Social Anxiety Support

alfman123 · 09-12-2009, 02:16 PM

Just recently joined the site and I am excited to be a part of it. I just found out that I have Social Anxiety Disorder a few weeks ago, but I have been struggling with it for a number of years now. My SAD has been a problem since the 6th grade, I am now a senior in high school and it has been tough. In middle school, I was bullied and had a difficult time trusting people or building positive self-esteem as a result. I was betrayed by some people that I was close to, and so my main problem since then has been the way that I approach relationships with other people. In school, I have become much less anxious than I was and have an easier time approaching and talking to people. But sometimes it just feels like everyone is an acquaintance, and for a long time I was convinced that people were pretending to be friends with me. That has improved mostly, but I am worried about trying too hard to become friends with someone either in or out of school, and then that they will reject me completely. As a result, I feel very isolated and have struggled with self esteem issues. I have trouble fitting in with specific cliques, which is a bit of a problem in high school. I have had a lot of success by starting a very popular club at my school, but it didn't make me feel like a social success because I didn't feel like I had real relationships with people. For a while, I thought that no one wanted to talk to me and that people just did so because they felt sorry for me, but now I am trying to convince myself that this isn't true; I have only partially succeeded. I eventually realized that I am funny, interesting, friendly, and outgoing, it's just hard for me to get real relationships with people because I feel like they don't often see me as such. I feel sad that several years of my life have been "lost", but I am looking ahead at the future. I am really trying to improve my fears of rejection and messing up, because I want a good start when I go to college next year. I really hope to someday soon have real relationships and friendships with people without feeling so nervous all the time. So I think that this will be a good place to start and work on improving myself, look forward to getting to know all of you better!

TorLin · 09-12-2009, 02:20 PM

HELLO alfman123, Welcome to SAS !

UltraShy · 09-12-2009, 02:30 PM

susan nabeel · 09-12-2009, 02:50 PM

hey .. im new too .. i have most of the issues that you mentioned... here is something that can help you.. no one have the right to offend you and if you need a reason to convense your self just say this to your self( i dont treat people badly so i have the right not to be treated badly) if you dont feel like in a real relationhip ,,allow me,you could be just trying to please people instead of being who you are ,,and this is very wrong,,be your self.. if people didnt love you , its not a big deal ,, you ll find others,,
if people didnt love you, you still have the right to be respected,, dont ever give up this right..
susan

Toad Licker · 09-12-2009, 03:37 PM

Hey alfman123, welcome to

millenniumman75 · 09-13-2009, 01:43 PM

Welcome, Alfman123!

09-12-2009, 02:16 PM	#1 (permalink)
alfman123 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: North Carolina Posts: 3	Hi everyone! Just recently joined the site and I am excited to be a part of it. I just found out that I have Social Anxiety Disorder a few weeks ago, but I have been struggling with it for a number of years now. My SAD has been a problem since the 6th grade, I am now a senior in high school and it has been tough. In middle school, I was bullied and had a difficult time trusting people or building positive self-esteem as a result. I was betrayed by some people that I was close to, and so my main problem since then has been the way that I approach relationships with other people. In school, I have become much less anxious than I was and have an easier time approaching and talking to people. But sometimes it just feels like everyone is an acquaintance, and for a long time I was convinced that people were pretending to be friends with me. That has improved mostly, but I am worried about trying too hard to become friends with someone either in or out of school, and then that they will reject me completely. As a result, I feel very isolated and have struggled with self esteem issues. I have trouble fitting in with specific cliques, which is a bit of a problem in high school. I have had a lot of success by starting a very popular club at my school, but it didn't make me feel like a social success because I didn't feel like I had real relationships with people. For a while, I thought that no one wanted to talk to me and that people just did so because they felt sorry for me, but now I am trying to convince myself that this isn't true; I have only partially succeeded. I eventually realized that I am funny, interesting, friendly, and outgoing, it's just hard for me to get real relationships with people because I feel like they don't often see me as such. I feel sad that several years of my life have been "lost", but I am looking ahead at the future. I am really trying to improve my fears of rejection and messing up, because I want a good start when I go to college next year. I really hope to someday soon have real relationships and friendships with people without feeling so nervous all the time. So I think that this will be a good place to start and work on improving myself, look forward to getting to know all of you better!

09-12-2009, 02:20 PM	#2 (permalink)
TorLin Status: MayTheForceBeWithYou Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: California Gender: Male Posts: 17,058	HELLO alfman123, Welcome to SAS ! __________________ MTFBWU (May The Force Be With You) - TORLIN AIM, MSN, YIM: T0RL1N Skype: Tor_Lin Visit me at; ToryLing.com \| LivingAnxious \| Facebook \| Myspace \| Last.fm

09-12-2009, 02:30 PM	#3 (permalink)
UltraShy Status: Accident of Birth Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Milwaukee, WI (Atheist, Libertarian) Gender: Male Age: 36 Posts: 24,572	__________________ Nothing is ever the way it should be What we deserve we just don't get you see http://www.insureyourgunrights.com/

09-12-2009, 02:50 PM	#4 (permalink)
susan nabeel Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: somewhere Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 12	welcome hey .. im new too .. i have most of the issues that you mentioned... here is something that can help you.. no one have the right to offend you and if you need a reason to convense your self just say this to your self( i dont treat people badly so i have the right not to be treated badly) if you dont feel like in a real relationhip ,,allow me,you could be just trying to please people instead of being who you are ,,and this is very wrong,,be your self.. if people didnt love you , its not a big deal ,, you ll find others,, if people didnt love you, you still have the right to be respected,, dont ever give up this right.. susan

09-12-2009, 03:37 PM	#5 (permalink)
Toad Licker Status: Broken Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: A Fruitloop Daydream Gender: Male Age: 44 Posts: 29,617	Hey alfman123, welcome to __________________ All will wither, go to sleep The ones you love you may not keep All you touch will fall apart The dreams you kill will break your heart There's no mercy, there's no rest The void will scream within your chest No one knows and no one will So leave this place that makes you Ill - Madder Mortem

09-13-2009, 01:43 PM	#6 (permalink)
millenniumman75 Status: Super Moderator Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Dayton-Cincinnati, OH Gender: Male Age: 34 Posts: 38,628	Welcome, Alfman123! __________________ millenniumman75 You are a success story waiting to happen! Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover.... Live and HELP live is better!