Social Anxiety Support

Still Waters · 10-20-2009, 09:55 AM

I had an online friend I "met" about a year ago. Over time we both revealed quite a bit about ourselves. The friendship meant a great deal to me as this was the first friend I'd had in years. A couple of months ago I was pretty much told he didn't want to be my friend anymore. This was done in a very polite,mature way. Try as I might I could never get to the real reason(s) for this. -Just very vague,greyish answers. I really felt that I deserved something specific,but clearly that's not going to happen. Really miss him and just wish I wasn't so needy - wish I had lots of replacements in the friendship department. Makes me skeptical of investing in others. How do you get past this?

sanspants08 · 10-20-2009, 12:49 PM

Eh, I've found that the only real replacement for friends is other friends, although I did try really hard, for a while, to do without them. In the meantime, maybe you can get by through socializing with some acquaintances and trying to dig into your hobbies. If you can find someone with whom you share an interest, maybe that will open an dialogue for you later on.

hyacinth_dragon · 10-20-2009, 05:25 PM

I know what thats like. I have made and lost a lot of online friends. Mostly they just dissappear. I have had a penpal of 3 years just stop writing out of the blue with no explanation in the past, so its nothing unusual. I'm pretty jaded about the whole "online friend" thing so I don't seek out communication with people I don't know offline usually anymore & I barely invest anything in what online associations remain.

Its good that at least the guy told you though.

Neptunus · 10-20-2009, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Still Waters

I had an online friend I "met" about a year ago. Over time we both revealed quite a bit about ourselves. The friendship meant a great deal to me as this was the first friend I'd had in years. A couple of months ago I was pretty much told he didn't want to be my friend anymore. This was done in a very polite,mature way. Try as I might I could never get to the real reason(s) for this. -Just very vague,greyish answers. I really felt that I deserved something specific,but clearly that's not going to happen. Really miss him and just wish I wasn't so needy - wish I had lots of replacements in the friendship department. Makes me skeptical of investing in others. How do you get past this?

Holy moly, I'm going through the exact same thing right now! Wish I could give you some advice, but, alas, I feel the same way. Heh, wish I wasn't so sensitive... and, well, "needy."

10-20-2009, 09:55 AM	#1 (permalink)
Still Waters Status: Lost And Unaccounted For Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Stuck in the Lost and Found Gender: Female Posts: 668	Do you have trouble letting go,when someone no longer wants you as a friend? I had an online friend I "met" about a year ago. Over time we both revealed quite a bit about ourselves. The friendship meant a great deal to me as this was the first friend I'd had in years. A couple of months ago I was pretty much told he didn't want to be my friend anymore. This was done in a very polite,mature way. Try as I might I could never get to the real reason(s) for this. -Just very vague,greyish answers. I really felt that I deserved something specific,but clearly that's not going to happen. Really miss him and just wish I wasn't so needy - wish I had lots of replacements in the friendship department. Makes me skeptical of investing in others. How do you get past this? __________________ I knew a man who lived in fear It was huge,it was angry,it was drawing near Behind his house,a secret place Was the shadow of the demon he could never face. He tells the world that it's sleeping But as the night came 'round I heard it's lonely sound It wasn't roaring,it was weeping. - Weeping - Josh Groban

10-20-2009, 12:49 PM	#2 (permalink)
sanspants08 Status: Has Ramen Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: York, PA/Gettysburg, PA Gender: Male Posts: 857	Eh, I've found that the only real replacement for friends is other friends, although I did try really hard, for a while, to do without them. In the meantime, maybe you can get by through socializing with some acquaintances and trying to dig into your hobbies. If you can find someone with whom you share an interest, maybe that will open an dialogue for you later on.

10-20-2009, 05:25 PM	#3 (permalink)
hyacinth_dragon Status: SAS Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: USA Gender: Female Age: 26 Posts: 740	I know what thats like. I have made and lost a lot of online friends. Mostly they just dissappear. I have had a penpal of 3 years just stop writing out of the blue with no explanation in the past, so its nothing unusual. I'm pretty jaded about the whole "online friend" thing so I don't seek out communication with people I don't know offline usually anymore & I barely invest anything in what online associations remain. Its good that at least the guy told you though.