hi this is my story

[ndk]

i think that my anxiety started around the age of 9 or 10. I was born with a muscle disorder called hypotonia or low muscle tone. What that basically means is that i am weaker , run slower that sort of thing. The thing is that i love sports. When i was younger i was on the local peewee baseball team. For those of you that don't know this is when the coaches pitch to you. The thing was was that i was the "manager" it said so on the back of my shirt. i would beg my coach to get one at bat because i loved the game so much. but at the same time i felt like everyone was laughing at me because i ran so slow and hardly ever got on base. i am 27 and looking back on it i would say that is when my anxiety started.

i had a small group of friends in high school, there was 6 of us but now they have all almost moved on except for one i haven't had any contact with the other four for years. i would say i really have only two real friends. they love to go out and drink every weekend and meet girls. but as much as i want to i don't see the point in going to the same places every weekend to get drunk and take a girl home . i am not saying what they do is wrong if that is what makes them happy.

i will give you an example of why i don't go out anymore. about three years ago we went to a bar for someone birthday which i kind of forced myself to do. so anyway about 5 or 6 of us walk in and sit at the bar. the bartender comes over to take our orders. she goes down the line (did i mention she was very attractive by the way)and takes everyones orders and when she gets to me she simply keeps on moving and walks away i look to my buddy and say like what the hell. a few minutes later she comes past us and my friend says "i think this little guy wants a drink" the guy next to him starts laughing and she says like a quick oh sorry. i then called my 16 year old brother at the time to come pick me up and i sucked down my drink and left and i have not gone out since.

because of my anxiety i have lost friends,dropped out of college, never had a date and still work at the same place since i was 15. it has just gotten worse as i have gotten older and i don't know what to do. just looking for some advice and some who knows what i am going through. Thanks for reading!

[glarmph]

[Indigo Flow]

Hello welcome to the forum

[TorLin]

HELLO

ndk





Welcome to SAS !

[matty]

ndk,
That is a story.
I love my sport too and for a kid to be made the manager is not right. You should have been free to play. By the sounds of it you did get to play at some point. Really at any age it doesnt matter how good or bad you are it is about having fun and getting exercise.

It is hard sometimes with friends when all they want to do is drink and all you want to do is avoid pubs and clubs. in the end you get invited no where and sit at home. Well thats my experience.

Could you have over thought the barmaid thing? Like it does sound a little tough with the other guy laughing but maybe she was just busy or something.

[millenniumman75]

NDK,

I think that post is a declaration that you are not going to let anxiety hold you back anymore. You deserve to have a free life from anxiety, that is for sure. Coming here can certainly help because you can get to know people here and how to combat the anxiety through what we have learned.

You aren't that little guy anymore - you are brave enough to face a fear to come here and get help.

Welcome to the forum!

[Toad Licker]

Hey ndk

[ZAFFAR]

Welcome ndk to SAS Forums.

I second matty on "It is hard sometimes with friends when all they want to do is drink and all you want to do is avoid pubs and clubs. in the end you get invited no where and sit at home. Well thats my experience."

you can go with them and try to socialize or not get invited and can stay home, its your choice.

i think that's your SA that you think she ignored you, she might be busy in taking orders.

I hope you find others experiences here of help and overcome your SA.

Enjoy.

Originally Posted by ndk

i think that my anxiety started around the age of 9 or 10. I was born with a muscle disorder called hypotonia or low muscle tone. What that basically means is that i am weaker , run slower that sort of thing. The thing is that i love sports. When i was younger i was on the local peewee baseball team. For those of you that don't know this is when the coaches pitch to you. The thing was was that i was the "manager" it said so on the back of my shirt. i would beg my coach to get one at bat because i loved the game so much. but at the same time i felt like everyone was laughing at me because i ran so slow and hardly ever got on base. i am 27 and looking back on it i would say that is when my anxiety started.

i had a small group of friends in high school, there was 6 of us but now they have all almost moved on except for one i haven't had any contact with the other four for years. i would say i really have only two real friends. they love to go out and drink every weekend and meet girls. but as much as i want to i don't see the point in going to the same places every weekend to get drunk and take a girl home . i am not saying what they do is wrong if that is what makes them happy.

i will give you an example of why i don't go out anymore. about three years ago we went to a bar for someone birthday which i kind of forced myself to do. so anyway about 5 or 6 of us walk in and sit at the bar. the bartender comes over to take our orders. she goes down the line (did i mention she was very attractive by the way)and takes everyones orders and when she gets to me she simply keeps on moving and walks away i look to my buddy and say like what the hell. a few minutes later she comes past us and my friend says "i think this little guy wants a drink" the guy next to him starts laughing and she says like a quick oh sorry. i then called my 16 year old brother at the time to come pick me up and i sucked down my drink and left and i have not gone out since.

because of my anxiety i have lost friends,dropped out of college, never had a date and still work at the same place since i was 15. it has just gotten worse as i have gotten older and i don't know what to do. just looking for some advice and some who knows what i am going through. Thanks for reading!