Anyone else obsessed with the past? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-11-2011, 04:35 PM Thread Starter
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Anyone else obsessed with the past?

In the sense that they long for the past? For me it is my childhood. I never really got over my childhood. I still partake in things that, to me, are nostalgic of my childhood. For a while I had 3 things that would remind me of my childhood. One was my dog (I made a thread awhile ago about him), another was a video game, and the last an anime. I've essentially lost all three of those things as I grew older. I rarely play video games anymore and I never watch anime. (When I was younger I always played video games and watched anime). Anyways 1 video game has always been my favorite and I've been replaying it for awhile now. There is only one anime I'll still watch if it is on (Cowboy Bebop), I recently got it for Christmas and proceeded to watch it over the course of a week.

This may make no sense but hang on (if you even want to read or respond). While watching the series I was hit with a bit of depression. It reminded me of my childhood, when I'd never get depressed (kind of ironic) or would have anxiety. It's weird because in a way I'm causing myself sadness by watching the series and feeling that sense of longing for something I can no longer live. The music for both the series and the game are what hit me the hardest. I tend to staple memories/emotions with songs/music. So in a sense a lot of my music hits me this way. But what other songs don't have that the soundtracks do is that they're also heavily influenced by imagery that I can in a sense relive (through the game and show).

I guess in a sense it's interesting that even though I rarely watch TV (especially anime) and I rarely play video games I still have these two favorites that can influence me in such a way. In a sense I use these two specific mediums to reinforce that sense of longing, or to feed my obsession. (Which strikes another interesting note of the sense of past. Which was a kind of theme in Cowboy Bebop). I always think/long for something no longer here. Which in a sense is like me being remorseful over the death of myself.

Now I'm just emptying the garbage my brain creates. You can read, criticize, call me a loser, say tl;dr, respond with your own stories, or just skip over. Even if no one respond I'll still feel better. Because in a sense I use this place as a feedback kinda journal. (Which some may not like). Which in the end just means this. I need to get a journal.
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post #2 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-11-2011, 04:41 PM
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Yes, I constantly remind myself of what it was like when I was 8 years old watching YTV. Video games were also very fun. To this day, all I find myself doing most of the time is playing video games. I guess that's because my father always took them away from me when I was a kid. I guess the past is the only time we can think about that makes us happy because that's when we did without SAD. We were fearless.
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post #3 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-11-2011, 05:33 PM
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I too reminisce about the past sometimes. I still play video games like nobody's business so that's not really what I go back to. I watch old tv shows and cartoons on youtube or some other site.. I love to bring back memories.. when times were simpler.
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post #4 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-11-2011, 05:34 PM
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Ah yes, my childhood.

Makes me sad that I used to be so innocent and happy.

Didn't have a damn clue about the difficulties of life like being in a social setting and sweating like I've just ran a marathon.

All that stuff was alien.

I was just happy and enjoyed life.

No mental burdens.

You know, I keep asking myself this question.

Would my life be a constant joyride if I was mentally deficient?

If I simply could not grasp what it meant to be anxious and fearful?

If I just lived for the moment?
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post #5 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-11-2011, 07:34 PM
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Yes. "I want to go back!" is probably the phrase I tell myself the most frequently. Whenever I'm reminded of something in the past 10 years ago, last year or last week, I just wish I could start over my life from that point or spend a lot of time thinking about what i would do differently and what I would like to experience again.

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post #6 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-11-2011, 07:37 PM
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i moved out of this house like 2 years ago, but my mind hasn't moved on yet.

it was the happiest time of my life, and it's the only place i've ever felt at home, and the only place i felt comfortable speaking my mind all the time without thinking. everyone understood my mind, and i understood everyone else's. they're really the only people i'd consider "family."

maybe i should apply it in every day social situations.. like have it be my "happy place" :P
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post #7 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-11-2011, 07:53 PM
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Yeah. I would listen to music that brings me back to my chilhood (mostly music from the late 80's and 90's). I WANT TO GO BACK!. Do things over again. But I can't. Someone told me that instead of focusing on past times I should figure it out what I want to do from time on. That living in my past is just me trying to not face my life. Im kinda just regreting what I didn't live back then instead of living my life.
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post #8 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-13-2011, 06:42 PM
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i havent watched cowboy bebop yet, shame on me, everyone urges me to do so, and from what i saw its great anime.
soo dude i understand everything but the game and anime part, why dont u play and watch anything anymore? :/ personally me i cant imagine my life without anime and music and that stuff (i wish games too but im too broke for that now) thats like only ray of light/fun there for me :/ how on earth can u not watch anime?

i can totally relate to u about obsessing with past tho, it feels like it will haunt me forever -___- but to not make it worse i just dont watch the stuff that would be nostalgical. i remember at time when i was having friends i was watching yugioh and shaman king and cartoons like mask, tmnt etc and yea me too if i watch those ever again, nostalgical **** kicks in and memories about that time n everything n it yea hurts soo muchh -__-

so um my advice would be? try to move on bro, even if its hard, do so, dont obsess over stuff u once liked, find something new to obsess about, there are plenty epic animes n games out there, get yoself into something new, make memories about this time ur at!

well this was more of a anime advice than life advice i guess lol but cant be helped since i totally dunno what to suggest about life, bcz i suk at it lol, but good luck!

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post #9 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-15-2011, 03:50 AM
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Do the same thing, I love to listen to a Trapt album because it brings me back to 11th grade. A time when things were fun! simpler, and when I had the best feelings in the world, I loved that year...
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post #10 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-15-2011, 04:09 AM
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Pretty much as soon as I'm anxious, I start thinking about the past and obsessing and getting more anxious. I make mountains out of molehills in terms of childhood and stuff. It wasn't fun and it isn't fun to deal with right now
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post #11 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-15-2011, 04:21 AM
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What past?
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post #12 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-16-2011, 02:29 PM
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I've had SA since as long as I can remember, and my family have said I was also a very shy/scared toddler. Then, somewhere between the ages of 5-6 I went through something very traumatic leaving me with major trust issues. Yet despite all of this I'm always nostalgic for the past and can't stop replaying old memories over and over. So how do I explain this? Why do I constantly escape the present? Maybe the past is inherently better because it has already happened, allowing us to reflect back on it in whatever light we choose.
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post #13 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-16-2011, 02:39 PM
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Yep... Although I still had SA when I was child, there were those few very good memories back then that I wish I could go re-live. And I'll listen to old music just to get that nostalgic feeling... It seems obsessive at times that I glorify the past so much =/ I have problems with accepting change.
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post #14 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-16-2011, 04:33 PM
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Although my childhood wasn't entirely pleasant, thanks to SA, I still find myself painfully nostalgic and am constantly revisiting music and TV shows and video games from that less difficult time. Recently though, I started having negative thoughts about my past while listening to certain songs. They're such good songs too, but certain events/experiences make them painful to listen to now.
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post #15 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-23-2013, 06:40 PM
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Yes. I am stuck living in the past. Everything reminds me of the past 2 years of my life. When I listen to songs that remind me of it, I feel like I can't breathe. I feel it in my heart, but tears don't come out. I want to relive those memories.
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post #16 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-23-2013, 06:47 PM
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Mine's kind of opposite to your story. My childhood I'd much rather forget. Alert, trauma trauma trauma. Hahah. But really, I don't want to relieve any of my previous years. The only thought that comes to mind is spending more time with my dear grandmother. She was the world to me. It's only been a year since she passed. I dream of her all the time. I just want another day with her.
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post #17 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-23-2013, 06:48 PM
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P.s. I understand what you're saying about the nostalgia though. It is weird how much memories can affect us in the present.
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post #18 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-23-2013, 07:41 PM
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Yes almost all the time. I sometimes miss even the times when things were crappy and I was extremely depressed in a bad state and having many problems - if only because back then, I was so much younger and the world seemed like a much better place :/
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post #19 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-23-2013, 07:46 PM
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Yes, obsessed with past mistakes that I am still paying for and obsessed with missing the happy childhood past I had. I keep wanting to go back in time and become a happy kid again and wish I could do things differently.

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post #20 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-23-2013, 07:47 PM
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Of course, i love my childhood memories and i think i try too hard to relieve those memories.

I swear to you gentlemen, that to be overly conscious is a sickness, a real, thorough sickness.

- Fyodor Dostoevsky Notes From The Underground

"Its noble to be timid, illustrious to fail to act, sublime to be inept at living....

- Fernando Pessoa The Book Of Disquiet

"Praying for the wave to come now
It must be for the very last time
It's twelve o'clock till midnight
There must be someone to blame..."

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