PM
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im not the best person to give you advice but hear me out as far as asking her just tell her... hey how you been blah whatever else u want to say blah just wondering if you want to grab lunch sometime if she likes you she definitely say yes. and one thing to dont think of as a major turning point you'll always be disapointed ...nothings as bad or as good as it seems but just have fun good luck

"You're sitting there thinking your thoughts
They are not about what is but what is not
You are sitting there breathing in your breath
You are seldom breathing life but mostly death"
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post #3 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-21-2010, 09:35 PM
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Be casual about it, something like "hey would you like to have lunch with me this week / or X day of this week ?"

If your comfortable with her in a facebook/frienship level then she will know you are no creep or stalker.

good luck :-)
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post #4 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-21-2010, 09:42 PM
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and one thing to dont think of as a major turning point you'll always be disapointed ...nothings as bad or as good as it seems but just have fun good luck
Definitely agree with this one. Don't put any extra significance on it-- It's just a girl and there are plenty of others out there that you will probably like. As for this one, just keep it casual like accepting myself said. It's never considered a bad thing to just ask someone out to lunch so just don't overthink it.
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post #5 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-21-2010, 09:55 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks for the advice you guys I really appreciate it. I was being a little dramatic saying that this could be a major turning point in my social life because life will always be full of disappointments. I will let you guys know how it goes. I wish you all good luck in your personal endeavors! God bless
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post #6 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-21-2010, 10:10 PM
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Dude, if you think she likes you, just ask her out. She'll probably say yes. Grab the bull by the horns!
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post #7 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-21-2010, 10:22 PM
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i had a girl where i worked awhile ago (i was pretty sure she liked me from the start) and it came up in a conversation where i told her i was selling electronics/mp3 players on ebay and she said she was interested in buying and ask for my number but it was just a convenient way of her to get my number. this was also my very last day of the temp job.

so now that just gave us something to talk about and an excuse to meet up again. then there are things like help me put songs on it, set it up etc.... lots of meeting time.

so you can bring up stuff like that which gives opportunities for them to get together with you.
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post #8 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-22-2010, 08:03 AM
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Everyone is giving good advice, I think I love you guys. I must request to be updated on what happens man!!!!??? pls
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post #9 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-22-2010, 08:09 AM
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baseballdude - please answer the following:

1. Is she also someone who has SA? or is she a "normal" person?

2. Is she shy or outgoing?

3. Is she a talkative and happy person?

answer these 3 questions and if I can help, I would probably guarantee you a 90% chance she WILL go out to lunch with you... and you WILL get to kiss her
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post #10 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-22-2010, 09:36 AM Thread Starter
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baseballdude - please answer the following:

1. Is she also someone who has SA? or is she a "normal" person?

2. Is she shy or outgoing?

3. Is she a talkative and happy person?

answer these 3 questions and if I can help, I would probably guarantee you a 90% chance she WILL go out to lunch with you... and you WILL get to kiss her
1 and 2. She is a pretty outgoing person. Definitely not shy.

3. She is very happy and talkative.
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post #11 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-25-2010, 08:24 PM Thread Starter
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Just letting everybody know I sent her a message on facebook four days ago asking if she wanted to go out to lunch sometime and she hasn't responded. She has been active on facebook she just has not messaged me back. She basically blew me off. I really thought we hit it off at camp and she was for sure flirting with me there and I would not have expressed any interest in her if she wasn't flirting with me. Maybe she just thought I was too desperate or creepy or something. Gosh, I don't know. Girls suck
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post #12 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-25-2010, 09:31 PM
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Just because a girl is nice to you, doesn't mean she wants to date you. I've learned that the hard way (After I told a girl that I liked her, she removed me from her facebook friends)
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post #13 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-25-2010, 09:41 PM
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oh that sucks. atleast you tried. :/
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post #14 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-25-2010, 09:43 PM
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@mbp86 Truth. Also, just because a girl holds hands wit you and kisses you and you spend nights at her place on occassion doesn't mean you two are going out, apparently...
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post #15 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-25-2010, 10:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by accepting myself View Post
Be casual about it, something like "hey would you like to have lunch with me this week / or X day of this week ?"

If your comfortable with her in a facebook/frienship level then she will know you are no creep or stalker.

good luck :-)
exactly. Just ask. "Would you like to go out for lunch sometime?" This is a perfect setup. You can see where it goes, and possibly hang out after, or go your separate ways if it's bombing. It seems like things always work out well when you just do something instead of debating it.

Good luck.
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post #16 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-25-2010, 11:41 PM
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Oh I tried to do this a couple months ago, facebook I guess is worth a shot if you have no other choice and know them pretty well. But you should really try to ask her in person. If you do that she doesn't have an easy out, and will more likely give you a shot. Many girls want you to be a 'man' because that's what attracts them, a facebook message is impersonal and seems like you're not taking charge.
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post #17 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-25-2010, 11:58 PM
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I suspect "normal" folks would simply ask and not think so much about it as you and the rest of us with SA would.

Given that you two met at a Church Camp I suspect she fully understands & expects that lunch is not some code word for food followed by sex.

DEA agents, being on par with Nazi war criminals, should be executed for crimes against humanity. They are guilty of inflicting mass suffering upon legitimate patients.
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post #18 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-26-2010, 12:02 AM
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Quote:
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Just because a girl is nice to you, doesn't mean she wants to date you.
Very true, but perhaps he'd like to have her as a friend even if there is no romantic potential. After all, most of us on SAS don't have many friends. Actually, there are plenty of us (including myself) who have zero, so it's not like making a friend would be some total loss.

At best, he finds a GF. Or he find a friend. At worst, he finds they don't like each other and is back where he started. What does he have to lose?

DEA agents, being on par with Nazi war criminals, should be executed for crimes against humanity. They are guilty of inflicting mass suffering upon legitimate patients.
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post #19 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-26-2010, 02:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by accepting myself View Post
Be casual about it, something like "hey would you like to have lunch with me this week / or X day of this week ?"

If your comfortable with her in a facebook/frienship level then she will know you are no creep or stalker.

good luck :-)
This
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post #20 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-26-2010, 08:21 AM
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Very true, but perhaps he'd like to have her as a friend even if there is no romantic potential. After all, most of us on SAS don't have many friends. Actually, there are plenty of us (including myself) who have zero, so it's not like making a friend would be some total loss.

At best, he finds a GF. Or he find a friend. At worst, he finds they don't like each other and is back where he started. What does he have to lose?
Possibly true but I only want to be friends with women that I want to have sex with lol.
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