Social Anxiety Support

illlaymedown · 10-05-2009, 10:15 PM

Hi all...I'm Kira and currently I am 23 years old. I thought I had depression cus as a child my "parents" put me thru a lot of pain and rejection. I was molested by my mom's boyfriend she had while she was still married to my dad and told her and he stayed with him. My sister was put thru a lot more cus he only tried with me twice while he constantly molested her because she was too afraid to tell...now I, being the oldest live with the guilt of not being able to help me sibblings...I am terrified of putting in a job application which is how I found out I had SAD. I have only had one bf and he treated me badly, I think cus he couldn't handle my anxiety and depression. I like someone, but it seems whenever the guys meet me they get annoyed and leave...I am utterly broken and miserable because of this...I don't have a family for support or any money and very few really close friends...I hope talking to others who understand may help me cus I am getting to the edge and too miserable to stand much more. Your prayers would be much appreciated...thanks

~Kira add me on myspace if you'd like

(illlaymedown)

PlanetarySauce · 10-05-2009, 11:00 PM

Welcome to the forums here Kira.
For starters, don't make excuses for yourself.
No one should treat you badly, and if they do it's not because of anything you do. We are all here for you

illlaymedown · 10-05-2009, 11:32 PM

I'm not making excuses, just stating facts so people can understand my particular situation. I haven't been treated good by many people at all. They mostly judge me and then move on. Or they think I dislike them because I'm so anxious that's how it comes off...and my ex even told me he felt like he hated me and that I annoyed him. I don't want pity, but I want to share the hurt with people who'll understand and listen, not judge me and that's what I'm hoping to find here...I feel very alone

PlanetarySauce · 10-06-2009, 12:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by illlaymedown

I'm not making excuses, just stating facts so people can understand my particular situation. I haven't been treated good by many people at all. They mostly judge me and then move on. Or they think I dislike them because I'm so anxious that's how it comes off...and my ex even told me he felt like he hated me and that I annoyed him. I don't want pity, but I want to share the hurt with people who'll understand and listen, not judge me and that's what I'm hoping to find here...I feel very alone

Oh wow. Just saw a pic of you. You're very beautiful.
I just meant you shouldn't blame yourself if others can't handle you. If they can't deal with it then they shouldn't be there.
It's never a good idea to put too much information out there at once though. If you show weaknesses others can be quick to take advantage.
The only reason I do is because I'm tired of hiding and honestly just don't care if people think I'm pathetic.

Trust me and others when we say we can relate to your feelings though. Sadness is about the only emotion I know.

Neptunus · 10-06-2009, 12:15 AM

Glad to have you with us. There are many caring people here!

illlaymedown · 10-06-2009, 12:38 AM

yeah...I get told I'm pretty a lot, but still only had one bf and I have a hard time meeting people...plus that picture was a fluke lol...It was like the right angle, at the right moment, with the right lighting and right makeup :P I love it...anywho, I'm just tired of holding it all in and having no n one who understands me or believes that I even have a problem. Not so long ago I thought I was crazy and alone in this...it's nice to find out it is only the third largest psychological problem in the world. Not to get this crap out of my life so I can have one....and thanks for welcoming me!

PlanetarySauce · 10-06-2009, 12:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by illlaymedown

"I feel like a helpless puppet being manipulated in some major scheme."~ Squall Leonhart

Haha Squall Leonhart, isn't he from Final Fantasy 7?
It's been like 10 years since I played that game. I remember Aires though. She must still be alive!

illlaymedown · 10-06-2009, 01:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by illlaymedown

I'm not making excuses, just stating facts so people can understand my particular situation. I haven't been treated good by many people at all. They mostly judge me and then move on. Or they think I dislike them because I'm so anxious that's how it comes off...and my ex even told me he felt like he hated me and that I annoyed him. I don't want pity, but I want to share the hurt with people who'll understand and listen, not judge me and that's what I'm hoping to find here...I feel very alone

I am on here thru mobile so I'm kinda confused but I see the comment about Squall...he's from FFVIII which is my favorite game, Aeris is from FFVII not VIII.

PlanetarySauce · 10-06-2009, 02:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by illlaymedown

I am on here thru mobile so I'm kinda confused but I see the comment about Squall...he's from FFVIII which is my favorite game, Aeris is from FFVII not VIII.

ooohh. ok. That's right.
I never did finish FF8. I think I got stuck on some boss and just gave up.
Looking forward to FF13 though.

illlaymedown · 10-06-2009, 02:10 AM

ohhhhh....then you have not lived. It is an amazing game. You should definately give it another chance! It is my happy place

I escape into video games I think and it is the best in that respect...

UltraShy · 10-06-2009, 02:22 AM

TorLin · 10-06-2009, 04:17 AM

HELLO lllaymedown,

Welcome to SAS !

jer · 10-06-2009, 04:55 AM

Welcome to the forum Ilaymedown

what happened to you and your sister was terrible. Also it is sad that you mom didnt try to help you.
I hope you are far away from your mom's boyfriend. Also have you tried pressing charges against that guy.

subSeq · 10-06-2009, 05:10 AM

They call it SAD for a reason.

Judi · 10-06-2009, 05:42 AM

I love FFVIII, I like this quote: 'I dreamt I was a moron' - Squall Leonheart , lol.

Anyways, Welcome to the forum

illlaymedown · 10-06-2009, 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Judi

I love FFVIII, I like this quote: 'I dreamt I was a moron' - Squall Leonheart , lol.

Anyways, Welcome to the forum

haha, yeah...Squall is the awesomeness...I love him xD...and yes I am nowhere near that guy anymore, he is in jail for robbing a store at the moment, and no there are no charges considering I was a little kid when it happened and my parents didn't do it.

Toad Licker · 10-06-2009, 10:34 AM

Hey Kira, welcome to

Rixy · 10-06-2009, 11:06 AM

Glad to see that guy is in jail. My dad's friend touched me and my cousin when we were about 8. That was a one time thing, and I didn't scar me or anything. I refuse to tell my dad because he'll probably kill him. Yeah...I'm not joking when I say that

Have fun on these forums. I've been here two days and I'm already addicted

millenniumman75 · 10-09-2009, 05:51 PM

Welcome, IllLayMeDown!

10-05-2009, 10:15 PM	#1 (permalink)
illlaymedown Status: Miseria Cantare Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Mississippi Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 362	my anxiety makes me so sad :( Hi all...I'm Kira and currently I am 23 years old. I thought I had depression cus as a child my "parents" put me thru a lot of pain and rejection. I was molested by my mom's boyfriend she had while she was still married to my dad and told her and he stayed with him. My sister was put thru a lot more cus he only tried with me twice while he constantly molested her because she was too afraid to tell...now I, being the oldest live with the guilt of not being able to help me sibblings...I am terrified of putting in a job application which is how I found out I had SAD. I have only had one bf and he treated me badly, I think cus he couldn't handle my anxiety and depression. I like someone, but it seems whenever the guys meet me they get annoyed and leave...I am utterly broken and miserable because of this...I don't have a family for support or any money and very few really close friends...I hope talking to others who understand may help me cus I am getting to the edge and too miserable to stand much more. Your prayers would be much appreciated...thanks ~Kira add me on myspace if you'd like (illlaymedown)

10-05-2009, 11:00 PM	#2 (permalink)
PlanetarySauce Status: Sad Panda Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Dallas Gender: Male Age: 28 Posts: 174	Welcome to the forums here Kira. For starters, don't make excuses for yourself. No one should treat you badly, and if they do it's not because of anything you do. We are all here for you __________________ To alcohol. The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems -Homer Simpson

10-06-2009, 12:15 AM	#5 (permalink)
Neptunus Status: Authenticating Join Date: Oct 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 2,826	Glad to have you with us. There are many caring people here! __________________ "When I stand before thee at the day's end, thou shalt see my scars and know that I had my wounds and also my healing." ~Rabindranath Tagore "Being gentle means forgiving yourself when you mess up. We should learn from our mistakes, but we shouldn't beat the tar out of ourselves over them. The past is just that, past. Learn what went wrong and why. Make amends if you need to. Then drop it and move on." ---Sean Covey

10-06-2009, 12:38 AM	#6 (permalink)
illlaymedown Status: Miseria Cantare Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Mississippi Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 362	sigh yeah...I get told I'm pretty a lot, but still only had one bf and I have a hard time meeting people...plus that picture was a fluke lol...It was like the right angle, at the right moment, with the right lighting and right makeup :P I love it...anywho, I'm just tired of holding it all in and having no n one who understands me or believes that I even have a problem. Not so long ago I thought I was crazy and alone in this...it's nice to find out it is only the third largest psychological problem in the world. Not to get this crap out of my life so I can have one....and thanks for welcoming me! __________________ "I feel like a helpless puppet being manipulated in some major scheme."~ Squall Leonhart My avatar is my art...www.myspace.com/illlaymedown

10-06-2009, 02:10 AM	#10 (permalink)
illlaymedown Status: Miseria Cantare Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Mississippi Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 362	ohhhhh....then you have not lived. It is an amazing game. You should definately give it another chance! It is my happy place I escape into video games I think and it is the best in that respect... __________________ "I feel like a helpless puppet being manipulated in some major scheme."~ Squall Leonhart My avatar is my art...www.myspace.com/illlaymedown

10-05-2009, 11:32 PM	#3 (permalink)
illlaymedown Status: Miseria Cantare Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Mississippi Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 362	I'm not making excuses, just stating facts so people can understand my particular situation. I haven't been treated good by many people at all. They mostly judge me and then move on. Or they think I dislike them because I'm so anxious that's how it comes off...and my ex even told me he felt like he hated me and that I annoyed him. I don't want pity, but I want to share the hurt with people who'll understand and listen, not judge me and that's what I'm hoping to find here...I feel very alone

10-06-2009, 02:22 AM	#11 (permalink)
UltraShy Status: Accident of Birth Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Milwaukee, WI (Atheist, Libertarian) Gender: Male Age: 36 Posts: 24,561	__________________ Nothing is ever the way it should be What we deserve we just don't get you see http://www.insureyourgunrights.com/

10-06-2009, 04:17 AM	#12 (permalink)
TorLin Status: MayTheForceBeWithYou Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: California Gender: Male Posts: 17,056	HELLO lllaymedown, Welcome to SAS ! __________________ MTFBWU (May The Force Be With You) - TORLIN AIM, MSN, YIM: T0RL1N Skype: Tor_Lin Visit me at; ToryLing.com \| LivingAnxious \| Facebook \| Myspace \| Last.fm

10-06-2009, 04:55 AM	#13 (permalink)
jer Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Texas Gender: Male Posts: 221	Welcome to the forum Ilaymedown what happened to you and your sister was terrible. Also it is sad that you mom didnt try to help you. I hope you are far away from your mom's boyfriend. Also have you tried pressing charges against that guy.

10-06-2009, 05:10 AM	#14 (permalink)
subSeq Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 5	They call it SAD for a reason.

10-06-2009, 05:42 AM	#15 (permalink)
Judi Status: None the wiser Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Melbourne, Australia Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 496	I love FFVIII, I like this quote: 'I dreamt I was a moron' - Squall Leonheart , lol. Anyways, Welcome to the forum __________________ If putting things off is so easy why can't you put off procrastination? Anime list \| deviantart

10-06-2009, 10:34 AM	#17 (permalink)
Toad Licker Status: Broken Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: A Fruitloop Daydream Gender: Male Age: 44 Posts: 29,592	Hey Kira, welcome to __________________ All will wither, go to sleep The ones you love you may not keep All you touch will fall apart The dreams you kill will break your heart There's no mercy, there's no rest The void will scream within your chest No one knows and no one will So leave this place that makes you Ill - Madder Mortem

10-06-2009, 11:06 AM	#18 (permalink)
Rixy Status: Falling into Guru Muhk Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: UK Gender: Male Age: 17 Posts: 214	Glad to see that guy is in jail. My dad's friend touched me and my cousin when we were about 8. That was a one time thing, and I didn't scar me or anything. I refuse to tell my dad because he'll probably kill him. Yeah...I'm not joking when I say that Have fun on these forums. I've been here two days and I'm already addicted

10-09-2009, 05:51 PM	#19 (permalink)
millenniumman75 Status: Super Moderator Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Dayton-Cincinnati, OH Gender: Male Age: 34 Posts: 38,623	Welcome, IllLayMeDown! __________________ millenniumman75 You are a success story waiting to happen! Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover.... Live and HELP live is better!