Need Advice Please!

[konfused]

Hi everyone,

This is my first post and I was wondering if i could get a bit of advice.

I haven't been diagnosed with SA, but my sister has and had some cognitive behaviour therapy which worked for her. She thinks I should go too becuase we both have the same symptoms (mostly paranoia around people we don't know, shyness, avoiding groups, occasional panic attacks, thinking that people are talking about us when they are not and generally being unable to enjoy ourselves socially). She was told it's due to the way our parents taught us to think (my father is an alcoholic, could get abusive, would always put you down and blame us for things, while my mother did pretty much nothing about it until she finally divorced him when I was 15). I was diagnosed with depression and put on zoloft anout 4 years ago.

2 years ago i moved from a fairly small place to a city so i could study writing. I did an arts degree before that and then worked in a stupid unrelated 9-5 job for a couple of years before moving. I have a boyfriend now, but apart from a few people that I already knew who were living here I haven't made any new friends in 2 years! I made friends a lot more easily when I was back at home. I don't ever remember being this anxious about social situations before I moved. I dont know why but it seems to be getting worse. I act clumsy and stupid at all the wrong times!

The thing that is really bugging me, is that a few people at school think that im not fitting in and I should "go home." Firstly, this really hurts because Im good at what i do, and if i put my mind to it i get really high marks. Secondly, I have barely had a conversation with these people and they are making all these judgements (there are alot of mature age students in the course?). I don't stand up for myself and hide when im feeling under attack. It makes the whole situation worse because then "everybody knows" and Im the centre of attention for all the wrong reasons - and i hate being the centre of attention! I end up avoiding the break in class where everyone goes to socialize and have a coffee - i go off on my own instead. Then im the odd one out. It does nothing for my confidence, and Im not enjoying it.

I dont want to stop what im doing but im really floundering and making slow progress. Im sick of nosy people and i really want to connect more otherwise im just not going to make it.

My boyfriend by the way is sweet, but he has asked me why i dont like being around other people much. He says he wishes that i could be around other people the way i am when im with him.

Any advice please?

[millenniumman75]

Welcome, Konfused!