Social Anxiety Support

eladamrine · 04-15-2009, 08:44 AM

Anyone find that you feel loads better after having alcohol? Like after a few drinks all your anxiety and worries slip away, and you are able to do things socially you never would be able to do normally? Like at a party recently I got drunk and i was able to carry on a conversation with a girl and even hooked up. Normally i'd be so anxious and timid i'd barely be able to utter anything and just pretend i'm busy doing something else. I'm not saying that you should become an alcoholic, but it raises the interesting question if we do have something interesting to say but its just the fact we're so damn nervous all the time and worried about what people think that makes our mind go blank and what we say to come out as weird.

Fairyxo · 04-15-2009, 08:54 AM

It's really not good to drink with SA, those feelings are not good because they do lead to alcoholism.

lars · 04-15-2009, 09:01 AM

.

StevenGlansberg · 04-15-2009, 10:30 AM

I've hit both extremes. Sometimes I'll feel extremely happy and willing to talk, not self conscious at all. Other times it makes my anxiety 100 times worse. It depends if I'm surrounded by a group of people I know or a bunch of strangers.

I've also had times where the day after drinking I'll be hungover but in a extremely sociable and comfortable mood. I really wish I could bottle up that feeling.

I think it shows that there's clearly some kind of chemical imbalance in our brains. Not that alcohol is the answer, but maybe that medication can help.

mud · 04-15-2009, 10:36 AM

dutch courage works most of the time
at first anyway
I only drink when I'm feeling good already so that it doesn't feel like its becoming a crutch. That leads to trouble.

Black Dog · 04-15-2009, 10:58 AM

Drinking with friends is fun, but I find alcohol is pretty much useless for making myself meet new people. I actually find drinking a ton of coke makes me a lot more outgoing though. For some reason, the caffeine calms me down instead of making me more nervous.

Hoofservant · 04-15-2009, 11:34 AM

Drinking does allow me to loosen up and feel like I can be my authentic self in social settings. Which feels great at the time, but once I sober up I'm so remorseful and end up spending the next day analyzing every word my drunk self said to everyone. That's why I haven't wound up an alcoholic. So far.

mooseknuckles · 04-15-2009, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hoofservant

Drinking does allow me to loosen up and feel like I can be my authentic self in social settings. Which feels great at the time, but once I sober up I'm so remorseful and end up spending the next day analyzing every word my drunk self said to everyone. That's why I haven't wound up an alcoholic. So far.

Haha I'm with you. Drunk dialing gets me in trouble too.

BabyBlue123 · 04-15-2009, 04:52 PM

To steven:

I've also found that with drinking, its either one extreme or the other.

As well, the day after drinking, I usually feel really sociable and calm too! It's quite weird.

imt · 04-15-2009, 06:40 PM

Royce said it best.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Royce Da 5'9"

I'm married to a bottle of Petrone, wearing a wedding dress.

I feel very confident after drinking.

BeachGaBulldog · 04-15-2009, 06:44 PM

When I was a lot younger, I used alcohol to help me break out of my shell like at parties. After awhile, I just didn't like the feeling of using something that was contributing to not being myself. I started to just be myself, and at least that made me feel better.

sanspants08 · 04-15-2009, 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by imt

Royce said it best.

I feel very confident after drinking.

Lol! Yup. I have a history of getting myself into severely stupid situations while drunk, but nonetheless, I still love the booze.

Chrysalii · 04-15-2009, 07:43 PM

It's odd for me
It lessens the anxiety, but I feel like crap. Kind of like watching someone push me down a cliff and being forced to watch (out of body experience not included).
Or like unleashing a wild dog. Not much you can do other than let it run it's course and clean up the mess.
Or in hopefully better chosen words, I'm aware of my intoxication and the implications of it, but am helpless to stop it.

Seven Island Suite · 04-15-2009, 07:57 PM

I feel i'm only my true self when inebriated. i drink to feel normal in social situations. other people are completely out of control when wasted, i feel like my anxiety level drops to normal proportions of everyone else when they are sober so i'm still in control. is it any wonder i drink so much.

mjatte · 04-15-2009, 08:19 PM

it helps A LOT. I don't get really drunk, just enough to get a good buzz. one thing that annoys me is how everyone can smell alcohol right away, even if I have just 2 drinks..

Traci · 04-15-2009, 10:14 PM

I'm so much more relaxed when I drink in a social setting, it's nice but I don't make a habit of it. I dunno if I'm more social, I'm just more comfortable I'd say.

endtroducing · 04-15-2009, 10:51 PM

Alcohol definitely helps bring that anxiety level down. Sometimes to the point where I can become way too friendly and obnoxious. It's not always liquid courage though. Yea, I could have a couple drinks and be very loose around friends, orr I could have like 8 in me at a big party, and still feel really self-conscious.

Biscuit · 04-16-2009, 02:12 PM

it makes me so happy. That's why I like it mostly. I'm still anxious though, just in a more normal way. I will talk to people without a second's thought (not overly chatty..i often feel like Im the quietest one there) but I'm so annoying because i'm always telling the people i'm with that people will hear us. i have such a deeply ingrained fear of people thinking badly of me that I told my friend about 15 times in 5 mins 9and quite loudly too) that people think we're being rude. i'm pretty sure at that point I was being louder than her but whatever.

The problem with drinking, I have realized, is that too often you forget what you do/did, but remember what everyone else said or did...meaning they know what you said when you let your guard down (fun fun fun for SA brian to freak out over the next day). Sparingly, it's ok. I'm actually usually the one who fakes taking a drink/keeps an eye on how much I've drunk because I hate blacking out (same reason).

Biscuit · 04-16-2009, 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by endtroducing

It's not always liquid courage though. Yea, I could have a couple drinks and be very loose around friends, orr I could have like 8 in me at a big party, and still feel really self-conscious.

I've found this before. I've been super uninhibited with just a few drinks when i'm at a friend's house, but I was out somewhere recently and drank a bunch but just became crap at coordination. mentally, I felt the same (which was wonderful...i still fall down but i dont get to think its funny)

agape · 04-16-2009, 06:23 PM

I have found that personally, my SA ceases to exist once i've had a few drinks. Completely disappears. hell, once i've had a few drinks i'm walking up to random girls in clubs and getting with them, something that I doubt I could ever do sober.
However, the more drinks I have (to make me feel more confident), the more depressed and lonely I feel if i'm alone in my bedroom when I get home, and boy, i've had some borderline suicidal moments in the past.
In fact, the only times i've cried in my entire life have been when i've been drinking and am alone in my bed.
So, to conclude, alcohol in my experience has it's good and bad points.

04-15-2009, 08:44 AM	#1 (permalink)
eladamrine Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 20	Anyone find alcohol makes you feel better? Anyone find that you feel loads better after having alcohol? Like after a few drinks all your anxiety and worries slip away, and you are able to do things socially you never would be able to do normally? Like at a party recently I got drunk and i was able to carry on a conversation with a girl and even hooked up. Normally i'd be so anxious and timid i'd barely be able to utter anything and just pretend i'm busy doing something else. I'm not saying that you should become an alcoholic, but it raises the interesting question if we do have something interesting to say but its just the fact we're so damn nervous all the time and worried about what people think that makes our mind go blank and what we say to come out as weird.

04-15-2009, 08:54 AM	#2 (permalink)
Fairyxo Status: Engaged Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Great Britain Gender: Female Age: 24 Posts: 794	It's really not good to drink with SA, those feelings are not good because they do lead to alcoholism. __________________ "You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun."

04-15-2009, 10:36 AM	#5 (permalink)
mud Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: South Africa Gender: Male Age: 38 Posts: 204	dutch courage dutch courage works most of the time at first anyway I only drink when I'm feeling good already so that it doesn't feel like its becoming a crutch. That leads to trouble. __________________ my name is mud

04-15-2009, 07:43 PM	#13 (permalink)
Chrysalii Status: Somewhere but not here. Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Baldwinsville, NY Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 1,814	It's odd for me It lessens the anxiety, but I feel like crap. Kind of like watching someone push me down a cliff and being forced to watch (out of body experience not included). Or like unleashing a wild dog. Not much you can do other than let it run it's course and clean up the mess. Or in hopefully better chosen words, I'm aware of my intoxication and the implications of it, but am helpless to stop it. __________________ "In a world where I feel so small, I can't stop thinking big" -Rush, "Caravan"

04-15-2009, 10:14 PM	#16 (permalink)
Traci Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Colorado Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 480	I'm so much more relaxed when I drink in a social setting, it's nice but I don't make a habit of it. I dunno if I'm more social, I'm just more comfortable I'd say. __________________ "Life is waiting for you, it's all messed up, but we'll survive."

04-15-2009, 09:01 AM	#3 (permalink)
lars Status: Permanently Banned Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 76	.

04-15-2009, 10:30 AM	#4 (permalink)
StevenGlansberg Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Wisconsin Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 2,522	I've hit both extremes. Sometimes I'll feel extremely happy and willing to talk, not self conscious at all. Other times it makes my anxiety 100 times worse. It depends if I'm surrounded by a group of people I know or a bunch of strangers. I've also had times where the day after drinking I'll be hungover but in a extremely sociable and comfortable mood. I really wish I could bottle up that feeling. I think it shows that there's clearly some kind of chemical imbalance in our brains. Not that alcohol is the answer, but maybe that medication can help.

04-15-2009, 10:58 AM	#6 (permalink)
Black Dog Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Gender: Male Age: 33 Posts: 105	Drinking with friends is fun, but I find alcohol is pretty much useless for making myself meet new people. I actually find drinking a ton of coke makes me a lot more outgoing though. For some reason, the caffeine calms me down instead of making me more nervous.

04-15-2009, 11:34 AM	#7 (permalink)
Hoofservant Status: Rolling In the Hay Join Date: Apr 2009 Age: 23 Posts: 34	Drinking does allow me to loosen up and feel like I can be my authentic self in social settings. Which feels great at the time, but once I sober up I'm so remorseful and end up spending the next day analyzing every word my drunk self said to everyone. That's why I haven't wound up an alcoholic. So far.

04-15-2009, 04:52 PM	#9 (permalink)
BabyBlue123 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 19	To steven: I've also found that with drinking, its either one extreme or the other. As well, the day after drinking, I usually feel really sociable and calm too! It's quite weird.

04-15-2009, 06:44 PM	#11 (permalink)
BeachGaBulldog Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Tampa, Fla. Age: 53 Posts: 915	When I was a lot younger, I used alcohol to help me break out of my shell like at parties. After awhile, I just didn't like the feeling of using something that was contributing to not being myself. I started to just be myself, and at least that made me feel better.

04-15-2009, 07:57 PM	#14 (permalink)
Seven Island Suite Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Vancouver Gender: Male Posts: 117	I feel i'm only my true self when inebriated. i drink to feel normal in social situations. other people are completely out of control when wasted, i feel like my anxiety level drops to normal proportions of everyone else when they are sober so i'm still in control. is it any wonder i drink so much.

04-15-2009, 08:19 PM	#15 (permalink)
mjatte Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Minneapolis, MN Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 372	it helps A LOT. I don't get really drunk, just enough to get a good buzz. one thing that annoys me is how everyone can smell alcohol right away, even if I have just 2 drinks..

04-15-2009, 10:51 PM	#17 (permalink)
endtroducing Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: cali Gender: Female Posts: 297	Alcohol definitely helps bring that anxiety level down. Sometimes to the point where I can become way too friendly and obnoxious. It's not always liquid courage though. Yea, I could have a couple drinks and be very loose around friends, orr I could have like 8 in me at a big party, and still feel really self-conscious.

04-16-2009, 02:12 PM	#18 (permalink)
Biscuit Status: SAS Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Canada Gender: Female Posts: 165	it makes me so happy. That's why I like it mostly. I'm still anxious though, just in a more normal way. I will talk to people without a second's thought (not overly chatty..i often feel like Im the quietest one there) but I'm so annoying because i'm always telling the people i'm with that people will hear us. i have such a deeply ingrained fear of people thinking badly of me that I told my friend about 15 times in 5 mins 9and quite loudly too) that people think we're being rude. i'm pretty sure at that point I was being louder than her but whatever. The problem with drinking, I have realized, is that too often you forget what you do/did, but remember what everyone else said or did...meaning they know what you said when you let your guard down (fun fun fun for SA brian to freak out over the next day). Sparingly, it's ok. I'm actually usually the one who fakes taking a drink/keeps an eye on how much I've drunk because I hate blacking out (same reason).

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04-16-2009, 06:23 PM	#20 (permalink)
agape Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 52	I have found that personally, my SA ceases to exist once i've had a few drinks. Completely disappears. hell, once i've had a few drinks i'm walking up to random girls in clubs and getting with them, something that I doubt I could ever do sober. However, the more drinks I have (to make me feel more confident), the more depressed and lonely I feel if i'm alone in my bedroom when I get home, and boy, i've had some borderline suicidal moments in the past. In fact, the only times i've cried in my entire life have been when i've been drinking and am alone in my bed. So, to conclude, alcohol in my experience has it's good and bad points.