Social Anxiety Support

bwidger85 · 03-14-2010, 09:24 PM

I realize that this probably isn't the best place to ask but, what excites people about socializing? Why do some people (those without SA) gravitate to be so social all the time? How do you think they view it? What do they get from it?

Sunshine009 · 03-14-2010, 09:53 PM

At their best, they love sharing their joy and to care about people directly. They do not think as much as we do about things. When we think within ourselves its like we go into mild trances we dont' come out of with others around, we are still in our heads. That is the plight of introverts yet we have other strengths.We care too but its more selective, we are perceptive maybe a little more, but that doesn't mean we interpet it right what we percieve. It all evens out though

bwidger85 · 03-14-2010, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunshine009

At their best, they love sharing their joy and to care about people directly. They do not think as much as we do about things. When we think within ourselves its like we go into mild trances we dont' come out of with others around, we are still in our heads. That is the plight of introverts yet we have other strengths.We care too but its more selective, we are perceptive maybe a little more, but that doesn't mean we interpet it right what we percieve. It all evens out though

Hm, that is interesting and something that I'll probably ponder about. I think you have some valid points, especially about the "sharing joy" and introverted "mild traces".

Me, personally, I like to think about things a lot (not if it is depressing), maybe more than I like to talk at times, but I also experience that urge to share my "joys" when I feel it. With that said, perhaps I'm just not feeling that type of "joy" enough to want to socialize more often? Something to think about...

Very interesting and insightful response!

lyssado707 · 03-14-2010, 11:06 PM

Well it can be kinda fun if u are totally comfortable with the people and engaging in fun/interesting activities or conversation. But getting comfortable w/SA is crazily hard. It very rarely happens w/me.

Dub16 · 03-15-2010, 01:08 AM

Because it makes me feel happy to have friends around me.

bwidger85 · 03-15-2010, 01:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dub16

Because it makes me feel happy to have friends around me.

I'm more talking about the act of socializing for enjoyment purposes, but I suppose this fits in with that.

Dub16 · 03-15-2010, 01:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bwidger85

I'm more talking about the act of socializing for enjoyment purposes, but I suppose this fits in with that.

Aye, my reply was a wee bit lazy I guess... Still only waking up here!

I think people are just naturally drawn to other people. If you can sit around in a group of friends talking and sharing a laugh and a joke then it's obviously a good mood booster.
And if you reach the stage where your comfortable talking about your personal issues/problems/highs/lows with other people then its also very therapeutic and its equally nice to get to help your peers back in return.

I dont think that people without SA necessarily view the act of socialising any differently that we do. It's just that they CAN do it without all the awkwardness and hardship. And we CANT.

CeilingStarer · 03-15-2010, 03:18 AM

I can see the benefits in socialising, and sometimes crave it. Usually I dread it beforehand, but I've often had a good night out if it's been people I'm comfortable with. It's a chance to get out of your own head, be inspired and just relate to others. Some activities are just a lot more fun if you've got someone else to share it with, and then reflect/debate upon it later... especially art/music/film/philosophical type activities (if the other people are intelligent, introspective types). It can get you thinking from other perspectives, keeping your mind open and fresh.

You also often end up doing things you never would alone, discover new cuisines or find out about new authors, directors, musicians that will bring joy to your life. People turn you onto new things which you can exploit in your hermit time. i.e. I got turned onto mature anime whilst socialising one night... nowadays I watch a hell of a lot of it whilst alone.

This is still a pretty introverted take on socialising though. I don't know why the super extroverted types enjoy it. They just just seem to want to be around people for the sake of being around people 24/7. I can't fathom that.

BetaBoy90 · 03-15-2010, 04:50 AM

Socializing gives people the ability to exchange emotions with each other and get things off their chests that they can't do by themselves. I hear sharing emotions with some one can be quite beneficial for yourself. Couldn't say for sure if it is true though

Solobikerider · 03-15-2010, 07:10 AM

Believe it or not even antisocialites have a need for attention and sharing with others...but socialites thrive on it.

Rufus · 03-15-2010, 07:27 AM

The simple answer to "Why do people like to socialize?" would be that it is a survival instinct to do so, and each time we do so successively, we are rewarded by the release of chemicals in our brains such as dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin. Why some enjoy socializing more than others, well, I suppose that is due to slight variances in the composition of our brains as well as environmental factors.

bwidger85 · 03-15-2010, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CeilingStarer

It's a chance to get out of your own head, be inspired and just relate to others. Some activities are just a lot more fun if you've got someone else to share it with, and then reflect/debate upon it later... especially art/music/film/philosophical type activities (if the other people are intelligent, introspective types). It can get you thinking from other perspectives, keeping your mind open and fresh.

You also often end up doing things you never would alone, discover new cuisines or find out about new authors, directors, musicians that will bring joy to your life. People turn you onto new things which you can exploit in your hermit time. i.e. I got turned onto mature anime whilst socialising one night... nowadays I watch a hell of a lot of it whilst alone.

This makes a lot of sense. I hardly ever would want to go to a concert alone or to an art gallery. I could see how these events would be even more enjoyable with company. Also, your point on opening your mind and "thinking from different perspectives" makes it seem pretty interesting; almost like and adventure really. That is inspiring to understand...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rufus

The simple answer to "Why do people like to socialize?" would be that it is a survival instinct to do so, and each time we do so successively, we are rewarded by the release of chemicals in our brains such as dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin. Why some enjoy socializing more than others, well, I suppose that is due to slight variances in the composition of our brains as well as environmental factors.

Can you explain these "variances" in the brain and why you think they'd make someone socialize more? Just kind of give an example/comparison or something?

03-14-2010, 09:24 PM	#1 (permalink)
bwidger85 Status: "bi-winning" Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Ohio Gender: Male Age: 27 Posts: 6,167	Why do you think people like to socialize? I realize that this probably isn't the best place to ask but, what excites people about socializing? Why do some people (those without SA) gravitate to be so social all the time? How do you think they view it? What do they get from it? __________________ bi-winning

03-14-2010, 11:06 PM	#4 (permalink)
lyssado707 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Humboldt Co California Gender: Female Age: 26 Posts: 4,858	Well it can be kinda fun if u are totally comfortable with the people and engaging in fun/interesting activities or conversation. But getting comfortable w/SA is crazily hard. It very rarely happens w/me. __________________ In Loving Memory, http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g1...6/P1000595.jpg http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g1...P1000480-1.jpg Marmalade January 1991-February 19, 2007

03-15-2010, 01:08 AM	#5 (permalink)
Dub16 Status: Super Meditator Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Dublin, Ireland Gender: Male Age: 32 Posts: 3,577	Because it makes me feel happy to have friends around me. __________________ Ireland.... rescuing sober people since the dawn of time "with you dub i will never be 100% lesbian" A Kiirby is fer life, not just fer Crimbo

03-15-2010, 07:27 AM	#11 (permalink)
Rufus Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: backstreets, north side, water tower pl. Gender: Male Posts: 3,709	The simple answer to "Why do people like to socialize?" would be that it is a survival instinct to do so, and each time we do so successively, we are rewarded by the release of chemicals in our brains such as dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin. Why some enjoy socializing more than others, well, I suppose that is due to slight variances in the composition of our brains as well as environmental factors. __________________ skulk leader

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03-14-2010, 09:53 PM	#2 (permalink)
Sunshine009 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: California Gender: Female Posts: 3,836	At their best, they love sharing their joy and to care about people directly. They do not think as much as we do about things. When we think within ourselves its like we go into mild trances we dont' come out of with others around, we are still in our heads. That is the plight of introverts yet we have other strengths.We care too but its more selective, we are perceptive maybe a little more, but that doesn't mean we interpet it right what we percieve. It all evens out though

03-15-2010, 03:18 AM	#8 (permalink)
CeilingStarer Status: SAS Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Australia Gender: Male Age: 31 Posts: 3,276	I can see the benefits in socialising, and sometimes crave it. Usually I dread it beforehand, but I've often had a good night out if it's been people I'm comfortable with. It's a chance to get out of your own head, be inspired and just relate to others. Some activities are just a lot more fun if you've got someone else to share it with, and then reflect/debate upon it later... especially art/music/film/philosophical type activities (if the other people are intelligent, introspective types). It can get you thinking from other perspectives, keeping your mind open and fresh. You also often end up doing things you never would alone, discover new cuisines or find out about new authors, directors, musicians that will bring joy to your life. People turn you onto new things which you can exploit in your hermit time. i.e. I got turned onto mature anime whilst socialising one night... nowadays I watch a hell of a lot of it whilst alone. This is still a pretty introverted take on socialising though. I don't know why the super extroverted types enjoy it. They just just seem to want to be around people for the sake of being around people 24/7. I can't fathom that.

03-15-2010, 04:50 AM	#9 (permalink)
BetaBoy90 Status: User Requested Permanent Ban Join Date: Jan 2010 Age: 23 Posts: 4,306	Socializing gives people the ability to exchange emotions with each other and get things off their chests that they can't do by themselves. I hear sharing emotions with some one can be quite beneficial for yourself. Couldn't say for sure if it is true though

03-15-2010, 07:10 AM	#10 (permalink)
Solobikerider Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: South of Milwaukee Gender: Male Posts: 78	Believe it or not even antisocialites have a need for attention and sharing with others...but socialites thrive on it.