Who do I sit with at lunch? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 05:30 PM Thread Starter
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Unhappy Who do I sit with at lunch?

I'm a sophomore in high school and I have social anxiety. In the beginning of the year, my lunch table was pretty full. I wouldn't call the people that I sat with my friends, but they were a little more than an acquaintance. A few girls left over about 3 months. So then there were 4 of us, including me. Today at lunch one of the girls that left about a month or two ago came up to two of the girls at my table and asked if they could work together on an assignment that she was having trouble on. They left and this just left me and another girl. I tried to start a conversation with her, but she was just disinterested and we are both very different people. After eating my lunch I saw the three girls who I mentioned earlier in the hallway talking and eating lunch with each other, not actually working on an assignment. I'm scared the one other girl is going to switch tables because she has other friends at a different table and obviously doesn't like me very much.. I don't really have any other friends or aquaintances outside of my lunch table, except for this one girl. I'm scared to ask her if I could sit with her because her table seems to have a lot of people, and I have the class before lunch with her every other day, so I'm nervous for going to her table on days when I don't have class with her if she says yes. It's so hard for me to talk to people and get close to people. I feel like everyone already has a perception of me and doesn't like me so I don't know what to do. I feel so awkward and I dread lunch every day. What do I do?
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 05:33 PM
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Welcome! Try not to overthink social things, especially in high school. I know that sounds hard during the time but please...it will save you valuable time and prevent unnecessary stress.

Try your best to approach someone new and ask if you can sit there...or just sit wherever you want without asking. It may be awkward or they might reject you. But they might not.
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 05:50 PM
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Well you may not want to ask her since she doesnt like you, but try asking someone new if you can sit with them. Or you can ask her if you can sit with her but it takes a little bit of courage due to your SA.
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 06:04 PM
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try to ask that girl you know outside of your lunch table. if she says no, then are you able to talk to some people during class and ask them if u can sit with them today. then if it goes well, u can start sitting with them. Or can u sit in another part of the school, like outside for lunch?

also u said the 2 girls went away today. so maybe tomorrow theyll sit with you and the other girl again?

good luck i know what it feels like to have little friends in school, and it sucks.

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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 09:08 AM
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Welcome, Marley310!

You are a success story waiting to happen!
Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover....
Live and HELP live is better!


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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 09:37 AM
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I had a similar experience in high school.

I only went to eat when my friend was in school. But he skipped school a lot so i almost never ate and went outside insteard or something. A few times I was so hungry I just had to eat so I just sat down with the other people in my class. I mean okay I wasn't unwelcomed but I did not feel comfortable at all.

Would it be out of the question to just sit down at a random table and see what happens? If people are acting cold towards you, it could be that your body language isn't inviting. I have that problem myself: "cold" body language, resting dick face, not seeking people's eye contact = people stay away from you and don't feel like talking to you.

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