Are you totally amazed that you managed to lose your virginity or graduate college?

[lizbeth]

You know those times when...
-you're totally petrified to walk into the grocery store alone
-you do everything you can and go out of your way to avoid the cute guy/girl next door or
-the cop knocks on your door cause your boss is worried about you not showing up to work for a week and a half...

At times like those, I'm totally amazed that I managed to...
-lose my virginity
-graduate from college
-go on a BLIND date or
-hold down a job for 2 and a half years

Even more amazingly, manage to do it all without alcohol involved! Some times I don't even recognize myself now, and I can almost convince myself that none of that happened.

What surprises you most about your past? Or what are you most proud of yourself for accomplishing?

[Ape in space]

I always expected to graduate from university, so I wasn't so amazed when I did. Academics were pretty much the only thing in my life I had under control. But there have been times in the last few years when I surprised myself. The first year or two of grad school were a disaster for me because of anxiety/depression, and that made me lose confidence in my abilities. But often I manage to solve problems that I initially believed were beyond my capabilities, and when I do I am totally amazed at myself. A few months ago I solved a problem I had been banging my head against for over 3 months, and when I finally solved it I gained a huge amount of confidence. I'm still riding that wave of confidence, although I'm sure I'll screw it up soon.

As for virginity.... still nowhere close to solving that one.

[AussiePea]

Well I never managed the lose my virginity thing but graduating uni, working overseas for 3 months and traveling abroad on my own are certainly things which I never thought possible at my worst (and which I was still struggling with during those achievements).

[rednosereindeer]

No, I'm amazed that so little has changed over the course of so many years.

[whiteXcloud]

Originally Posted by rednosereindeer

No, I'm amazed that so little has changed over the course of so many years.

This.

[SlickBritches]

I feel the same way. I look back and try to think of whats changed since then, but I don't know. When I finished school and moved away, I just isolated myself outside of work and things got so much worse. I'm more than halfway through my 20s and I can't make friends or even flirt with a cute girl. I've got to figure something out.

[confusd]

bro. loosing my virginity was the easiest for me. to bad it was with the school slut...

[Iced]

No I'm not surprised I lost my virginity. I just need to market myself, nothing wrong with the product. Hard to have sex often when you are sitting on the computer.

I don't want to finish my college degree. The only reason I am doing it is because my mom believes education comes on a piece of paper framed in a picture frame. I took a semester off with no intention of returning. But now I'm reading on how to make friends, so while I go through annoyance, I do not have to go through total hell.

Both are related. All you have to do is talk. I remember in school, I'd go on time, leave on time, not make any small talk to anyone. Not the guy who looks like he'd become my best friend, not the girl I think would become my longtime girlfriend, or the other girl who would give me crabs. I always said I will talk to someone, but this was when I believed college education was worthwhile. This summer semester, I will try to get the best grades possible, but its not my focus.

My focus is meeting people and beating SA. Of course this is easier said than done. But seriously this is the only way. We can complain (FFUUU filters) all we want here about our problem, but we will always get the same end result if we don't change anything, even the minor.

[IcemanKilmer]

What's hilarious is that I never did graduate college and have never gotten laid. The title to this thread made me laugh because I'm even more unusual than someone saying they are unusual.

[tiffany88]

You're amazed you managed to lose your virginity, and you're a girl?

[heerumble]

When I was 18 and had never gotten the courage to ask a girl out, I was pretty sure I'd never lose my virginity. But luckily as soon as I got to college I was lucky enough to find a girl who was equal parts awkward yet still willing to be the one to initiate the first steps towards a relationship and a couple months after that everything that I thought would never happen did.

And now it's 5 years later.. I was with that girl for almost 3 years but I feel like that experience did A LOT to cure my anxiety with women.

College wasn't too tough but I'm still waiting to be able to hold a job...

[Hot Chocolate]

Errr...I didn't manage to lose my virginity and I did graduate college but that's because the standard was way below me and I just breezed through and graduated in a year instead of the usual two years.

Now I have another college and i'm beginning to lose interest and also I have other shallow priorities....but so far, college hasn't been helping me out with work lately...so i'm going to stall for a while if it means paying more money to get back in later.

[IcemanKilmer]

Originally Posted by tiffany88

You're amazed you managed to lose your virginity, and you're a girl?

Touche.

[lizbeth]

Originally Posted by tiffany88

You're amazed you managed to lose your virginity, and you're a girl?

lol Yeh, pretty much.
Problems with trust, socialization, depression, not venturing outside my apartment, wanting to avoid every cute guy, etc. can make that a little difficult...

[lizbeth]

Originally Posted by IcemanKilmer

Touche.

How's it easier for a female?
Its not the "finding a guy" part that is difficult...it's the getting close to people, trusting, going places to meet people, and fear of what people think that is the difficult part. The social anxiety part...

[RFD1337]

Originally Posted by lizbeth

How's it different for a female?
Its not the "finding a guy" part that is difficult...it's the getting close to people, trusting, going places to meet people, and fear of what people think that is the difficult part.

I agree,it shouldn't just be about finding some dude to jump on.

[cellophanegirl]

I'm about to graduate college but I'm not amazed by it. I'm amazed that I managed to apply for college in the first place. Once I got here, and got into the routine, I wasn't surprised I managed to stick it out. I'm very good at being in a routine, so once I got unpacked in my first dorm room, I wasn't so surprised that I managed to not leave.

I will be amazed if I manage to get a real job that I'm actually qualified for (including if I manage to even send in the application in the first place). Or really even any job that I'm even partially qualified for.

I still haven't lost my virginity yet, so no amazement there.

I am, however, amazed that I will miss my friends after I graduate. The switch from high school to college was NBD because I had no high school friends, so even if I hadn't made friends in college it wouldn't have been a big change for me. I'm pretty amazed that I actually managed to make some friends who I like pretty decently, and that I'm scared of losing them after graduation.

Even though I'm graduating I still feel inadequate, and like I have no marketable skills, and didn't participate much in school outside of going to required classes. But I guess if even being able to get through school is a big deal for some people, then it's kind of cool that I'm graduating. So that makes me feel a little better I guess.

[IcemanKilmer]

Originally Posted by lizbeth

How's it different for a female?
Its not the "finding a guy" part that is difficult...it's the getting close to people, trusting, going places to meet people, and fear of what people think that is the difficult part.

The entire dating scene is easier. A woman only has to show up to a bar and sit there and she has men approach her. A man can sit down at a bar and be alone all night.

Same thing with online dating. Women getting bombarded with messages while men get ignored far more often.

There is always that next guy that is desperate for sex. It never fails. The way gender roles are set up, women by far have the ball in their court in the dating world.

[InfiniteBlaze]

I'll let you know in about 4 years, lol.

[lizbeth]

Originally Posted by IcemanKilmer

The entire dating scene is easier. A woman only has to show up to a bar and sit there and she has men approach her. A man can sit down at a bar and be alone all night.

Same thing with online dating. Women getting bombarded with messages while men get ignored far more often.

There is always that next guy that is desperate for sex. It never fails. The way gender roles are set up, women by far have the ball in their court in the dating world.

I agree with you. But you add in the social anxiety and it makes it a completely different world. If that same woman has social anxiety and backs into her shell, she's not going to step foot in that bar or follow through with a date with the guy she met online-- she won't be getting laid just like the desperate guy sitting alone at the bar. Its very difficult to have sex if the thing that is holding you back is a fear of people (for males and females alike).

You make it sound like its surprising that any woman is a virgin, because there are so many men in bars providing them opportunity. I'm not amazed that I lost my virginity because I went into a bar and did eenie meenie miney moo to find a random guy. I'm amazed I lost my virginity because I was in a long term relationship with a guy who I loved and shared my life with (something I am completely terrified of now and am amazed that I ever had the courage to do).