If you could change how you look

[IllusionalFate]

Originally Posted by TheDaffodil

I don't think it's wrong to know what you like. I don't think that's superficial. It's not as if that's the only thing they would like in a person. I'm sure they have other things they'd like, too, that aren't physical.

Well yeah, but ruling out dating someone because they don't measure up to a certain length seems kind of foolish. I think it's normal for people to be superficial to a certain degree, but I never understood judging someone based on how much surface area their skin covers or some other stupid reason like that. It's just physical matter, the person behind the physical matter determines the beauty for me. I dunno, maybe I'm unique and was born with the ability to judge a person based solely on who they are rather than how their cells are arranged.

I'm 5'3" and most girls are like "ew" to that. It doesn't offend me, just makes me feel bad they live such a fake life.

[TheDaffodil]

Originally Posted by IllusionalFate

Well yeah, but ruling out dating someone because they don't measure up to a certain length seems kind of foolish. I think it's normal for people to be superficial to a certain degree, but I never understood judging someone based on how much surface area their skin covers or some other stupid reason like that. It's just physical matter, the person behind the physical matter determines the beauty for me. I dunno, maybe I'm unique and was born with the ability to judge a person based solely on who they are rather than how their cells are arranged.

I'm 5'3" and most girls are like "ew" to that. It doesn't offend me, just makes me feel bad they live such a fake life.

You aren't physically attracted to people?
I personally think there's a lot to be admired about the human body. It's beautiful and disgusting at the same time...kinda magnificent. So I don't think people should feel bad for admitting to themselves that they are attracted to some things and not attracted to others. Sure, people make judgments...but I don't think it automatically means they're living a fake life. To assume that "most girls" are before you even really know "most girls" isn't fair, but I guess if you don't feel like you're treated fairly it's easy to think that way. I don't know. I'm just saying the girls here shouldn't feel bad for liking tall guys if that's what they honestly like.

[illlaymedown]

Originally Posted by IllusionalFate

Lol, even on an SA site you'll still find that a psychological disorder doesn't change a person's superficiality. I don't say this just because I'm 5'3", I say it because if a guy "has to be" taller than you then your priorities are waay out of whack.

I have a right to my preferences as any other person does...that's not ONLY what I look for but yeah, I prefer guys who are taller than me If it bothers you, date a chick that doesn't care about height! If attraction didn't matter in dating then you could just date anybody, in fact you wouldn't need to date...without attraction, dating would be more like friends. I have guy friends that I'm not attracted to. That's the difference between dating and friends. If I have to be physical as well as emotional and what ever else with a guy, I prefer him to fit with me in those areas. And guys are usually far more concerned with looks thans girls btw.....It's so nice how almost every single opinion someone has on this site seems to turn into some judge fest btw

[Haydsmom2007]

I would give myself a little bit bigger boobs (like a full B cup.. I barely fill out an A)and maybe 2 inches shorter. Although I like being tall... I'm 5'10, so I think 5'8 or 5'7 would be a good height.

[Haydsmom2007]

Originally Posted by IllusionalFate

Well yeah, but ruling out dating someone because they don't measure up to a certain length seems kind of foolish. I think it's normal for people to be superficial to a certain degree, but I never understood judging someone based on how much surface area their skin covers or some other stupid reason like that. It's just physical matter, the person behind the physical matter determines the beauty for me. I dunno, maybe I'm unique and was born with the ability to judge a person based solely on who they are rather than how their cells are arranged.

I'm 5'3" and most girls are like "ew" to that. It doesn't offend me, just makes me feel bad they live such a fake life.

I'm 5'10, I've dated a couple guys that were shorter than me. One who was just a couple inches shorter, and one who was a LOT shorter. A lot of people aren't bothered by that, but it made me feel really awkward, and in turn, caused me to not be comfortable dating them, caused me to be not so attracted to them... so why would I keep dating them if I wasn't going to be happy? Trust me, I've done my share of dating someone who I wasn't attracted to hoping that I would magically become attracted to them. It doesn't work.

There's nothing wrong with having preferences. I can write out my ideal man but it doesn't mean I wouldn't date some guy who didn't fit the description.

[IllusionalFate]

Originally Posted by TheDaffodil

You aren't physically attracted to people?
I personally think there's a lot to be admired about the human body. It's beautiful and disgusting at the same time...kinda magnificent. So I don't think people should feel bad for admitting to themselves that they are attracted to some things and not attracted to others. Sure, people make judgments...but I don't think it automatically means they're living a fake life.

I see good-looking women all the time and it doesn't make me interested in them. If I'm attracted to a girl because of their personality, I see them as physically attractive as well.

That's beside the point though. illaymedown clearly stated she won't date guys shorter than her, which she obviously has a right to that preference. Doesn't matter who the guy is, if the inches don't add up to 66 it's a no-go. I'm not blaming her or saying it's cruel, but it's superficial and you can't deny that.

To assume that "most girls" are before you even really know "most girls" isn't fair, but I guess if you don't feel like you're treated fairly it's easy to think that way. I don't know. I'm just saying the girls here shouldn't feel bad for liking tall guys if that's what they honestly like.

Not treated fairly? Uhm no. Say I get rejected solely because of my height for instance - it's fair that I am spared a relationship with such a shallow person. And yeah, most girls consider guys who are 5'3" unattractive. Not that I care, there's enough women out there that don't reject guys based off height... I'd rather date them anyway.

Originally Posted by illlaymedown

If attraction didn't matter in dating then you could just date anybody, in fact you wouldn't need to date...without attraction, dating would be more like friends.

Who's disputing this?

That's the difference between dating and friends. If I have to be physical as well as emotional and what ever else with a guy, I prefer him to fit with me in those areas.

So being emotionally attracted to someone doesn't in turn make you see them as physically attractive? Whatever floats your boat, but that means the relationship is based at least partially on looks. Sounds depressing to me, but I guess we all have our own preferences.

And guys are usually far more concerned with looks thans girls btw.....

Yeah, I don't understand or relate to those guys either. Thanks for bringing up something completely irrelevant though, apparently you feel the need to justify yourself or something.

[illlaymedown]

I'm not apologizing for having a preference of what I like....What's really pissing me off is the labeling, that just because I'm physically attracted to a guy who's taller than me, I'm automatically superficial/fake....that's a load of bull! Should I start a relationship with someone I'm not attracted to just to feel uncomfortable and have it fall apart because of that? Also the first thing you come in contact with is the physical persona of the person, so that's what initially draws you in. Sometimes other aspects of the person do cause me to be more attracted to the person than I was at first, my ex was like that, but I still wanna be physically attracted to him to some degree. I have to be physical with him, so why not...Your physical body is a part of the relationship too. As far as why I like guys to be taller than me, it's the feeling I get(it's not like I said I have to be with a model or Johnny Depp or such), I like the feeling that the guy is "bigger" than me and it makes me feel more secure with him...I can't help how I feel. It's also not like I said the guy only has to be taller than me and I'll date him...I care about other things too. But yeah, your body is part of the relationship, so yeah it matters to some extent. Just as there are personality/emotional/spiritual things that will completely turn me off, so are there physical things. All those things add up in a relationship.

[zomgz]

something like the cruise =]

[whatsername75]

Originally Posted by nothing to fear

but if i could chose, i'd like to have more of an 'audrey tautou-esque' look

Same here lol


***
If I had the chance to change one thing about myself then it would probably be my freckles. I always wanted to be freckle free.

[nothing to fear]

i wish my freckles were noticeable again. i liked them.

[Iced Soul]

I'd like to still look like me, but a little taller, maybe 6 foot. Definitely slimmer. Maybe longer hair. Just be more beautiful overall, I guess.

[inna sense]

id pick 2pac...his face...and will smith's body

[Hadron]

Originally Posted by Hadron

I don't mind the way I look right now, so I wouldn't change anything.

On a second thought, I'd probably prefer to be slightly shorter... say... 6'0. Not because I don't like being tall, but because I hate attention. And being tall makes me stand out a tad...

[odd_one_out]

I am not attracted by "good" looks; just not wired that way. For some reason, though, I sometimes experience self-consciousness over my own. (Oh yeah, it's because it's a primary criterion upon which people are judged.)

[TheDaffodil]

Originally Posted by IllusionalFate

I see good-looking women all the time and it doesn't make me interested in them. If I'm attracted to a girl because of their personality, I see them as physically attractive as well.

That's beside the point though. illaymedown clearly stated she won't date guys shorter than her, which she obviously has a right to that preference. Doesn't matter who the guy is, if the inches don't add up to 66 it's a no-go. I'm not blaming her or saying it's cruel, but it's superficial and you can't deny that.

Not treated fairly? Uhm no. Say I get rejected solely because of my height for instance - it's fair that I am spared a relationship with such a shallow person. And yeah, most girls consider guys who are 5'3" unattractive. Not that I care, there's enough women out there that don't reject guys based off height... I'd rather date them anyway.

I don't think most girls think 5'3" is unattractive. Maybe where you live but where I live? There are a good number of short guys out there, and girls do get together with them. I can think of a few couples right now so...I think the generalization is wrong.

I can deny it, because I don't think it's superficial. Is a man who prefers to date "overweight" women superficial? No. Is a woman who prefers to date masculine women superficial? No. Is a woman who prefers to date men with long hair superficial? No. Everyone knows what they like. Some people have one taste. Some people have multiple tastes. It's totally up to the individual. It's superficial to date someone solely on their looks but she didn't say that was the case for her. She didn't say she wanted to date all tall men or that nothing else mattered to her.

I'm actually very surprised that you have no initial attractive to people - zero. I imagine that'd make a girl feel kinda bad, that you didn't think she was beautiful before you got to know her. Yeah, it's great that you can value her personality but sometimes a girl just wants to feel beautiful, even if you don't know everything about her. That for sure isn't superficial.

[odd_one_out]

In my case, the sight of a person is stunningly beautiful once I already love them, not before.

[IllusionalFate]

Originally Posted by illlaymedown

I'm not apologizing for having a preference of what I like....What's really pissing me off is the labeling, that just because I'm physically attracted to a guy who's taller than me, I'm automatically superficial/fake....that's a load of bull! Should I start a relationship with someone I'm not attracted to just to feel uncomfortable and have it fall apart because of that? Also the first thing you come in contact with is the physical persona of the person, so that's what initially draws you in. Sometimes other aspects of the person do cause me to be more attracted to the person than I was at first, my ex was like that, but I still wanna be physically attracted to him to some degree. I have to be physical with him, so why not...Your physical body is a part of the relationship too. As far as why I like guys to be taller than me, it's the feeling I get(it's not like I said I have to be with a model or Johnny Depp or such), I like the feeling that the guy is "bigger" than me and it makes me feel more secure with him...I can't help how I feel. It's also not like I said the guy only has to be taller than me and I'll date him...I care about other things too. But yeah, your body is part of the relationship, so yeah it matters to some extent. Just as there are personality/emotional/spiritual things that will completely turn me off, so are there physical things. All those things add up in a relationship.

Originally Posted by TheDaffodil

I don't think most girls think 5'3" is unattractive. Maybe where you live but where I live? There are a good number of short guys out there, and girls do get together with them. I can think of a few couples right now so...I think the generalization is wrong.

I can deny it, because I don't think it's superficial. Is a man who prefers to date "overweight" women superficial? No. Is a woman who prefers to date masculine women superficial? No. Is a woman who prefers to date men with long hair superficial? No. Everyone knows what they like. Some people have one taste. Some people have multiple tastes. It's totally up to the individual. It's superficial to date someone solely on their looks but she didn't say that was the case for her. She didn't say she wanted to date all tall men or that nothing else mattered to her.

You're both missing my point completely. I originally replied to this:
"Height....he has to be taller than me...I'm 5'6""

This isn't a preference, it's a requirement. It's essentially saying "No matter how much I'm attracted to a guy, if he is below 5'6" I for sure wouldn't date him."

Just saying it's a bit ridiculous to have a physical preference so strong that you won't even take personality traits into consideration unless the guy passes the "stature test".

I'm actually very surprised that you have no initial attractive to people - zero. I imagine that'd make a girl feel kinda bad, that you didn't think she was beautiful before you got to know her. Yeah, it's great that you can value her personality but sometimes a girl just wants to feel beautiful, even if you don't know everything about her. That for sure isn't superficial.

I have to know at least something about her. A comment she made, the way she talks, or just a simple mannerism can spark my interest. But if I see a picture of a model in a magazine, or an actress in a movie, I don't feel any initial attraction from that.

[scooby]

I'd love to be taller. I'm fairly short.

[Perfectionist]

I'd just be thinner. That's all. I'm cool with myself otherwise.

[illlaymedown]

No it's not essentially saying that "no matter how attracted I am to a guy, if he's below 5'6", I for sure wouldn't date him", it's saying I'm NOT attracted to guys shorter than me. I'm also not attracted/won't date a guy who isn't a Christian, guess that makes me judgemental or guys who drink alcohol/smoke & there are other physical things I'm not attracted to..maybe I know that these things, even in the realm of attraction(physicality)/emotion/spirituality will cause me to feel very awkward& mess with the relationship. If I know there's something that bothers me, why start a relationship. It's not even about looks, it's about how I feel with them& I DO NOT feel comfortable. Maybe the people who don't admit to themselves that they have a certain attraction can be labeled as "fake" too. It's false& unfair just to say because I do have a particular attraction& can admit it, I'm being fake. I don't believe that people who can see can NOT have a particular attraction, or something they just don't feel comfortable with, but I didn't call you fake for saying that you're that way If your whole judgement is based on 1 thing I dislike, then it is seriously skewed. It's not like I said all people I meet have to be taller than me or I'll have nothing to do with them or even that every guy I will like only has to be taller than me for me to be with him. If I only based my potential partner on what he looks like, then I'd agree, that's superficial..but that's not what I said. I have many personality, spiritual, emotional "requirements/preferences" whatever the hell you wanna call them as well.& since when does being honest constitute being fake? Other than your height I don't see why you had to say anything.
Sorry moxosis for the thread derail.I'm done talking about this. Won't be replying to anything else any1 has to say about me in order to make themselves feel like they're "better" or whatever. & if it makes your day any brighter my dad says no man will ever want to marry me anyway, so you have nothing to worry about!