False hope vs. No hope

[Still Waters]

I had false hope for a very long time - It's amazing how long you can lie to yourself and yet be in complete denial about it.- Now I feel like I have little to no hope. I miss the lies. Which do you think is worse - false hope/fantasy land or no hope/apathy??

[Mooncalf]

No hope, definitely.

[Mr. Frostie]

I posted this in another thread not that long ago, but studies have shown that depressed people have a more realistic self-image are more realistically aware of their shortcomings than the non-depressed. I think I'd prefer to be delusionally happy than hopeless and depressed if there's no middle ground between the two extremes.

[Still Waters]

I would go back to that false hope in a flash-I just don't know how to get it back except through alcohol or a head injury.

[shyvr6]

If I was stuck in a life boat in the middle of the ocean I think I would rather have false hope rather than no hope. It's something to keep me going because my rescue could be at any time. I guess that's how I see my life.

[Still Waters]

shyvr6 - I like that comparison, there comes a point though when you quit believing there's going to be a rescure. Hope has been on my mind a lot lately.

[DepecheEyes]

Originally Posted by Mr. Frostie

I posted this in another thread not that long ago, but studies have shown that depressed people have a more realistic self-image are more realistically aware of their shortcomings than the non-depressed. I think I'd prefer to be delusionally happy than hopeless and depressed if there's no middle ground between the two extremes.

It doesn't surprise me that the depressed are more aware of their short-comings than others. I suspect they focus more on their short-comings than on their strengths and when they do briefly look at the latter, they would minimize their importance. In fact, they also might magnify the importance of their flaws as well.

[shyvr6]

I don't think I would stop believing until I died. I would keep thinking of all those shows where the person was on his last leg about to die, and then he gets rescued.

[Still Waters]

shyvr6- I really admire your attitude-I hope it never changes-I think you'll have a good future ahead of you!

[DepecheEyes]

Originally Posted by Still Waters

shyvr6 - I like that comparison, there comes a point though when you quit believing there's going to be a rescure. Hope has been on my mind a lot lately.

If you need some hope then perhaps it might be best to search for several sources on treating social anxiety disorder. It sounds to me you have made an honest effort to treat your SAD but of course, have had a lot of roadblocks. I used to rely on just one or two sources but haven't made much improvement. It was only when I looked towards several sources and try to combine them that's when I started to improve.

Here are some sources I would recommend.

1) The Feeling Good Handbook by David D Burns, MD

2) Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness by Gillian Butler

3) http://www.brainhe.com/students/type...alAnxiety.html

4) http://books.google.com/books?id=Cob...esult&resnum=6

[Still Waters]

DepecheEyes-Thanks,I appreciate any suggestions- I always seem to have a problem with self help books-I get enthusiastic while reading the books-but I can't maintain that level of enthusiasm-it fades fast.

[DepecheEyes]

Originally Posted by Still Waters

DepecheEyes-Thanks,I appreciate any suggestions- I always seem to have a problem with self help books-I get enthusiastic while reading the books-but I can't maintain that level of enthusiasm-it fades fast.

Do you tend to read too much in one setting? Maybe if you break it down to around 15 minutes of reading and then relax, it could be easier for you. You could do 4 sets of 15 minutes of reading a day instead of reading the whole chapter in one set.

Btw, with The Feeling Good Handbook you would only have to read one chapter on social anxiety and that's it. Much of the book is on other things that may or may not be relevant to you.

[Still Waters]

I appreciate the help-I will try The Feel Good Handbook-it could'nt hurt.

[ericj]

The worst part is the transition stage when you fully realize how much you had been deceiving yourself for so long. No hope is the worse of the two, but the transition is harder on you than being in either state. The comparison at the no hope point is worse than the comparison at the hope point, which is what makes it worse.

Eventually you accept that there is no hope. The problem is that you often must witness others that are or were so much more successful with people, and it hurts to dream and know that you will never even have a trace of what they do. An even sadder thing is when you encounter someone that is unhappy with their life, yet you would do almost anything to have their "unhappiness".

[Prodigal Son]

No such thing as false hope and it is an oxymoron.

[Still Waters]

I think somehow,you have to settle for a lesser,smaller life than others. I just can't figure out how to be truely satisfied with that-not longing always for more.- It's existing,not really living.- In the end it's the absence of hope that kills you.

[Mr. Frostie]

Originally Posted by Still Waters

I would go back to that false hope in a flash-I just don't know how to get it back except through alcohol or a head injury.

I wish I could change too, but I'm leery any time I feel a glimmer of hope. I don't know if you can turn back once you've had your hope severely crushed.

[Freedom2010]

There is always hope. There is no such thing as false hope. When you are looking at the future, you can't predict whether something will come true or not.

It is not the best idea to hope for something, and then take no action at all to solve the problem; however, if you are taking action to solve the problem, there is no such thing as false hope. Only hope.

[Mooncalf]

Originally Posted by Still Waters

I had false hope for a very long time - It's amazing how long you can lie to yourself and yet be in complete denial about it.- Now I feel like I have little to no hope. I miss the lies. Which do you think is worse - false hope/fantasy land or no hope/apathy??

Why do you feel hopeless now? Did something happen?

[mountain5]

Originally Posted by Still Waters

I think somehow,you have to settle for a lesser,smaller life than others. I just can't figure out how to be truely satisfied with that-not longing always for more.- It's existing,not really living.- In the end it's the absence of hope that kills you.

I understand where you're coming from. It's frustrating because I can be extremely subborn and ambitious at times -- you would think this is a good weapon against SAD, but I'm always thinking about how I fail to live up to my potential. It's the perfectionist streak taking over.