Social Anxiety Support

mshype · 09-01-2008, 06:46 AM

I have a 15 year old daughter that doesn't want to go to school. This has been going on since last year. She was even removed from my home due to truancy. She was in SRS custody, but was placed back in the home. However, she was temporarily removed again, and placed with grandparents due to missing school.
She says she feels that "everyone is talking about me". She cries, and gets to the point of hyperventilating when she is upset. She has been on Adderall for ADHD, and is currently on Risperdal for Bi-Polar. I am having a hard time getting her on the right medication that can help her.
Anyone have any suggestions?

Lachlan · 09-08-2008, 09:32 AM

I don't have any advice, but I feel sypmathy for your daughter. it must be very tough for her.

Kathy11 · 09-08-2008, 11:23 AM

The kids can be mean at 15. Maybe she isn't paranoid and the kids are gossiping about her and bullying her more than usual at that age. You could try taking her to a different psychiatrist. Does her psychiatrist specialize in children and adolescents? What sort of school does she go to? In Jr high I went to a small (15kids/grade) christian school and although the academics were poor, there wasn't any gossiping or bullying and the enviorment was very laid back. That could be a good option for other kids who have social anxiety, until they get used to talking to other kids and gain more self confidence. Taking her out of school completely(homeschooling) might cause her social anxiety to become even worse when the time comes for her to go back. I sympathize with you and your daughter. I wish I had more advice, sorry. Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

Mykelae · 09-08-2008, 10:00 PM

Maybe it isn't just the medication that she needs. But an ear or shoulder to lean on. Ask her how everything is doing. Talk to her with an air that no matter what you're willing to listen, even if you don't really understand what she's going through. Maybe even introduce her to this website. We have a huge range of people in almost every age group. Granted I think many of us are older than her, but it may lessen her fears if only to know that there are people who feel the same way she does.

Really, there's only so much you can do to help her. Eventually she has to find the strength to find help for herself. It's better that she work on being proactive to change than letting her fall apart and grow to be a recluse and stop caring about herself or her world. I know I did for two decades, and I'm still playing catch-up to change my own outlook.

So first, she needs to know that she's not alone. As her mother you can offer her support while she's fighting her own demons. Studies have shown children who had awful childhoods (from being physcially abused to malnutrition, to drugs, etc.) can still grow up to be strong healthy individuals because they had at least one person to support them. Finding the right support is the the major key.

Finding support in a family member is also very instrumental to her recovery. Growing up I'd distanced myself from my parents and especially my mom because I felt betrayed that they couldn't help me. So I refused to talk to them about all of my problems and kept them all bottled up inside me. I hated her and felt I could never trust or believe in her. I didn't feel safe or loved in my house while growing up. So make sure that you ask how she is doing and tell her that you'll always be there for her no matter what, even if you may not really understand her situation.

Don't give up.

And force her to think positive thoughts about herself. Force it down her throat if you have to. The more egotistic she becomes the better she could let other people's criticisms slide off her. It's better to make her change now, then later when her mind is automatically geared to putting herself down.

Ah, this is to say my advice is for the worst case scenario.

Lachlan · 09-08-2008, 11:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mykelae

Really, there's only so much you can do to help her. Eventually she has to find the strength to find help for herself.

This is a little off topic for the thread, and it's not a personal attack or anything, but I strongly feel that this type of approach is so unhelpfull for me. It's not that I have ever lacked strength, and I still don't, to find help for myself (and I'm not sure if you were specifically referring to professional help or not, but either way...), What is strength anyway? - I mean I have never lacked the will. It is vision and clarity that I always feel I struggle with. Always struggle to understand how I am feeling, and how I respond to different situations, what path I should take. But anyway.

09-01-2008, 06:46 AM	#1 (permalink)
mshype Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 1	Affects on school I have a 15 year old daughter that doesn't want to go to school. This has been going on since last year. She was even removed from my home due to truancy. She was in SRS custody, but was placed back in the home. However, she was temporarily removed again, and placed with grandparents due to missing school. She says she feels that "everyone is talking about me". She cries, and gets to the point of hyperventilating when she is upset. She has been on Adderall for ADHD, and is currently on Risperdal for Bi-Polar. I am having a hard time getting her on the right medication that can help her. Anyone have any suggestions?

09-08-2008, 09:32 AM	#2 (permalink)
Lachlan Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 582	Re: Affects on school I don't have any advice, but I feel sypmathy for your daughter. it must be very tough for her. __________________ 'power and greed and corruptible seed seem to be all that there is' – Bob Dylan

09-08-2008, 11:23 AM	#3 (permalink)
Kathy11 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 47	Re: Affects on school The kids can be mean at 15. Maybe she isn't paranoid and the kids are gossiping about her and bullying her more than usual at that age. You could try taking her to a different psychiatrist. Does her psychiatrist specialize in children and adolescents? What sort of school does she go to? In Jr high I went to a small (15kids/grade) christian school and although the academics were poor, there wasn't any gossiping or bullying and the enviorment was very laid back. That could be a good option for other kids who have social anxiety, until they get used to talking to other kids and gain more self confidence. Taking her out of school completely(homeschooling) might cause her social anxiety to become even worse when the time comes for her to go back. I sympathize with you and your daughter. I wish I had more advice, sorry. Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

09-08-2008, 10:00 PM	#4 (permalink)
Mykelae Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 38	Re: Affects on school Maybe it isn't just the medication that she needs. But an ear or shoulder to lean on. Ask her how everything is doing. Talk to her with an air that no matter what you're willing to listen, even if you don't really understand what she's going through. Maybe even introduce her to this website. We have a huge range of people in almost every age group. Granted I think many of us are older than her, but it may lessen her fears if only to know that there are people who feel the same way she does. Really, there's only so much you can do to help her. Eventually she has to find the strength to find help for herself. It's better that she work on being proactive to change than letting her fall apart and grow to be a recluse and stop caring about herself or her world. I know I did for two decades, and I'm still playing catch-up to change my own outlook. So first, she needs to know that she's not alone. As her mother you can offer her support while she's fighting her own demons. Studies have shown children who had awful childhoods (from being physcially abused to malnutrition, to drugs, etc.) can still grow up to be strong healthy individuals because they had at least one person to support them. Finding the right support is the the major key. Finding support in a family member is also very instrumental to her recovery. Growing up I'd distanced myself from my parents and especially my mom because I felt betrayed that they couldn't help me. So I refused to talk to them about all of my problems and kept them all bottled up inside me. I hated her and felt I could never trust or believe in her. I didn't feel safe or loved in my house while growing up. So make sure that you ask how she is doing and tell her that you'll always be there for her no matter what, even if you may not really understand her situation. Don't give up. And force her to think positive thoughts about herself. Force it down her throat if you have to. The more egotistic she becomes the better she could let other people's criticisms slide off her. It's better to make her change now, then later when her mind is automatically geared to putting herself down. Ah, this is to say my advice is for the worst case scenario.