What Do You Think Would Make SAS Better? - Page 10 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #181 of 329 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 10:59 AM
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I believe a rule needs to be added that makes it against forum policy to accuse someone of not trying to get better.

Also there needs to be some kind of rules about repetitive probing/accusatory/insinuating questions. Like if a particular user appears to be on a crusade repetitively asking people questions that insinuate they shouldn't be posting here if they're not trying to overcome their anxiety. That is harassment. There is no forum policy here that says you have to be trying to overcome your anxiety or you can't or shouldn't post here. Not as far as I know anyway. It makes people feel unwelcome and sets a hostile, aggressive tone. Many of the people who have SA have to deal with enough unfriendly, aggressive people in real life. They come here to talk about stuff in a setting where they won't be treated that way. I can't really speak for everyone else but if I want to be bullied I don't need to come here to get it.


And just generally. Aggressive and probing questions should always be subject to moderation if a complaint is made. I have long noticed that it almost seems like you're being interrogated when you post here. What kind of a support forum is that? If people want to share very specific private details about themselves they will. To have someone just ask how often you masturbate is a very aggressive and unfriendly thing to have happening on a forum like this one. And this happens all the time. It just goes on and on. It's not like it's a once in a while thing that slips notice. A complete stranger has no business asking you how often you masturbate or insinuating you shouldn't. Especially when that is completely unsolicited.

First of all, if that is going to be discussed at all there should be a specific place you have to go where everyone is there for that. The entire forum should not be peppered with probing masturbation questions and accusations. Ridiculous.

Half the threads in the support section should not be implying that you should have one specific reason for being here or you have no business being here. That's about as unsupportive as it gets. Some people just want to talk to other people who have social anxiety. They should not be getting attacked for being here by people who think they don't have a right to post here. Really. I'm just tired of it. I see it all the time. I have kind of done it too a few times but there really needs to be some kind of intervention when someone is doing it all the time. If there is someone who should not be posting on this forum, it should be up to the mods and the admins to tell them that. Not some random person

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post #182 of 329 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 01:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WillYouStopDave View Post
I believe a rule needs to be added that makes it against forum policy to accuse someone of not trying to get better.

Also there needs to be some kind of rules about repetitive probing/accusatory/insinuating questions. Like if a particular user appears to be on a crusade repetitively asking people questions that insinuate they shouldn't be posting here if they're not trying to overcome their anxiety. That is harassment. There is no forum policy here that says you have to be trying to overcome your anxiety or you can't or shouldn't post here. Not as far as I know anyway. It makes people feel unwelcome and sets a hostile, aggressive tone. Many of the people who have SA have to deal with enough unfriendly, aggressive people in real life. They come here to talk about stuff in a setting where they won't be treated that way. I can't really speak for everyone else but if I want to be bullied I don't need to come here to get it.

...

Half the threads in the support section should not be implying that you should have one specific reason for being here or you have no business being here. That's about as unsupportive as it gets. Some people just want to talk to other people who have social anxiety. They should not be getting attacked for being here by people who think they don't have a right to post here. Really. I'm just tired of it. I see it all the time. I have kind of done it too a few times but there really needs to be some kind of intervention when someone is doing it all the time. If there is someone who should not be posting on this forum, it should be up to the mods and the admins to tell them that. Not some random person


I think some of the above might fall under the "Who really has SA" rule, though I'm not sure. A while back there was a very unsupportive/accusatory post about users on SSI and even though I found it highly offensive, I didn't report it because I didn't think it was breaking the rules; but it ended up deleted later on. So now I don't know. :/ I do know that I've grown very leery of mentioning I'm on SSI or of offering help to other users on it because of such posts. Because I'm on government support and am not in treatment right now, I've sometimes been treated like a lazy parasite who hasn't done a single thing to improve my situation, which is so far from the truth it's ludicrous. (The "hasn't tried" part, at least; I do often feel like a parasite. But it's nobody's place on this forum to say such things about others.)

Even if a user isn't seeking help, that doesn't mean they don't belong here. Maybe this forum is the only resource they have. At the moment, it's the only resource I have.

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post #183 of 329 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 10:04 AM
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Not sure if its been mentioned before there's too many sub-forums here.
You get lost. I don't know what to post where. Why so many?
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post #184 of 329 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 01:47 PM
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One thing I think would make SAS better is if there was a way that you could meet people in your local area without having to post to the whole world your local area. I know some people with SAS aren't good at meeting people but I'm not scared of meeting new people - the biggest problem is distance. Some people on here say they wouldn't need anybody from the SAS - I would. I just don't want to post I'm so-and-so from so-and-so but if there was a way to match users with similar interest in the same area I think that would be helpful.

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post #185 of 329 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 10:33 PM
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Originally Posted by Xenacat View Post
One thing I think would make SAS better is if there was a way that you could meet people in your local area without having to post to the whole world your local area. I know some people with SAS aren't good at meeting people but I'm not scared of meeting new people - the biggest problem is distance. Some people on here say they wouldn't need anybody from the SAS - I would. I just don't want to post I'm so-and-so from so-and-so but if there was a way to match users with similar interest in the same area I think that would be helpful.
That's a good idea, I wonder how it would work.

Maybe you could give your location in your profile (just the town or city would probably be safer just in case the site got hacked), how far you're willing to travel (not everyone drives or can afford to travel etc.) and whether you would be interested in meeting others. If so it could match up people with overlapping geographical areas and perhaps send messages to those people providing the opportunity to chat/message anonymously (there's no guarantee you'd want to actually meet them and it would make it less awkward).

It would still introduce more rejection onto a site with many people who might not be that great at handling it but you can't remove risk completely can you? Plus, it would increase the would be the opportunity to make some real life friends or maybe even more (which by the looks of things some people have managed to do anyway ).

Were you thinking of something like that?

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post #186 of 329 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 07:26 AM
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Originally Posted by LonelyLurker View Post
That's a good idea, I wonder how it would work.

Maybe you could give your location in your profile (just the town or city would probably be safer just in case the site got hacked), how far you're willing to travel (not everyone drives or can afford to travel etc.) and whether you would be interested in meeting others. If so it could match up people with overlapping geographical areas and perhaps send messages to those people providing the opportunity to chat/message anonymously (there's no guarantee you'd want to actually meet them and it would make it less awkward).

It would still introduce more rejection onto a site with many people who might not be that great at handling it but you can't remove risk completely can you? Plus, it would increase the would be the opportunity to make some real life friends or maybe even more (which by the looks of things some people have managed to do anyway ).

Were you thinking of something like that?
Nah, I was thinking something more high tech.. Like a place if you want to meet friends you sign up and privately you see people in your area from SAS. I'll leave the hard stuff to the techies.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results-Albert Einstein
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post #187 of 329 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 07:44 AM
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Originally Posted by Xenacat View Post
Nah, I was thinking something more high tech.. Like a place if you want to meet friends you sign up and privately you see people in your area from SAS. I'll leave the hard stuff to the techies.
Like a Tinder type of thing for friendship on SAS?

Only problem there is it could lead to people you wouldn't want to meet being able to find you.

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post #188 of 329 (permalink) Old 03-20-2017, 04:19 AM
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Something very annoying actually is the fact that you have to enter poll categories after posting a thread. For short polls this may not matter too much but for long ones it's a pain and people often post before the poll appears and then just don't vote.


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post #189 of 329 (permalink) Old 03-20-2017, 11:01 AM
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Not sure if its been mentioned before there's too many sub-forums here.
You get lost. I don't know what to post where. Why so many?
The layout may be a bit confusing for new members, and we do get some threads posted in the wrong area, which the mods will move if they're aware of it (which probably doesn't alway happen). But I should think most regular posters will get used to it. That's just the way this site is designed, I'm sure there are other sites with even more subforums.

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post #190 of 329 (permalink) Old 03-20-2017, 11:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread View Post
Something very annoying actually is the fact that you have to enter poll categories after posting a thread. For short polls this may not matter too much but for long ones it's a pain and people often post before the poll appears and then just don't vote.
Yes. Very annoying!

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post #191 of 329 (permalink) Old 03-20-2017, 11:08 AM
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Something very annoying actually is the fact that you have to enter poll categories after posting a thread. For short polls this may not matter too much but for long ones it's a pain and people often post before the poll appears and then just don't vote.
Interesting, I've not thought or heard of that one before but see what you mean. I very much doubt that could be changed, it's just the way vBulletin is designed.

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post #192 of 329 (permalink) Old 03-20-2017, 12:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread View Post
Something very annoying actually is the fact that you have to enter poll categories after posting a thread. For short polls this may not matter too much but for long ones it's a pain and people often post before the poll appears and then just don't vote.
I once typed the 20 options on a Notepad, made the thread, and then copy/pasted.

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post #193 of 329 (permalink) Old 03-20-2017, 12:11 PM
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Interesting, I've not thought or heard of that one before but see what you mean. I very much doubt that could be changed, it's just the way vBulletin is designed.
That sucks, but I think you're right.

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I once typed the 20 options on a Notepad, made the thread, and then copy/pasted.
Yeah that's what I usually do, but sometimes people still post too quickly.


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post #194 of 329 (permalink) Old 03-20-2017, 12:24 PM
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I notice that many people will just not vote in the poll, period. Annoying.
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post #195 of 329 (permalink) Old 03-20-2017, 07:30 PM
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post #196 of 329 (permalink) Old 03-20-2017, 09:58 PM
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I notice that many people will just not vote in the poll, period. Annoying.
I'm one of those people.

Persephone's is the first one I've bothered to vote in (at least as far as I can remember), from now on if I think it's worth responding to I'll vote too.

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post #197 of 329 (permalink) Old 03-20-2017, 10:18 PM
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Yeah, we should welcome them back.

That a truly insane night but what I remember it went on for days. There was no moderation on this site, at all. Zero. None.

It really was like that movie "The Purge".
That notorious thread did not go on for days (hyperbole), just a few hours one night. All the then mods just happened to be in bed or otherwise occupied (including me, I think) but quickly afterwards the main offenders were all very severely dealt with.

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post #198 of 329 (permalink) Old 03-20-2017, 10:28 PM
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That notorious thread did not go on for days (hyperbole), just a few hours one night. All the then mods just happened to be in bed or otherwise occupied (including me, I think) but quickly afterwards the main offenders were all very severely dealt with.
Lmao, we must be talking about two different threads. The porn thread I'm thinking about most definitely DID go on for days. And it was during a period of time when there was a lot of turnover wrt the mods, and if I'm not mistaken, it was before your join date. It didn't go on for hours, it went on for days.

Just because it didn't happen while you were moderating this site doesn't mean it didn't happen

And tbh, in my opinion, it's quite pathetic to say that the pornographic thread you're thinking of went on "for hours" and then they "were quickly dealth with". I find that to be just a hilarious statement at the same time, too. And also....not surprising at all to me, in a way though.
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post #199 of 329 (permalink) Old 03-22-2017, 05:16 AM
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While looking for all of our fallen brothers and sisters I found an archive of it online, it only goes for 11 pages, but I'm pretty sure the original went on for many more than that. I remember eventually having to go to bed, we lost a few good people that night. (Not hating on the mods here)
No, the original does only have 11 pages.

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Lmao, we must be talking about two different threads. The porn thread I'm thinking about most definitely DID go on for days. And it was during a period of time when there was a lot of turnover wrt the mods, and if I'm not mistaken, it was before your join date. It didn't go on for hours, it went on for days.

Just because it didn't happen while you were moderating this site doesn't mean it didn't happen

And tbh, in my opinion, it's quite pathetic to say that the pornographic thread you're thinking of went on "for hours" and then they "were quickly dealth with". I find that to be just a hilarious statement at the same time, too. And also....not surprising at all to me, in a way though.
Sorry but you must be rememembering it wrongly, assuming we are talking about the same thread! It happened not long after I started moderating, in early summer 2015. And it looks like the porn thread went on for just under four hours, all the staff were indeed absent for that period. But when it was discovered, TDK in particular was really annoyed. Several previously regular posters were immediately permabanned, and the guidelines were altered to include encouraging others to post porn as well.

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post #200 of 329 (permalink) Old 03-22-2017, 06:55 AM
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No, the original does only have 11 pages.
My memory is so fickle, it seemed like it went on forever. Regardless, it was nearly two years ago, it is rare thing to behold and you guys do a good job at moderating the board - especially seeing that it is entirely voluntary. I hope I have not stirred any ill feelings.

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