Social Anxiety Support Forum banner

Ask AllTheSame Anything. Anything. I'll Be Brutally Honest.

4K views 91 replies 26 participants last post by  AllTheSame 
#1 ·
I won't be responsible, however, if my answers freak you out, make you wish you had never asked, or make you want to quit SAS forever just for having known me. Meh. Otherwise. Ask away :grin2:
 
#2 ·
Don't be chickens....
 
#3 ·
however, if my answers freak you out, make you wish you had never asked


First question. Ever thought about raping a man? EVER. Even if it passed the mind for 0.2 seconds.
 
#8 ·
I first became a Rockets fan when I was in Little League lol. I think I was 12? I remember Hakeem Olajuwon. I remember Phi Slama Jama and Guy Lewis, and Clyde Drexler. If memory serves (this was thirty years ago) we were in the dugout playing a baseball game, my Little League team, and my dad was coaching and they had the final four on the radio and we were all listening to it.

They completely reinvented how the game was played imo. They had a completely different style of play they brought to the game.

I've seen them play a few times, was fortunate enough to get tickets about a dozen or so times and it was amazing to watch them, especially back in the 90's when they had their back to backs. I miss those days. I really, really miss Olajuwon lol.
 
#9 ·
5'11"
 
#11 ·
Heh.

Uhm. Yeah. Let me think.....

Heh.

I think I've been down that route. I think I've tried that before. I think I've btdt. I think I'd rather lose my left nut than do that again.
 
#12 ·
bunch of shicken chit's that won't ask me any thing. OK.
 
#13 ·
what is your height? Come on? Seriously?
 
#15 ·
No. I'm attracted to women, without a doubt. I knew when I was I think five years old that I liked girls. I didn't know what to do with them yet lol, but I knew they looked a whole lot better with no clothes on. I was a little pervert I guess lol.

I had a bisexual friend in hs and college, and he made a move on me one night after a bunch of us had gotten really hammered. I just got up and walked away from him lol. I think I was too drunk to get pissed off at him, tbh.

You're the second person in this thread to ask me if I have an attraction to men. Although @Baldy Nohairs asked me about rape, which is just sick. Do I give off some kind of homosexual vibe or something? Ffs.....
 
#17 ·
No, it's not lol. That's one of my favorite songs ever, by the Sick Puppies. The video tells the story of a guy and girl that fall for each other, but it's a relationship that's just doomed to fail. They're hopelessly in love with each other but they just can't make it work. I like it so much because I've been in a relationship like that before. It's very sad but still one of my favorites. It reminds of the ex I had from four years ago, the one that I lost to suicide. The girl in the video even looks a bit like her, and acts like she used to act in some ways.

 
#18 ·
How many women have you slept with? :laugh:
 
#19 ·
I don't kiss and tell :grin2:
 
This post has been deleted
#20 ·
No lol. I get in and get out pretty quick no time for pizza. I miss the days when my ex-gf from last year would come over to my apartment for days at a time, and we'd go to work together, and then come home and shower together. Ffs, that was waaay better than pizza in the shower. Omg. That woman was just simply amazing. I still miss her lol. I think we could be friends with benefits if we only lived a little bit closer. We probably could be in spite of the distance, actually. And I've thought about it. I just got too attached to her. She wanted a no strings attached kind of thing, and I ended up wanting more. FML.
 
#22 ·
I still have nightmares about my ex-girlfriend's suicide. I witnessed the whole thing. I don't want to go into details, I just don't have the mental or emotional capacity to relive it all over again right now. But she died in my arms, I called 911 of course but she stopped breathing before EMS could get to her house. There are parts of that day, and several days after that I can't recall, that I have no memory of. I remember my dad telling me that he showed up at her house before she died on arrival to the ER, and he said that after I found out I was sobbing uncontrollably on my knees in the middle of the driveway. I don't have any memory of that, at all. He said he had to literally drag me to his car.

I had nightmares for the first year that were very bad, I actually had night terrors sometimes. Those were scary. I was put on a prescription by my psychiatrist to stop the nightmares, and it worked. I thought they had gone away for good about a year ago, but now they've come back every now and then, though they're rare. (the nightmares, not the night terrors). My therapist says I have them because I'm not talking about it enough, I'm not engaged enough in grief counseling, I miss appointments sometimes...so my brain is dealing with it all in other ways. Idk. I try to talk about it but my therapist pisses me off so much sometimes that I won't go back for a while. We have a love hate relationship lol.
 
#24 ·
Because she is just....relentless. I'm convinced she has a knack, some kind of secret power, to know what I least want to talk about during any given session....and she will pick that one thing. She will make me talk about it. Either that or I will get so pissed off I will just leave (which, I've done before). She doesn't just make me talk about the suicide, she makes me talk about the parts of it that bother me the most. For example, the guilt I have. The conversation we had before we went to bed, the night before she killed herself. She's made me relive that several times. Or, she wants to talk about the relationship I have (or had) with her daughters. We don't even talk anymore really, except for her middle daughter, and it's because it's just too painful. Her daughters and I used to get together every weekend and then it just became too painful I guess. Her oldest daughter and I used to talk quite a bit. We would talk a lot about memories of her of course, we would cry on each other's shoulders at times, and I think it just got to be too much. She reminds me so, soooo much of her. She looks like her and acts like her totally. And she says I remind her of her mom when she was still here too much. So I have a lot of guilt, about her suicide in general, and I have an incredible amount of guilt about her girls no longer having a mommy. And so my therapist wants to talk about it. Over and over again.

I leave her office sometimes feeling much, much worse than I did when I went in. I've completely broken down in her office before during grief counseling, when we're digging into the suicide and what happened. I don't like talking about it. And she is relentless when it comes to talking about it. That's what pisses me off. But you're supposed to talk about it. And tbh she is a pretty good therapist. That's her job. She's supposed to make me talk about the difficult stuff, the stuff that scares you or depresses you the most.
 
#26 ·
Uhm....omg.

*sigh* Well I did say ask me anything, ffs.

I just started a new job, but before I left my old one, we were working in a construction zone for a grand opening, for a retailer. And getting through the aisles was tricky, I mean there was pallets of stuff everywhere, shelves everywhere. So I was walking on top of the base shelves (the lowest shelves) to get through an aisle and I slipped on something wet and lost my balance. It was like in slow motion watching me fall. I just completely busted my *** lol. And of course about twenty people saw me. Everyone was like "are you alright"? No one was mean about it but they could have busted my balls about it if they wanted to lol. I was OK. It was just kind of embarrassing. Kind of like a woman tripping on her dress. You just don't do that. You know it's a construction zone, you know there's stuff everywhere, just be careful, can you not walk?
 
#27 ·
Would you be willing to continue going to your doctor, even with the feeling that you might feel worse than you did going in? Part of the process is to experience the pain you avoid, but in small enough doses that the doc can help you through it.

You have come a LONG way from those days......but I am still saddened to hear that you are having occasional nightmares......Ffs. :lol. I had to throw that in; you know that. :)
 
#30 ·
Would you be willing to continue going to your doctor, even with the feeling that you might feel worse than you did going in? Part of the process is to experience the pain you avoid, but in small enough doses that the doc can help you through it.

You have come a LONG way from those days......but I am still saddened to hear that you are having occasional nightmares......Ffs. :lol. I had to throw that in; you know that. :)
Well thank you. I'm not so sure I've made much progress sometimes, really lol. At least I can hold a job now. At least I'm in therapy (sometimes). I have a whole lot of guilt, and trust issues, that I don't think I'm ever going to work my way through.
 
#31 ·
Yes. Well...it depends on which of my psychiatrists you listen to. I see a woman that has diagnosed me as bipolar several times over. There is no doubt in her mind that I'm manic depressive. Then I used to see a doc in the same building actually, that says I was misdiagnosed as bipolar by another doctor several years ago. He says I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I did these psych evaluation tests for both doctors, a long sort of Q&A about everything from past relationships to my moods to trust issues to my anxiety levels. My answers for all the tests I've taken show that I'm bipolar, and borderline lol. I honestly don't know who to believe anymore. I just know I'm pretty screwed up, I have issues and I need to be in therapy and I need to stay on my meds. My psychiatrists can fight amongst themselves about what label to put on me lol.

I have huge mood swings when I go off the Lithium, that last for days, weeks sometimes. I have crazy highs and lows for what seems like no reason sometimes. I've gone on spending sprees for no reason before. I act very impulsively sometimes.

As for being borderline, I have all the signs for that, all the characteristics, except for problems controlling anger. I have huge trust issues and fear of abandonment, a history of troubled relationships, I think in black and what sometimes, "all or nothing", all of that stuff.
 
#34 ·
Yeah I missed you. Trouble maker :grin2:. Are you still going 12 rounds with the mod team lol?
 
#35 ·
What makes you happy?
 
#37 ·
My kids [emoji4] I'm different when I'm around them, I have almost no anxiety. I'm happiest when I'm about to see them and usually most depressed after I've dropped them back of at their moms.

Also being at the beach makes me happy. If I could I'd live by the ocean. I'm happy now because I'm spending the weekend at the lake with my kids. It's not the beach but, meh, close enough.

~sent from my GalaxyS4
 
#38 ·
I joined in 2010 under a different user name...when I joined back then I was hoping to get some advice on how to cure my anxiety. Yeah I was pretty clueless lol. I realize now I'm stuck with most if not all my disorders until I die. The best I can do is try manage them with meds and therapy.

I still come here because there are users here whose opinions I value, and whose advice I listen to. And it's difficult for me to quit this place, it's like an accident on the side of the road. You know you shouldn't look but you do it anyway.

~sent from my GalaxyS4
 
#44 ·
Blue.

My ex gf's baby blue eyes, blue oceans and blue skies will always be my favorite things.

~sent from my GalaxyS4
 
#45 ·
My kids. Some days they are the only reason my feet hit the floor. I have days, as most people here probably do, where I just want to put the blankets over my head and stay in bed all day. I'm convinced I wouldn't even be here anymore if not for them.

Meds also keep me going. I very rarely have times when I feel down and out for too long anymore. Whereas I used to go for weeks at a time feeling that way. The difference between me when on my meds and me when not is like night and day, ffs.

~sent from my GalaxyS4
 
#48 ·
Who'd you wanna be in a parallel universe?

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G920A using Tapatalk
I'm not sure. I know this answer is boring as *** but I'd just want to be normal. I get so tired (as all of us do) of battling this anxiety stuff, and all my other disorders. I'd like to know what it's like to never have to think about or worry about anxiety / depression.

I might want to be a PGA golfer. Those guys have a tough life. Playing golf all day. That's your job, ffs. Wow.

I might want to be Amy Schumer. I think she's hilarious, and she's kind of hot in a way to me lol. But then I'd be attracted to myself, so not sure how that would work. I love how blunt she is, she just says what she's thinking and she doesn't give two fuqs. I kind of look up to her in a way because her whole attitude is "this is me, love me or hate me, whatever" and she's so unafraid to be herself and express herself, damn the consequences.
 
#49 ·
Almost, yeah. Ffs. I try not to irl as much because I know it would get annoying (and I've been told it's a little annoying online by one other user lmao).
 
#53 ·
Well, thank you...I don't think I'm an awesome dad...I think I do the best I can. I have a lot of things I need to work on. My oldest was just diagnosed with MDD and GAD. I have a lot of guilt about that, it's something I was talking to my therapist about earlier. I think one of the best things you can do for your kids is lead by example....they don't do what I say, they do what I do, and unfortunately I've made some mistakes. I have a lot of guilt about the divorce, even though my ex-wife is the one that had the affairs. I worry about how that's affected them.

I have a pretty amazing father. There's no doubt he's been the most positive influence on me, in my entire life. He's had the biggest impact. I look up to him because he's struggled, he's fought and he's always managed to win. He wins at everything he does. He doesn't even have a college degree and he's very successful at what he does...I've met some of the guys he works with and they look up to him. He makes more per year and is more successful than I'll probably ever be lol. He has a pretty nice corner office. He also works his *** off.

I also decided at a pretty young age that I didn't want to be like my mom. She was very abusive. I swore if I ever had a family (and I knew I would one day) I'd never treat my kids the way she treated me and my sister.

My kids are my whole world, the whole reason I even bother getting up in the morning. Being a dad is a lot like being on a roller coaster. Sometimes it's scary, sometimes fun, sometimes you don't know what the hell is around the next turn, sometimes you feel sick. But mostly it's really, really fun. I'm blessed to have my kids in my life at all, they're awesome. The love I get back from them is 1,000 times what I give, and in ways I never expected.
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top