Do you ever feel like a total loser compared to other people?
First off, sorry if there are already a million threads like this, I just wanted to explain from my point of view how I feel.
I feel like I am behind everyone else when it comes to life experience and I feel bad about my past and the future. I hate to say it, but even being on this site makes me feel like I am inadequate and that anyone else reading this probably thinks we are all losers...
I just feel like there are so many standards and expectations put on us in life that are really hard to live up to. For example, just thinking about the idea of still being single at 30 literally makes me almost have a panic attack. I feel that not only do I have to make friends, get into a relationship, marriage, kids, job etc. but I have to do it all while I'm in my 20s. And reading stuff on the internet especially, about what is supposed to be normal, like reading about people 'swallowing the red pill', really scares me.
And then there are the memories of childhood and the feeling of the separation from innocence into this world where nothing is handed to you. Its just so painful to think about life, its painful to age and have life pass you by. Just living hurts for me. And it seems no one else has it this hard, it seems like everyone else is living the 'correct' way and I'm living the 'wrong' way.
Sometimes I think that the way I live is so bad and ive made so many mistakes, that nothing will ever get better no matter what. As of right now, I am living with a constant low buzzing of anxiety in my stomach and the only thing that makes it go away is tv or the internet or distraction. Then when I snap back into reality this panic feeling comes back into me. Not only do I feel like a loser, in fact that is such a nice word compared to what I feel, but that I really am worthless and will never find happiness.
It's just a ride... - Bill Hicks