new here. my own husband makes me nervous. - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-13-2010, 10:03 AM Thread Starter
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new here. my own husband makes me nervous.

Hi ladys and gents. Im just enjoying a little me time while my little one naps. I am medicated, and finding it more and more difficult to relate to others. I absorbs other peoples "energy" like a sponge and the person that I am supposed to trust the most has all of a sudden become my worst emotional nightmare! I love my hubby a lot, he is my second husband, and I have 2 kids from my first marriage and a combination of the tension between them and him being so uptight makes me want to curl into the fetal position and cry! My previous ex and I are friends just too young when we got married, and until we got married my current husband and I got along great- now, its been less than a year and when he walks into the door after work the energy just changes! Am I nuts or can anyone relate to that feeling???
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-13-2010, 10:22 AM
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-13-2010, 10:45 AM
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-13-2010, 10:54 AM
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Welcome to the forum.

You've got a negative anchor going on. Somehow, some feelings have become associated to your husband walking in the door. The husband is not in control of how you feel. You are. Other people have influence but you can put a gun to someone's head and you still can't force them to feel something
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-13-2010, 11:54 AM
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No, you're not nuts. I go through the same thing. My hubs has this way of staring at me when I'm playing with the kids or doing stuff which makes me very nervous.

Anyways, welcome.
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-13-2010, 11:57 AM
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Welcome to TTL
Have you spoken to him about this?

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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-13-2010, 12:15 PM
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Hi LuckyCat1779
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-14-2010, 05:10 PM
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Welcome, LuckyCat1779!

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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-14-2010, 07:34 PM
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I understand what you mean to a point. I constantly found myself asking my ex if he was ok, because I can't seem to trust that he was. I kept thinking he's going to get angry at me, even when I hadn't done anything and even when he was, in fact, perfectly happy. I'm so shy and so afraid of conflict that I imagine it everywhere, even where it isn't. I don't trust my ablity to read other people's behavior. I am aware that I don't have a great social sense, that I'm awkward and uncomfortable, so I constantly think that people are mad me, even when they don't act like it. It's very difficult to live with.
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