Social Anxiety Support

precious007 · 11-08-2011, 07:50 AM

I was wondering how many people here have either lost one of their parent when they were kids/teens/or even young adults and developed social anxiety.
Please vote YES if so OR if you've only been grown up by one parent. (meaning you've been growing up with either only your mom or your dad.

I've noticed that a lot of people that are struggling with a mental illness (most of the times depression and anxiety) have lost one of their parents in some point in life or never had one of their parents besides them.

In my case, it's my dad that passed away when I was only 15.

PS / Lets bump this thread every now and then to get as many results as possible.

offbyone · 11-08-2011, 08:50 AM

I lost my father when I was a teenager after a long illness. His illness was one of the primary factors causing me to drop out of school, in addition to my depression and SA. I helped take care of him that summer and when he got too bad he went into a care facility. When he died later that year I had no motivation to go back and fell into a long depression.

I'm not sure his illness caused my mental health problems but it certainly contributed to and exacerbated them. If he was healthy and still alive I probably would have been able to get through my issues then. Seeing how sick he was really demotivated me and made me very depressed. There was also less of a focus on solving or noticing my issues since his illness kind of took over our family life. I'm not saying that with spite but I know it contributed.

Family life was really difficult during that period and I lost my male role model during my formative years (he was sick for years).

I'm not trying to push the blame onto him or anything but I think the loss of a parent can definitely cause or contribute to these issues, especially when you are young.

I also feel a lot of guilt over blaming his illness but it really had a huge impact on me and my family. I was also anxious and embarrassed by it and never talked about it with friends or peers, so I had very little outlet for my feelings.

Owl Eyes · 11-08-2011, 09:05 AM

I grew up with just my mom since I was in 7th grade.

Losm · 11-08-2011, 09:08 AM

It definitely can have a significant impact. My dad died when I was almost 18, during my last year of school. The years leading up to it were quite difficult and it was during that time when my anxiety properly reared its head.

I don't know how I'd be if he were still here, in a way the whole thing caused me to reevaluate my life and how I'd like it to be... but that's only recently after I finally got over the shock of it all. I'd like to think that I'm slowly getting better but there's no doubt that for a while afterwards I was very withdrawn from everything and ended up losing a few friends because of it. It hasn't really been long enough for me to see the long-term effects on my anxiety though.

precious007 · 11-08-2011, 09:09 AM

There are already 4 votes for individuals that lost one of their parents. (including me)

My father died when I was 15, so pretty much lost my male role model too, and in fact I was the one that found him hanged up in the house. So I believe that it all contributed to my anxiety. However I was 15 back then and only developed anxiety 5 years later.

Ventura · 11-08-2011, 09:17 AM

I did not physically loose a parent-

When my parents broke up (before I was born!) my mother never told my dad that she was having is baby. He had moved out of the country back to Australia... I did not know my dad for YEARS after (I was 11 years old). During the time I did not know him- my mother would beat the crap out of me, and her drunk boyfriends would take advantage of me.

At age 17 I moved in with my dad, and my mother would stay with us on and off, get locked up in jail (she is currently in jail ) . I've never fully bonded with my dad I can honestly say... Even though phyiically they are both here .... I don't feel it.

precious007 · 11-08-2011, 09:25 AM

So the people that were grown up by a single-parent should also vote One of my parents died.

I cannot edit the poll, I should have added a 3rd option for those grown up by a single parent, the ones that their parents got divorced and ended up to be grown by either their mom or dad, basically people that have been having only one parent besides them (but they're both still alive)

precious007 · 11-12-2011, 09:39 AM

** bump **

Syndacus · 11-12-2011, 09:51 AM

My real dad left my mom and I when I was 5, he went to prison for a long time for killing 4 people in a head on collision and he was drunk. And my mom booted me out the house when I was 12, and I didn't see her until I was 25, by that time I was dead to her. So now I have no family, except whomever I form with someone.

offbyone · 11-12-2011, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by precious007

So the people that were grown up by a single-parent should also vote One of my parents died.

I cannot edit the poll, I should have added a 3rd option for those grown up by a single parent, the ones that their parents got divorced and ended up to be grown by either their mom or dad, basically people that have been having only one parent besides them (but they're both still alive)

That isn't the same thing at all though, there should be another poll option.

precious007 · 11-13-2011, 07:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by offbyone

That isn't the same thing at all though, there should be another poll option.

Yep.

There are different situations...... there should have been another poll but I cannot modify it now.

So far, there's a tight score between the two options..... so there is a correlation between anxiety and loss of a parent.

GaaraAgain · 11-13-2011, 08:30 AM

My mom was raising my brothers and me as a single parent. She passed when I was 11 and so I have spent half of my life without a parent and female role model. I can say with certainty that her death was the start of my struggles with anxiety and depression.

precious007 · 11-13-2011, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GaaraAgain

My mom was raising my brothers and me as a single parent. She passed when I was 11 and so I have spent half of my life without a parent and female role model. I can say with certainty that her death was the start of my struggles with anxiety and depression.

same here.

I didn't have my dad besides me as a role model.

MindOverMood · 11-13-2011, 10:35 AM

They're both still alive and next year they will both be turning 70. So who knows how long they have left

It would be great if they lived another 20 years though

GaaraAgain · 11-13-2011, 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by precious007

same here.

I didn't have my dad besides me as a role model.

Sorry to hear that =/. I definitely can understand how you feel. It's rough growing up without a parent in general, but it's really so tough without the same-sex parent in your life.

Interesting thread, btw.

precious007 · 11-13-2011, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GaaraAgain

Sorry to hear that =/. I definitely can understand how you feel. It's rough growing up without a parent in general, but it's really so tough without the same-sex parent in your life.

Interesting thread, btw.

Thanks.

I was curios to see if fellow friends on this forum that have lost one of their parents in particular LOST, are going through anxiety issues.

And seemingly there is a high percentage that have lost one parent and developed anxiety.

I think anxiety is also induced by how the parents behave in general. Children that have anxious/isolated parents will most likely develop anxiety too because - their parents are the best role model they follow.

GaaraAgain · 11-13-2011, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by precious007

Children that have anxious/isolated parents will most likely develop anxiety too because - their parents are the best role model they follow.

Yeah, definitely agree.

offbyone · 11-13-2011, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by precious007

Thanks.

I was curios to see if fellow friends on this forum that have lost one of their parents in particular LOST, are going through anxiety issues.

And seemingly there is a high percentage that have lost one parent and developed anxiety.

I think anxiety is also induced by how the parents behave in general. Children that have anxious/isolated parents will most likely develop anxiety too because - their parents are the best role model they follow.

I haven't done a ton of research on this but my father died due to complications from Parkinson's disease and Lewy Body Dementia.

I know Parkinson's is supposed to be caused by dopamine issues in the brain, which I think are also believed to cause social anxiety and depression. Both of which I have.

Because of this I'm not sure if I'm genetically predisposed to this, as both of my parents have/had socially anxious and depressive traits and many other relatives have too, or if it was triggered by his disease during my teenage years (my main male role model was suffering for that time span).

At the same time I know I experienced anxiety, depression and social anxiety before he was sick.

I'm sure it's all interrelated and I guess I'm not a good example to use as a general case.

Double Indemnity · 11-13-2011, 01:23 PM

I haven't lost a parent but my mother has a serious life threatening illness. I live in fear every day that I'm going to get a phone call that something has happened to her. It contributes greatly to my anxiety. Medication has helped though.

BlazingLazer · 11-13-2011, 02:20 PM

My mother died when I was 18. I think it was heart failure, but you could say she pretty much drank herself to death.

My dad and my brother got out of the house as soon as they could, since my mother was an extreme alcoholic and also became a very violent, abusive, angry, sad, miserable person.

I left as soon as I graduated high school. Then she clocks out 6 months later. To be honest, I'm only surprised she didn't kick the bucket sooner than that. I don't feel guilty or anything because I knew I did what I could to help. It's too bad she went down that road and didn't make it, but her death was a weight off my shoulders in a way.

View Poll Results: Anxiety and Losing a Parent
Both of my parent are alive.	18	58.06%
One of my parents died.	13	41.94%
Voters: 31. You may not vote on this poll

11-08-2011, 07:50 AM	#1 (permalink)
precious007 Status: Permanently Banned Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 206	Anxiety and Loss of One Parent I was wondering how many people here have either lost one of their parent when they were kids/teens/or even young adults and developed social anxiety. Please vote YES if so OR if you've only been grown up by one parent. (meaning you've been growing up with either only your mom or your dad. I've noticed that a lot of people that are struggling with a mental illness (most of the times depression and anxiety) have lost one of their parents in some point in life or never had one of their parents besides them. In my case, it's my dad that passed away when I was only 15. PS / Lets bump this thread every now and then to get as many results as possible.

11-08-2011, 09:05 AM	#3 (permalink)
Owl Eyes Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: Outer Space Gender: Female Posts: 314	I grew up with just my mom since I was in 7th grade. __________________ "Woah, where you goin' buddy, this elevator here is for winners... not you." (｡✖︵✖｡)

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11-08-2011, 08:50 AM	#2 (permalink)
offbyone Status: Temporarily stationary Join Date: May 2010 Location: Northern IL Gender: Male Age: 27 Posts: 1,486	I lost my father when I was a teenager after a long illness. His illness was one of the primary factors causing me to drop out of school, in addition to my depression and SA. I helped take care of him that summer and when he got too bad he went into a care facility. When he died later that year I had no motivation to go back and fell into a long depression. I'm not sure his illness caused my mental health problems but it certainly contributed to and exacerbated them. If he was healthy and still alive I probably would have been able to get through my issues then. Seeing how sick he was really demotivated me and made me very depressed. There was also less of a focus on solving or noticing my issues since his illness kind of took over our family life. I'm not saying that with spite but I know it contributed. Family life was really difficult during that period and I lost my male role model during my formative years (he was sick for years). I'm not trying to push the blame onto him or anything but I think the loss of a parent can definitely cause or contribute to these issues, especially when you are young. I also feel a lot of guilt over blaming his illness but it really had a huge impact on me and my family. I was also anxious and embarrassed by it and never talked about it with friends or peers, so I had very little outlet for my feelings.

11-08-2011, 09:08 AM	#4 (permalink)
Losm Status: Purrr. Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: N. Ireland Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 1,016	It definitely can have a significant impact. My dad died when I was almost 18, during my last year of school. The years leading up to it were quite difficult and it was during that time when my anxiety properly reared its head. I don't know how I'd be if he were still here, in a way the whole thing caused me to reevaluate my life and how I'd like it to be... but that's only recently after I finally got over the shock of it all. I'd like to think that I'm slowly getting better but there's no doubt that for a while afterwards I was very withdrawn from everything and ended up losing a few friends because of it. It hasn't really been long enough for me to see the long-term effects on my anxiety though.

11-08-2011, 09:09 AM	#5 (permalink)
precious007 Status: Permanently Banned Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 206	There are already 4 votes for individuals that lost one of their parents. (including me) My father died when I was 15, so pretty much lost my male role model too, and in fact I was the one that found him hanged up in the house. So I believe that it all contributed to my anxiety. However I was 15 back then and only developed anxiety 5 years later.

11-08-2011, 09:17 AM	#6 (permalink)
Ventura Status: Registered Member Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 10,386	I did not physically loose a parent- When my parents broke up (before I was born!) my mother never told my dad that she was having is baby. He had moved out of the country back to Australia... I did not know my dad for YEARS after (I was 11 years old). During the time I did not know him- my mother would beat the crap out of me, and her drunk boyfriends would take advantage of me. At age 17 I moved in with my dad, and my mother would stay with us on and off, get locked up in jail (she is currently in jail ) . I've never fully bonded with my dad I can honestly say... Even though phyiically they are both here .... I don't feel it.

11-08-2011, 09:25 AM	#7 (permalink)
precious007 Status: Permanently Banned Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 206	So the people that were grown up by a single-parent should also vote *One of my parents died.* I cannot edit the poll, I should have added a 3rd option for those grown up by a single parent, the ones that their parents got divorced and ended up to be grown by either their mom or dad, basically people that have been having only one parent besides them (but they're both still alive)

11-12-2011, 09:39 AM	#8 (permalink)
precious007 Status: Permanently Banned Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 206	bump

11-12-2011, 09:51 AM	#9 (permalink)
Syndacus Status: User Requested Permanent Ban Join Date: Aug 2011 Age: 29 Posts: 3,284	My real dad left my mom and I when I was 5, he went to prison for a long time for killing 4 people in a head on collision and he was drunk. And my mom booted me out the house when I was 12, and I didn't see her until I was 25, by that time I was dead to her. So now I have no family, except whomever I form with someone.

11-13-2011, 08:30 AM	#12 (permalink)
GaaraAgain Status: Back to bed. Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: NYC Gender: Female Age: 24 Posts: 1,566	My mom was raising my brothers and me as a single parent. She passed when I was 11 and so I have spent half of my life without a parent and female role model. I can say with certainty that her death was the start of my struggles with anxiety and depression.

11-13-2011, 01:23 PM	#19 (permalink)
Double Indemnity Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: God's country Gender: Female Age: 36 Posts: 3,256	I haven't lost a parent but my mother has a serious life threatening illness. I live in fear every day that I'm going to get a phone call that something has happened to her. It contributes greatly to my anxiety. Medication has helped though.

11-13-2011, 02:20 PM	#20 (permalink)
BlazingLazer Status: Out there... Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 3,838	My mother died when I was 18. I think it was heart failure, but you could say she pretty much drank herself to death. My dad and my brother got out of the house as soon as they could, since my mother was an extreme alcoholic and also became a very violent, abusive, angry, sad, miserable person. I left as soon as I graduated high school. Then she clocks out 6 months later. To be honest, I'm only surprised she didn't kick the bucket sooner than that. I don't feel guilty or anything because I knew I did what I could to help. It's too bad she went down that road and didn't make it, but her death was a weight off my shoulders in a way.