Social Anxiety Support

jessica200131 · 10-24-2009, 08:53 AM

Hey everyone,

my name is Jessica. I'm 20 years old and I started treatment (Effexor + Ativan) for SA about 6 months ago. So far, it's alright. I've needed this for a long time though.
I've been like this since I was 11 or 12. Probably earlier. I hated school just because of my constant anxiety of being around everyone and the possibility of having to speak in front of everyone, so I barely went. But I did manage to graduate ... which was an extrememly nerve wracking experience. I didn't even bring a date... lol. Oh well, that's over and done with now.
I did manage to have "somewhat" of a social life in high school though. I got into drugs & alcohol when I was about 14 (coke, ecstasy, weed, everything.) So, that's how I dealt with the nervousness and stress at parties and hanging out with friends. Eventually, I found my whole life evolved around drugs. Still kinda do acutally...
Anyways, I never had a boyfriend or even a first kiss until I was 17. And, I was wasted all the time so it don't even count. I made a lot of stupid mistakes.

I have a wonderful boyfriend now, he's my first love and we've been living together for 2 years now.
My Social Anxiety feels like it's taking over my life! I barely ever go outside without my boyfriend. I'm very dependent on him, which I know is a bad thing. He supports me, I need a job. It's just so stressful. And I don't think he understands why I'm so freaked out about getting a job. Like, I can't even sleep when I think about it!!! It makes me want to scream! But I know I should do it, I think about it 24/7 .. I just need to build up the nerve I think... I don't know. My life is messed up.
My best friend just died. She was 27. She died the day before my birthday ... October 5th ... I miss her. We don't even know how she died yet and I don't know how I'm gonna get through this. I'm in shock still ... she was the only friend I had beside my boyfriend... life sucks...
Anyways, that's me so far....
Jessica

millenniumman75 · 10-24-2009, 09:23 AM

Welcome, Jessica200131!

Toad Licker · 10-24-2009, 10:32 AM

Hey Jessica, welcome to

Just Lurking · 10-24-2009, 12:04 PM

Hey Jessica, welcome

Demerzel · 10-24-2009, 03:22 PM

Trini · 10-24-2009, 03:46 PM

Welcome Jessica! I'm sorry your best friend died - I have a best friend and can't even consider the possibility of her not being apart of my life anymore (even though she's living in Cananda and I live in the US).

I'm glad you've joined. Getting frustrated enough to take this step is a big step so good job!

TorLin · 10-24-2009, 04:13 PM

HELLO jessica200131 ,

Welcome to SAS !

jessica200131 · 10-25-2009, 06:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trini

Welcome Jessica! I'm sorry your best friend died - I have a best friend and can't even consider the possibility of her not being apart of my life anymore (even though she's living in Cananda and I live in the US).

I'm glad you've joined. Getting frustrated enough to take this step is a big step so good job!

Thanks Trini, it's really hard ... life is so boring all of a sudden, I have no one to talk to ... all I do is look at her facebook page and her pictures. It's still so hard to believe that she's really gone ... it's been 20 days today since she died. I can't believe it.

Thanks to everyone else too! Appreciate it!

10-24-2009, 08:53 AM	#1 (permalink)
jessica200131 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Newfoundland, Canada Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 15	Hello! Hey everyone, my name is Jessica. I'm 20 years old and I started treatment (Effexor + Ativan) for SA about 6 months ago. So far, it's alright. I've needed this for a long time though. I've been like this since I was 11 or 12. Probably earlier. I hated school just because of my constant anxiety of being around everyone and the possibility of having to speak in front of everyone, so I barely went. But I did manage to graduate ... which was an extrememly nerve wracking experience. I didn't even bring a date... lol. Oh well, that's over and done with now. I did manage to have "somewhat" of a social life in high school though. I got into drugs & alcohol when I was about 14 (coke, ecstasy, weed, everything.) So, that's how I dealt with the nervousness and stress at parties and hanging out with friends. Eventually, I found my whole life evolved around drugs. Still kinda do acutally... Anyways, I never had a boyfriend or even a first kiss until I was 17. And, I was wasted all the time so it don't even count. I made a lot of stupid mistakes. I have a wonderful boyfriend now, he's my first love and we've been living together for 2 years now. My Social Anxiety feels like it's taking over my life! I barely ever go outside without my boyfriend. I'm very dependent on him, which I know is a bad thing. He supports me, I need a job. It's just so stressful. And I don't think he understands why I'm so freaked out about getting a job. Like, I can't even sleep when I think about it!!! It makes me want to scream! But I know I should do it, I think about it 24/7 .. I just need to build up the nerve I think... I don't know. My life is messed up. My best friend just died. She was 27. She died the day before my birthday ... October 5th ... I miss her. We don't even know how she died yet and I don't know how I'm gonna get through this. I'm in shock still ... she was the only friend I had beside my boyfriend... life sucks... Anyways, that's me so far.... Jessica

10-24-2009, 09:23 AM	#2 (permalink)
millenniumman75 Status: Mentor Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Dayton, OH Gender: Male Age: 37 Posts: 91,754	Welcome, Jessica200131! __________________ millenniumman75 You are a success story waiting to happen! Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover.... Live and HELP live is better! TROLL ALERT STATUS: CHAT -> BERT FORUMS -> ERNIE (troll activity on the increase) WATCH WHAT YOU TYPE!

10-24-2009, 10:32 AM	#3 (permalink)
Toad Licker Status: Broken Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: A Fruitloop Daydream Gender: Male Posts: 83,599	Hey Jessica, welcome to __________________ I've been swallowed up by greed. I've been spat upon by lust If they ain't playing with your money they're playing with your trust And I'm trying so hard to stop sitting still To gather the juice that's been spent or been spilled To find a spark in myself that hasn't been killed Cause if Death doesn't get you then Life surely will I've been chasing a lie I was sold Running down thieves and fool's gold And these Christmas dreams are just painted coal - Bree Sharp

10-24-2009, 12:04 PM	#4 (permalink)
Just Lurking Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Ontario, Canada Gender: Male Posts: 10,464	Hey Jessica, welcome __________________

10-24-2009, 04:13 PM	#7 (permalink)
TorLin Status: MayTheForceBeWithYou Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: California Gender: Male Posts: 19,555	HELLO jessica200131 , Welcome to SAS ! __________________ " You were deceived. And now, your Republic shall fall. "

10-24-2009, 03:22 PM	#5 (permalink)
Demerzel Status: User Requested Permanent Ban Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 1,329

10-24-2009, 03:46 PM	#6 (permalink)
Trini Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 77	Welcome Jessica! I'm sorry your best friend died - I have a best friend and can't even consider the possibility of her not being apart of my life anymore (even though she's living in Cananda and I live in the US). I'm glad you've joined. Getting frustrated enough to take this step is a big step so good job!