Hello everyone, my names JJ and the following is a brief summary of what I've encountered throughout my life that has made me from a happy outgoing kid into a melancholic with a social anxiety disorder. (I apologize if this is the wrong thread or if it's too long).
Occasionally I unintentionally rub people the wrong way and they end up insulting me in font of others. Typically as they are doing this they'll randomly spot an acquaintance nearby and act really chummy with them as if it's their BFF.
One instance was when I stayed after school for tutoring as I wasn't doing so well and whenever I'd ask a question the teacher would yell out "what is it?!" "tell me the equation!" "you should know that!" "You're supposed to use this formula!" (Mind you I only asked for her help a few times).
Than whenever other students asked for help she would respond in a soft gentle voice "hi sweetie, here is how you do it" "yes, sweetheart..do you need anymore help with the next equation?" "ok honey, here I'll show you how" (she even gave one of the female students a hug).
Similar things occurred with a friend of a friend / acquaintance of a friend, an aunt & uncle and even a manager & co-worker.
I've been nice to most of them & other times maybe a bit stand-offish (as I am with most people I don't really know)..They deliberately poke jabs at me trying to get me upset yet I don't react because I see it as being weak or stooping to an immature level..
The one time I did react an acquaintance of a friend started a little food fight with me in the school cafeteria. He apparently grew up with my friends yet wasn't close to them and since I was rather new to the crowd and got along with mostly everyone he must've been jealous and retaliated? After that he tried to win appraisal from my friends and I ended up just telling them I'll see them around and just hung out with my main friend the rest of the year..
The most recent one was the time I hung out my friend who recently "came out of the closet". I was the first to know and he invited me to came up town to see him. He introduced me to his boyfriend and I was like really happy to meet him and said "hey there! what whats up?! My buddy tells me you need help moving in" he kind of was like "yeah...hi and..sure" the whole time I was there he treated me like crap and would be all kissy-face with my friend..it was weird.
Than with the co-worker and the manager...that was something else
..having this happen multiple times in different environments (school, work, church, around friends/family) it's finally caught up to me and I've become a recluse..
I get anxiety when my parents have company over, when the phone rings, when I go out in public especially when I have to interact with people..my stomach cringes, my tongue becomes dry, heart races, face becomes flushed..voice becomes shaky..It's like I can't deal and it drives me nuts
There has been a few times I had tried to over come this, trying to befriend a friend of a friend and they for whatever reason are put-off and act annoyed or disinterested..and when my friend walks in the room they suddenly are like super excited to see them and are relieved that they don't have to get to know me..
Sooo anyways ...I'm wondering if any of you have experienced similar situations? Thanks.
Occasionally I unintentionally rub people the wrong way and they end up insulting me in font of others. Typically as they are doing this they'll randomly spot an acquaintance nearby and act really chummy with them as if it's their BFF.
One instance was when I stayed after school for tutoring as I wasn't doing so well and whenever I'd ask a question the teacher would yell out "what is it?!" "tell me the equation!" "you should know that!" "You're supposed to use this formula!" (Mind you I only asked for her help a few times).
Than whenever other students asked for help she would respond in a soft gentle voice "hi sweetie, here is how you do it" "yes, sweetheart..do you need anymore help with the next equation?" "ok honey, here I'll show you how" (she even gave one of the female students a hug).
Similar things occurred with a friend of a friend / acquaintance of a friend, an aunt & uncle and even a manager & co-worker.
I've been nice to most of them & other times maybe a bit stand-offish (as I am with most people I don't really know)..They deliberately poke jabs at me trying to get me upset yet I don't react because I see it as being weak or stooping to an immature level..
The one time I did react an acquaintance of a friend started a little food fight with me in the school cafeteria. He apparently grew up with my friends yet wasn't close to them and since I was rather new to the crowd and got along with mostly everyone he must've been jealous and retaliated? After that he tried to win appraisal from my friends and I ended up just telling them I'll see them around and just hung out with my main friend the rest of the year..
The most recent one was the time I hung out my friend who recently "came out of the closet". I was the first to know and he invited me to came up town to see him. He introduced me to his boyfriend and I was like really happy to meet him and said "hey there! what whats up?! My buddy tells me you need help moving in" he kind of was like "yeah...hi and..sure" the whole time I was there he treated me like crap and would be all kissy-face with my friend..it was weird.
Than with the co-worker and the manager...that was something else
I get anxiety when my parents have company over, when the phone rings, when I go out in public especially when I have to interact with people..my stomach cringes, my tongue becomes dry, heart races, face becomes flushed..voice becomes shaky..It's like I can't deal and it drives me nuts
There has been a few times I had tried to over come this, trying to befriend a friend of a friend and they for whatever reason are put-off and act annoyed or disinterested..and when my friend walks in the room they suddenly are like super excited to see them and are relieved that they don't have to get to know me..
Sooo anyways ...I'm wondering if any of you have experienced similar situations? Thanks.