Social Anxiety Support

SicilianuAmericanu · 07-05-2011, 10:00 PM

Hi, my name is Anthony, and I'm here I guess because just want to find people that understand me and how I feel. I'm 21 years old and I have social anxiety, but I also have general anxiety, and depression and I've been in therapy for the past 5 or 6 years. I feel like I'm going to be for the rest of my life.

I have no friends, no friends all though out high school, I mean I have two friends, one of which is my best friend who I grew up with, we've known each other since were four years old and he is the complete opposite of me, Extroverted , Athletic, Popular. He moved away to the other side of the country right before I started therapy, we still keep in touch from time to time, but I haven't seen him since. The other is a guy who I'm friends with because his and my family are friends, He's four years younger than me, and I never see him. He's always busy with soccer or his girl friend, I haven't seen him in months. He never calls me or wants to hangout, even when he doesn't have a girlfriend. He couldn't even take a night off from soccer to go the comedy club with me on my birthday to see Joy Koy preform. Yet he was able to take a week off to go to beach week with his friend Andy.

I just feel so alone. I never even been to a party before or been out on a date, never been drunk, never been to a concert before like all my older cousins have. And when ever I hear about people doing these thing and all their fun experiences it just makes me more depressed. I remember once my older cousin's husband told me I should worry about about making friends and and meeting girls it will all come naturally, and I can't help but think of what a huge lie that was.

I feel like I'm a ****ing freak. It's like I'm autistic or something, IDK. And I feel like people can tell just by looking at me. I don't think I could ever possibly hold a conversation with someone, I have no idea how to start one, and I feel like whatever I say sounds retarded. I have no job, and I'm in college but I still haven't picked a major. I don't know what the **** I want to do with my life. Does it really matter what I do if I'm gonna be alone for the rest of it, I'm be miserable no matter what I do. I feel like ever since my best friend left I've just been rotting away. And I'm seeing people way younger than me having experience that I never had, being part of a group like I never was, Living life. It's enough to make me blow my brains out, but I would never do that, so I'm just going to have to continue to rot.

joe11 · 07-05-2011, 10:17 PM

Hi Anthony,

I go through to a lot of the feelings you go through myself and I know how tough it is. I get exactly the same feelings when I see people doing things I believe I can't do or haven't done. I never did the things you listed there either apart from been drunk to a degree anyway.

I do also feel completely the same as you expressed in that last paragraph. It's not true though that you or I are a freak. It's just a thought we sometimes and probably often think. I am sure you have done things in life that I haven't done and vice versa and the same others too. You won't have those things you crave if you completely give up but you still have a chance even if it is difficult if you keep trying.

Beating yourself up really won't do anything to help you, I know that from experience too. If you ever want to talk about anything please send me a message.

my original username · 07-05-2011, 10:19 PM

I feel sort of horrible for saying this, but I'm glad you posted all of that. I mean I'm not glad you're going through all of that, because I'm not. I wouldn't wish that on anybody ever. But, hell, like 90% of that is stuff I can seriously relate too. I've even considered the possibility of having autism because I struggle with eye contact and social situations so much. There's a lot of other similar stuff, like my best friend moving away, and having no idea what to major in, and feeling like the loneliest freak in the world. It's sort of a relief reading this and knowing that there are other people going through this ****, and all of this pain and frustration that comes along with anxiety, because it makes me feel like a little less of a freak and a failure. Um ... I hope this post makes you feel like a little less like a freak too.

SicilianuAmericanu · 07-05-2011, 10:50 PM

Thank you guys, that makes me feel better. I'm going to bed. Good night.

millenniumman75 · 07-05-2011, 10:53 PM

Welcome, SicilianuAmericanu!

joe11 · 07-05-2011, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SicilianuAmericanu

Thank you guys, that makes me feel better. I'm going to bed. Good night.

Glad it did.

Goodnight

Toad Licker · 07-06-2011, 10:43 AM

Hey Anthony, welcome to

shadow cougar · 07-06-2011, 11:47 AM

Hello and welcome.

Unknownn · 07-06-2011, 04:16 PM

Welcomee

Hope you find this site helpful!

GregW · 07-06-2011, 05:33 PM

Hi Anthony, I'm also new here and I could relate very closely with everything you said. I have felt like a freak of nature for being socially awkward and nervous. Sometimes I have wondered if I'm autistic/aspergers or have avoidant personality disorder, but have not been diagnosed with any of these. I hope you find the forum a helpful place to talk to others with similar issues!

Railroad Cancellation · 08-18-2011, 01:02 AM

Meet people off SAS, sir. Buona fortuna! E, benvenuto

Volcom23 · 08-18-2011, 02:49 AM

welcome to SAS!

NobodysPerfect · 08-18-2011, 04:45 AM

Welcome to the site...hope you find it useful

MavenMI6Agent009 · 08-18-2011, 09:33 AM

welcome

07-05-2011, 10:00 PM	#1 (permalink)
SicilianuAmericanu Status: Fading Away Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Maryland Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 547	Hi Hi, my name is Anthony, and I'm here I guess because just want to find people that understand me and how I feel. I'm 21 years old and I have social anxiety, but I also have general anxiety, and depression and I've been in therapy for the past 5 or 6 years. I feel like I'm going to be for the rest of my life. I have no friends, no friends all though out high school, I mean I have two friends, one of which is my best friend who I grew up with, we've known each other since were four years old and he is the complete opposite of me, Extroverted , Athletic, Popular. He moved away to the other side of the country right before I started therapy, we still keep in touch from time to time, but I haven't seen him since. The other is a guy who I'm friends with because his and my family are friends, He's four years younger than me, and I never see him. He's always busy with soccer or his girl friend, I haven't seen him in months. He never calls me or wants to hangout, even when he doesn't have a girlfriend. He couldn't even take a night off from soccer to go the comedy club with me on my birthday to see Joy Koy preform. Yet he was able to take a week off to go to beach week with his friend Andy. I just feel so alone. I never even been to a party before or been out on a date, never been drunk, never been to a concert before like all my older cousins have. And when ever I hear about people doing these thing and all their fun experiences it just makes me more depressed. I remember once my older cousin's husband told me I should worry about about making friends and and meeting girls it will all come naturally, and I can't help but think of what a huge lie that was. I feel like I'm a **ing freak. It's like I'm autistic or something, IDK. And I feel like people can tell just by looking at me. I don't think I could ever possibly hold a conversation with someone, I have no idea how to start one, and I feel like whatever I say sounds retarded. I have no job, and I'm in college but I still haven't picked a major. I don't know what the ** I want to do with my life. Does it really matter what I do if I'm gonna be alone for the rest of it, I'm be miserable no matter what I do. I feel like ever since my best friend left I've just been rotting away. And I'm seeing people way younger than me having experience that I never had, being part of a group like I never was, Living life. It's enough to make me blow my brains out, but I would never do that, so I'm just going to have to continue to rot.

07-05-2011, 10:53 PM	#5 (permalink)
millenniumman75 Status: Mentor Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Dayton, OH Gender: Male Age: 37 Posts: 91,784	Welcome, SicilianuAmericanu! __________________ millenniumman75 You are a success story waiting to happen! Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover.... Live and HELP live is better! TROLL ALERT STATUS: CHAT -> BERT FORUMS -> ERNIE (troll activity on the increase) WATCH WHAT YOU TYPE!

07-06-2011, 10:43 AM	#7 (permalink)
Toad Licker Status: Broken Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: A Fruitloop Daydream Gender: Male Posts: 83,602	Hey Anthony, welcome to __________________ I've been swallowed up by greed. I've been spat upon by lust If they ain't playing with your money they're playing with your trust And I'm trying so hard to stop sitting still To gather the juice that's been spent or been spilled To find a spark in myself that hasn't been killed Cause if Death doesn't get you then Life surely will I've been chasing a lie I was sold Running down thieves and fool's gold And these Christmas dreams are just painted coal - Bree Sharp

07-06-2011, 11:47 AM	#8 (permalink)
shadow cougar Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Hertfordshire, England Gender: Male Age: 31 Posts: 1,301	Hello and welcome. __________________ Death begins from the day you are born but life begins when you make the choice to live.

08-18-2011, 02:49 AM	#12 (permalink)
Volcom23 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Philippines Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 72	welcome to SAS! __________________ Join me here! http://www.clixsense.com/?3436494

07-05-2011, 10:17 PM	#2 (permalink)
joe11 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Ireland Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 698	Hi Anthony, I go through to a lot of the feelings you go through myself and I know how tough it is. I get exactly the same feelings when I see people doing things I believe I can't do or haven't done. I never did the things you listed there either apart from been drunk to a degree anyway. I do also feel completely the same as you expressed in that last paragraph. It's not true though that you or I are a freak. It's just a thought we sometimes and probably often think. I am sure you have done things in life that I haven't done and vice versa and the same others too. You won't have those things you crave if you completely give up but you still have a chance even if it is difficult if you keep trying. Beating yourself up really won't do anything to help you, I know that from experience too. If you ever want to talk about anything please send me a message.

07-05-2011, 10:19 PM	#3 (permalink)
my original username Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: California Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 5	I feel sort of horrible for saying this, but I'm glad you posted all of that. I mean I'm not glad you're going through all of that, because I'm not. I wouldn't wish that on anybody ever. But, hell, like 90% of that is stuff I can seriously relate too. I've even considered the possibility of having autism because I struggle with eye contact and social situations so much. There's a lot of other similar stuff, like my best friend moving away, and having no idea what to major in, and feeling like the loneliest freak in the world. It's sort of a relief reading this and knowing that there are other people going through this ****, and all of this pain and frustration that comes along with anxiety, because it makes me feel like a little less of a freak and a failure. Um ... I hope this post makes you feel like a little less like a freak too.

07-05-2011, 10:50 PM	#4 (permalink)
SicilianuAmericanu Status: Fading Away Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Maryland Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 547	Thank you guys, that makes me feel better. I'm going to bed. Good night.

07-06-2011, 04:16 PM	#9 (permalink)
Unknownn Status: Sarah Join Date: May 2009 Location: England Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 122	Welcomee Hope you find this site helpful!

07-06-2011, 05:33 PM	#10 (permalink)
GregW Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Canberra area, Australia Gender: Male Age: 45 Posts: 103	Hi Anthony, I'm also new here and I could relate very closely with everything you said. I have felt like a freak of nature for being socially awkward and nervous. Sometimes I have wondered if I'm autistic/aspergers or have avoidant personality disorder, but have not been diagnosed with any of these. I hope you find the forum a helpful place to talk to others with similar issues!

08-18-2011, 01:02 AM	#11 (permalink)
Railroad Cancellation Status: User Requested Temporary Ban Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Melbourne Gender: Male Posts: 4,369	Meet people off SAS, sir. Buona fortuna! E, benvenuto

08-18-2011, 04:45 AM	#13 (permalink)
NobodysPerfect Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: London Gender: Female Age: 24 Posts: 178	Welcome to the site...hope you find it useful __________________ "You always hurt the one you love, The one you shouldn't hurt at all You always take the sweetest rose And crush it till the petals fall..."

08-18-2011, 09:33 AM	#14 (permalink)
MavenMI6Agent009 Status: UnDERrAted Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: EL Crappo, Tx Gender: Male Age: 28 Posts: 25,755	welcome __________________ "The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares." (Henri Nouwen) -------------------------------------------------------