Social Anxiety Support

OregonMommy · 03-06-2010, 04:04 PM

My SA consists of mostly being afraid of people. It's somewhat like paranoia; or like being in a jungle and expecting a lion to jump out & attack. It intensifies the more people that are around, strangers and how much interaction goes on with them.
The one place I don't feel threatened is a Nia (neuromuscular intergrated action) exercise class. The worst case scenario is a party; or a crowded store. The other day in the grocery store was a particular bad one. It was packed and I could hardly wait to get out of there.
In the grocery store there was a young man, who was walking quickly towards me, I can't explain it but he had aggressive energy or I perceived it to be. I walked quickly away but he was going the same direction I was. Then I was nearly sprinting away trying to get away from him and went behind some one who seemed harmless (who, gratefully, just smiled at me). I felt embarrassed, and all I could do was sort of laugh at myself. The fight or flight was certainly kicked into gear.
Does any one else have this same experience/problem? Any insights?

I don't really know why I'm afraid of people, bad experiences, I imagine, but everyone has those.

ilikebooks · 03-06-2010, 04:17 PM

Yeah, I can definitely relate. I'm pretty indifferent to most people individually, but sometimes I'll come across someone who just initiates my fight or flight response. There's no real pattern to it. Maybe they have some kind of key similarity to a person who's hurt me before. Maybe it's a pheromone thing. Maybe I'm crazy. I have no idea. But I have actually fled a few times from people in stores, like you described, because of this.

OregonMommy · 03-07-2010, 10:51 AM

Thanks, I'm glad to not be alone in this. I'm working with a therapist to learn to calm down the nerves, bring down the adrenaline, the triggers, and such.

flapjacker · 03-07-2010, 10:55 AM

Yes I do too, & I laughed at this post. ;-)

Quote:

Originally Posted by OregonMommy

My SA consists of mostly being afraid of people. It's somewhat like paranoia; or like being in a jungle and expecting a lion to jump out & attack. It intensifies the more people that are around, strangers and how much interaction goes on with them.
The one place I don't feel threatened is a Nia (neuromuscular intergrated action) exercise class. The worst case scenario is a party; or a crowded store. The other day in the grocery store was a particular bad one. It was packed and I could hardly wait to get out of there.
In the grocery store there was a young man, who was walking quickly towards me, I can't explain it but he had aggressive energy or I perceived it to be. I walked quickly away but he was going the same direction I was. Then I was nearly sprinting away trying to get away from him and went behind some one who seemed harmless (who, gratefully, just smiled at me). I felt embarrassed, and all I could do was sort of laugh at myself. The fight or flight was certainly kicked into gear.
Does any one else have this same experience/problem? Any insights?

I don't really know why I'm afraid of people, bad experiences, I imagine, but everyone has those.

sash · 03-07-2010, 11:12 AM

This post reminds me of when I was at work and we were getting out of a staff meeting. This guy asks "Are you afraid of people?" I was so embarrassed that it was that obvious. I don't find it to be so irrational to have this fear. It's people after all that have caused some of the world's worst tragedies.

OregonMommy · 03-07-2010, 11:25 AM

"It's people after all that have caused some of the world's worst tragedies.[/QUOTE]"

I think this is one reason why I am leery of, become afraid of people, because I'm aware of the dark side of human nature. I realize people can be incredibly compassionate, are nice as well, it's just hard to tell who is who.

fredbloggs02 · 03-07-2010, 11:42 AM

I know what you mean by some people having a bad aura. Personaly I eagerly anticipate the day someone has a problem with me or how I behave. I'm too big to be physically picked on by the "older boys" nowadays lol. It's the subliminal threads of conversation I have trouble following/care about(or perceive I do). I don't think any of us will feel completely at ease in a large room.

Who the hell would want to change themselves just to fitt in? I think shyness is a gift. It shows concideration for others. It shows I care about how I come across, thoughfull and accepting generally. Those are the qualities of the best people ever to grace this earth. Those are the qualities of the people I want to know.

Ambivert · 03-07-2010, 12:23 PM

Ambivert · 03-07-2010, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OregonMommy

"It's people after all that have caused some of the world's worst tragedies.

I think this is one reason why I am leery of, become afraid of people, because I'm aware of the dark side of human nature. I realize people can be incredibly compassionate, are nice as well, it's just hard to tell who is who.

Wow you sound similar to me, I too fear the dark side of humanity, I read about history and past wars with the atrocities committed in the name of religion and ideology, it is highly disturbing. I don't understand that it

03-06-2010, 04:04 PM	#1 (permalink)
OregonMommy Status: On me "toes" Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Where the heart is Gender: Female Age: 42 Posts: 1,486	Afraid of people My SA consists of mostly being afraid of people. It's somewhat like paranoia; or like being in a jungle and expecting a lion to jump out & attack. It intensifies the more people that are around, strangers and how much interaction goes on with them. The one place I don't feel threatened is a Nia (neuromuscular intergrated action) exercise class. The worst case scenario is a party; or a crowded store. The other day in the grocery store was a particular bad one. It was packed and I could hardly wait to get out of there. In the grocery store there was a young man, who was walking quickly towards me, I can't explain it but he had aggressive energy or I perceived it to be. I walked quickly away but he was going the same direction I was. Then I was nearly sprinting away trying to get away from him and went behind some one who seemed harmless (who, gratefully, just smiled at me). I felt embarrassed, and all I could do was sort of laugh at myself. The fight or flight was certainly kicked into gear. Does any one else have this same experience/problem? Any insights? I don't really know why I'm afraid of people, bad experiences, I imagine, but everyone has those.

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03-06-2010, 04:17 PM	#2 (permalink)
ilikebooks Status: Not wearing pants Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Ontario Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 387	Yeah, I can definitely relate. I'm pretty indifferent to most people individually, but sometimes I'll come across someone who just initiates my fight or flight response. There's no real pattern to it. Maybe they have some kind of key similarity to a person who's hurt me before. Maybe it's a pheromone thing. Maybe I'm crazy. I have no idea. But I have actually fled a few times from people in stores, like you described, because of this.

03-07-2010, 10:51 AM	#3 (permalink)
OregonMommy Status: On me "toes" Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Where the heart is Gender: Female Age: 42 Posts: 1,486	Thanks, I'm glad to not be alone in this. I'm working with a therapist to learn to calm down the nerves, bring down the adrenaline, the triggers, and such.

03-07-2010, 11:12 AM	#5 (permalink)
sash Status: User Requested Permanent Ban Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Somewhere over the Rainbow Gender: Female Posts: 2,120	This post reminds me of when I was at work and we were getting out of a staff meeting. This guy asks "Are you afraid of people?" I was so embarrassed that it was that obvious. I don't find it to be so irrational to have this fear. It's people after all that have caused some of the world's worst tragedies.

03-07-2010, 11:25 AM	#6 (permalink)
OregonMommy Status: On me "toes" Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Where the heart is Gender: Female Age: 42 Posts: 1,486	"It's people after all that have caused some of the world's worst tragedies.[/QUOTE]" I think this is one reason why I am leery of, become afraid of people, because I'm aware of the dark side of human nature. I realize people can be incredibly compassionate, are nice as well, it's just hard to tell who is who.

03-07-2010, 11:42 AM	#7 (permalink)
fredbloggs02 Status: In Adams World Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Buckinghamshire, England Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 2,358	I know what you mean by some people having a bad aura. Personaly I eagerly anticipate the day someone has a problem with me or how I behave. I'm too big to be physically picked on by the "older boys" nowadays lol. It's the subliminal threads of conversation I have trouble following/care about(or perceive I do). I don't think any of us will feel completely at ease in a large room. Who the hell would want to change themselves just to fitt in? I think shyness is a gift. It shows concideration for others. It shows I care about how I come across, thoughfull and accepting generally. Those are the qualities of the best people ever to grace this earth. Those are the qualities of the people I want to know.

03-07-2010, 12:23 PM	#8 (permalink)
Ambivert Status: Walking thru mindfields Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: I live in a place Gender: Male Age: 26 Posts: 1,771