Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: North Carolina (for now)
Well, I'm going to echo the person who said it's not that simple. True, we all need to work on things about ourselves that we view as hindrances (and that goes for everything about us, not just SA). But I think it's important to keep in mind that even though a group of people may have one issue in common (ie, SA), that is just one part of that each person's experience. We are all multidimensional, and we don't all respond to things the same way.
I really didn't care for the Yahoo answer that person provided. I don't know the history of the person who asked the question, but based on that person's answer it certainly appears that the person who asked the question had dealt with some type of hardship. I am going to assume that this discussion was amongst college aged folks, since the question was about how to connect with people in college. To me, the responder came across as not only harsh but also a bit naive, but I'm not sure if that may just be due to age and/or lack of experience with certain issues. She is correct in saying that not all human beings are scum, not all people will abandon you, etc. However, I will say that unless she has lived through being rejected and abandoned by someone that she loved deeply, just for being herself, then she doesn't truly understand how that kind of experience changes a person.
Sometimes it really bothers me when people say, "Just do X, Y, and Z and everything will be fine." Life is rarely that black and white. We all have different life experiences. Not only that, but it possible for several people to experience the exact same thing and all have vastly different reactions to the same stimulus. Human beings are complicated creatures that way. I'm all for self-improvement and making positive changes, but I know for me personally if someone was calling me selfish and stingy (as the person did in that Yahoo answer) simply because my reaction to life differed from theirs, I would not have a positive response to it.
Because you consider yourself to be but one among the many threads which make up the texture of the tunic. Well then it was fitting for you to be like the rest of men, just as the thread has no ambition to be anything distinguished compared with the other threads. But I desire to be purple, that small and shining part which makes the rest appear graceful and beautiful. Why then do you tell me to make myself like the many? And if I do, how shall I still be purple? --Epictetus