Anyone else get nervous at malls? - Social Anxiety Forum
X

Download the SAS Android App

Or switch to mobile version of the forums

X

Download the SAS iPhone App

Or switch to mobile version of the forums

Help/FAQLog InJoin SAS
Go Back   Social Anxiety Forum > Recovery > Coping With Social Anxiety

Reply
Old 07-25-2008, 10:06 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
Status: Permanently Banned
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 69



Default Anyone else get nervous at malls?

So, I'm currently in CBT and my therapist wants me to start using positive self talk that we've practiced in the office in crowded places like malls. Malls freak me out the most. I'm ok if I pass a person of the opposite sex, but if there's 2 or more together, I fear they will start judging me and talking about me with each other and it just makes me really nervous. And since it's a mall there are lots and lots of groups of people everywhere, so it's like there's never a break. I went two days ago and I lasted like 5 minutes, I'm planning on going back Monday, but it's sure tough to walk around a mall by yourself surrounded by groups of people. Do you guys struggle with this as well?
amysagirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-25-2008, 10:11 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 658



Default Re: Anyone else get nervous at malls?

I used to walk alone in the mall by myself back in high school a lot. It wasn't so bad because I used to do it often. Now it would be a little tougher because I don't really go to the mall at all. If you go with a friend you should be fine but i guess that's not part of your recovery/therapy.
Peace99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-25-2008, 10:12 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
Status: Permanently Banned
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 69



Default Re: Anyone else get nervous at malls?

I don't have any friends
amysagirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-25-2008, 11:11 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
shyvr6's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2008
Gender: Male
Age: 36
Posts: 26,199



Default Re: Anyone else get nervous at malls?

I usually don't pay attention to people at malls so it doesn't bother me.
shyvr6 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2008, 12:06 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
millenniumman75's Avatar
 
Status: Mentor
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Dayton, OH
Gender: Male
Age: 39
Posts: 112,524



Default Re: Anyone else get nervous at malls?

Malls are just a mess. I don't really have SA unless I have to try something on, or shop for foundation garments/haberdashery. Other than that, I am okay.

You should pretend you are in the mall, with a shopping bag. Some creep tried to grab you in a wide open space. You scream "don't take my newly purchased brassiere, you pervert!", and then swat him with your bag.
__________________
millenniumman75
You are a success story waiting to happen!
Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover....
Live and HELP live is better!

TROLL ALERT STATUS:
CHAT -> BERT

FORUMS -> ERNIE
(troll activity on the increase)

WATCH WHAT YOU TYPE!
millenniumman75 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2008, 12:46 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 118



Default Re: Anyone else get nervous at malls?

I'm usually fine at the mall except around the holidays when it gets to be wall-to-wall people. Getting banged around by mobs of ferocious Christmas shoppers is a nightmare experience.
Jellybeanz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2008, 08:27 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 658



Default Re: Anyone else get nervous at malls?

Quote:
Originally Posted by amysagirl
I don't have any friends
once you get used to going alone, i'm sure you'll be fine. Also if you know what you have to get, then get in the mall buy the item and leave. That usually makes it easier too.
Peace99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2008, 08:45 AM   #8 (permalink)
 
CopadoMexicano's Avatar
 
Status: True Fighter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: United States Of America
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,170



Default Re: Anyone else get nervous at malls?

I dont like malls because too many people around and makes me uncomfortable and very nervous
__________________
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence and than success is sure," Mark Twain

-------------------------------------------------------
CopadoMexicano is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2008, 10:02 AM   #9 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Age: 34
Posts: 51



Default Re: Anyone else get nervous at malls?

I really hate malls. I always go by myself, just because I don't like going shopping with other people, but when i go I am miserable. I always go out to malls in different cities so I don't run into anyone I know, ESPECIALLY if I'm shopping for clothes!

and buying underwear... thats a whole different struggle...
malibubarista is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2008, 10:13 AM   #10 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 288



Default Re: Anyone else get nervous at malls?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Peace99
Quote:
Originally Posted by amysagirl
I don't have any friends
once you get used to going alone, i'm sure you'll be fine. Also if you know what you have to get, then get in the mall buy the item and leave. That usually makes it easier too.
maybe try some small talk when doing that with the cashier or the person who is assisting you.
__________________
"The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready." - Henry David Thoreau
conscious is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2008, 12:22 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Keweenaw Peninsula Michigan
Age: 44
Posts: 9,382



Default Re: Anyone else get nervous at malls?

I avoid crowded places like the plague. We don't have much of a mall here so I hardly never go there except to get my hair cut, but he is at a lonely corner of the mall. I do hate going to the Super Walmart here. I only go there early in the morning. I would never go there on Saturday or Sunday afternoon. Even when it isn't crowded I don't like spending a lot of time there. I now pretty know where everything is on the grocery side. I quickly go to where everything I need, grab it, and get the heck out of there. I do have to go tomorrow. I would of went today, but they are having the Fireman's Tournament over in Houghton and I avoided that town like the Plague. Luckily it is over today and it will be dead tomorrow morning.
__________________
troll: man, we got a lot of snow
yooper: eh?
troll: three feet, man!
yooper: yah
troll: no school, man, it was sweet
yooper: you closed school for three feet of snow?!?!??!?
troll: you like excessive punctuation, don't you?
copper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2008, 01:58 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ca
Posts: 3



Default Re: Anyone else get nervous at malls?

I haven't been to a mall in years and I don't plan on going anytime soon.
- Daisy - is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2008, 06:59 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
Shauna The Dead's Avatar
 
Status: Shauna The Dead
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Kentucky, USA
Gender: Female
Age: 30
Posts: 6,389



Default Re: Anyone else get nervous at malls?

Only time I really get nervous/aggravated at the mall is when it's 10x busier than normal, like at around Christmas time...it's like those people are all hermits all year long until late November/early December and then EVERYONE comes out!
Otherwise I just usually avoid people(especially those people at the boots in the middle of the aisles--those people are annoying!! I just ignore them & don't look at them), look down/don't look at anyone really, go where ever it is I'm going, look at whatever I want, buy whatever I want, etc.... doesn't really bother me on an average day at the mall, I actually like it a lot.
Shauna The Dead is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2008, 07:09 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 53



Default Re: Anyone else get nervous at malls?

Malls, this was something that I discussed almost immediately with my new therapist. I find out that at least for me it is all the commotion and activity around me that sets me off into anxiety. I get tunnel vision and numb-floating feeling. She advised me to walk in and walk straight through and then out the other door, 5 minutes tops. She asked me to concentrate on, say, my big toe or my arms swinging to center myself and stay grounded. Or to concenterate on finding a specific color and steer my attention to paying attention to that when I am anxious. I still have problems, but I breathe and try to center myself.
I_am_me is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2008, 09:13 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
Teehee's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Toronto, ON
Gender: Male
Age: 24
Posts: 227



Default Re: Anyone else get nervous at malls?

The mall is the devil!!! It's the #1 Most Hated Places for me.

I avoid the mall like the plague unless I really need to get something from there. And even then, I'll make my sister come with me. My anxiety is non-existant if I'm there with someone so I'm not standing around alone like a loner.

And you can just forget about the deals on Boxing Day. It's madness.

I like the WAL-MART inside malls though
__________________
Teehee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2008, 09:36 PM   #16 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 999



Default Re: Anyone else get nervous at malls?

for some reason, i feel much more comfortable when the mall is completely packed than when there are hardly any people.

when it's busy and crazy, I feel like no one has the time of day to even notice me.

what sucks about the mall more than anything though is trying on clothes. you have to ask for a key to the dressing room, sometimes you have to try the clothes on outside in front of everyone, etc...
colonelpoop is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2008, 10:38 PM   #17 (permalink)
 
Status: User Requested Permanent Ban
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Calgary, Canada
Gender: Female
Age: 29
Posts: 396



Default Re: Anyone else get nervous at malls?

^ yes, i hate the malls too..one of the reasons why i dont own alot of clothes, and the style i wanna dress in....sigh
estelle85 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-27-2008, 03:22 AM   #18 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Somewhere in infinity
Posts: 234



Default Re: Anyone else get nervous at malls?

i don't like malls just because i don't want to see anyone i know.
MNinja is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-27-2008, 07:23 AM   #19 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Gender: Female
Age: 30
Posts: 956



Default Re: Anyone else get nervous at malls?

I feel very self-conscious in most public places, including malls. That's why I don't like going there alone, having someone else with you diverts the attention from you.
watashi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-27-2008, 10:42 AM   #20 (permalink)
 
Shauna The Dead's Avatar
 
Status: Shauna The Dead
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Kentucky, USA
Gender: Female
Age: 30
Posts: 6,389



Default Re: Anyone else get nervous at malls?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MNinja
i don't like malls just because i don't want to see anyone i know.
I usually never see anyone I know. Probably mainly because of how far I live from the mall... Actually there have been a few times where people who know me have seen me, though... one of my online friends used to work at the store next to Hot Topic so I saw him there a few times and that was ok. I didn't mind him at all, we never got to talk much when I saw him at the mall(the last time I seen him was after I got married and he came up & talked to me and I was sorta afraid my husband would see him & get mad because he is like that...though it's just fine for him to talk to any girl[s] he wants to! Luckily he was off with his friend and I was in Hot Topic with my best friend, though so he never saw this guy & I never told him about it) but I wish he still lived in that town & worked at the mall actually...he moved back to his old town recently.
Then there was a guy I sort of dated for awhile, hadn't seen in awhile... and he was kinda annoying, but one day he saw me and my mom at the mall so then he followed us around until we left.
And there was a guy who worked in a store called Cosmic and he would always recognize me & talk to me when I went in the store but I really liked him. He was funny and nice, but then they moved him to another store, in a different town, so I haven't seen him in forever Most of the other people who work there are ok(they had a rude girl there once who threw my change back at me though, stupid ***** but otherwise, most of their workers are alright) but there has never been & never will be anyone like Daniel there. I wish he still worked there. Some other guys from Cosmic recognize me from myspace once in awhile too...
There was a girl I saw in Hot Topic also who knew me from online...actually mainly I talked to her "cousin" and I say it like that because I sort of think her cousin is a fake... no one ever sees her out in public and I know a guy she used to "date" online but she never would agree to meet him which seems very odd-- he even offered to come all the way to her town or even her house just to see her and she said "NO" and made all kinds of excuses for him not to come every time he mentioned it...I personally think it's the girl I saw/met who uses fake pics just to get all kinds of attention and stuff, but who knows.....
And I've seen a few other people I know too, but not too often.
Shauna The Dead is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
So nervous... A nonymous Coping With Social Anxiety 4 12-25-2009 10:05 AM
Nervous about going out valley_girl1919 Coping With Social Anxiety 4 09-25-2009 07:56 PM
nervous mmarris Therapy 5 01-09-2009 10:32 PM
Nervous rb1088 Relationships 0 12-07-2008 04:42 PM
nervous tics slash other things you do when your nervous jy24 Secondary Disorders 0 10-07-2008 01:58 AM

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:57 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® ©2000-2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc. User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging v3.1.0 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2014 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.