07-10-2011, 09:31 PM
Status: Completely Hopeless
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Houston, TX
Originally Posted by amy612
After a series of the most ridiculously depressing events anyone could ever experience, I land here with social anxiety that I have, up until two weeks ago, been medicating with alcohol and drugs...mostly alcohol. Been in and out of the hospital, detox, psych office, treatment. Lost my kids temporarily. Quite honestly life sucks. But... I have a job working at home (a social anxiety sufferer's biggest dream) and I make okay money. I am educated (again, online college rocks.) I'm divorced. Yes, that is a positive thing if you ask me. LOL And I have two daughters who love me unconditionally even if I only get to see them twice a week. I am pretty sure I'm also bipolar and have borderline personality disorder on top of all this-- you could say it's an improvement from the homebound agoraphobia (ages 19 to 21) and avoidant personality disorder that I used to suffer with.
So...just here trying to learn to deal with social anxiety without alcohol. I have a hard time meeting new people (especially guys) without drinking to take the 'edge off'. I started drinking because I felt more socially accepted and personable when I drank. I felt fearless with alcohol. My bad.
So it's time to 'feel the fear and do it anyway' ...just don't drink when I do it. lol
'I can tolerate pain' is a mantra my psychologist has me saying. I guess I could also say 'I can tolerate social inadequacy.' Meh.
Anyway, that is me. I'm Amy and I'm an alcoholic. Er...uh...a social anxiety sufferer. Actually, both. LOL
Does anyone sense my sarcasm and pessmism? lol
Wow, you're story sounds like mine.
I have all the same problems, SAD, agoraphobia, depression...& I use alcohol & drugs to self-medicate. I'm trying to learn to cope without all the drugs also. I have 3 kids. I feel incredibly guilty about putting them thru all this. I just got out of a drug rehab...I was in for 38 days.
I hope this site helps you. Feel free to pm me if u ever want to talk.
Bereavement is a darkness impenetrable to the imagination of the unbereaved. ~Iris Murdoch
Your girlfriend's silence might be her loudest scream.
If you still have more dreams than regrets, congratulations. You haven't gotten old yet.
Spend every moment like it's your last. Hug her, kiss her, hold her, like it's the last time that you ever will. Because it might be.